"It is impossible to make people understand their ignorance; for it requires knowledge
to perceive it and therefore he that can perceive it hath it not."  - Jeremy Taylor

"When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign,
that the dunces are all in confederacy against him."   - Jonathan Swift

“I have made but one prayer to God, a very short one:
'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.'
And God granted it.”  - Voltaire

"I wish, my dear Kepler, that we could have a good laugh together
at the extraordinary stupidity of the mob."  - Galileo Galilei.

"One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat
ten men who haven't and don't."
- George Berenard Shaw

"The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism."
-Saint Jerome (374 AD - 419 AD)

“Harly Davisdon forevvur yuo faggits!!”
- 94Fatboy@aol.com

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The (Absolute) Very Best of 
Harley Owner Feedback
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Presenting the biggest orgy of mental retardation this side of a Special Ed harem

BYRDMAN - This guy presents us with an example of what happens when pious devotion and utter stupidity are blended into a tragic fusion of bold fiction and pure stupidity.  Hint: if you're going to throw percentages and numbers into an argument, you should always make sure that the biggest strength behind the "factual" numbers you present isn't a concept that the rest of us like to refer to as "exaggeration."

JHINOL - This guy really puts the "rant" back into "ignorant."  A bit of advice here, folks.  If you come blazing for me with both sixguns spewing hot lead then it's a damn good idea to make sure that the barrels of those guns aren't pointing squarely at your own feet when your fingers start to spastically pull the triggers and crank off round after round.  If there was any fiddle and banjo music to accompany this loser's impromptu hairy barefoot-scoot, it would have to be called "the twelve shots and ten toes hoedown."  Yee-haw!

GKBAIN - While I have to give this guy ten bonus points for a creative email format I'm forced to deduct ten points for his choice to voluntarily be stupid and that puts his final score at a big fat zero which, coincidently, is probably what this guy is in real life.

ZEB - This guy wants to step up and be the new public defender for flag slathered retards and patriotic dullards around the world.  So be it.  The only problem is that while he thinks that he's original and different, I'm only too happy to prove that he is merely a prime example of those he seeks to take up for.  It's a clear cut case of "the bland leading the bland" in this think-by-numbers exercise.

TOM H. - Tom is a likeable kind of guy.  He writes very well and if he tried a little harder I honestly believe that he really could be entertaining (that is, if he could just loosen up a little bit and not take everything so damn seriously).  Here is a fine example of someone who means well but ...

FREELYX - No, it's not that guy from KISS but since FREELYX asked me to post his response to my site I had to honor his request.  He does write very well and I enjoyed reading his email as it was truly a breath of fresh air that differentiated itself instantly from my regular supply of stale hillbilly offal.

VSKMan - This guy is so dumb he has to be watered twice a week.

QUADCAMDAN - I really would have liked to reply to QUADCAMDAN but I'm afraid that I simply didn't know any words small enough for him to understand.

Bill Sudokow -    This guy may actually be an advanced research project into Artificial Stupidity because every time he opens his mouth, he subtracts from the sum total of all human knowledge.

Mark McGhee -  This guy has a reading comprehension problem that is only outweighed by his rather serious psychotic behavior and deep rooted anger management issues.

CChix- This poor guy's account is definitely overdrawn at the First National Bank of Mental Retardation.

"Dagger" and the Hell's Angles- Another death threat from a disposable free email account located on a server in Australia.  Apparently, this guy thinks I'm going to take him seriously when he can't even correctly spell the name of the club he claims to belong to.  I doubt he is a member of the club that he professes to belong to or that he even speaks for them because when it comes to recruiting new members, even they have standards (be that as they may), one of which is "you must be smarter than a box of rusty spark plugs" to join.

DoN GuStAvO- If there's a Mafia composed solely of the criminally stupid, then this butt muppet is a self-Made Man.

Courtney Wallace- You have to love the naive ignorance of a liberal Democrat who thinks that a Republican is someone who can't afford a Harley.  It's not that we can't afford a Harley, it's that we're smart enough not to buy one.

Bjorn Kerigson - Unlike Leif Ericson (970 AD to 1120 AD), who was a courageous Viking that discovered North America long before Christopher Columbus ever did, Bjorn here has decided to foolishly rush into uncharted territory and, as chance would have it, discover something far less important but certainly much larger; his own personal ignorance.

Lauren- What a dear, sweet, naive child.  I've said it time and time again for years now that our great country has been systematically dumbed down over the last four decades when it comes to the public education system but your email really is proof positive of that assertion.

Nhojs- I'm not sure what his name means either.  Perhaps it stands for Never Heard Of Japanese Superiority...

VTwin- a self proclaimed 1% who, when asked to put his money where his mouth is, suddenly finds his head up his ass.

Terry Walton- Lowering the intellectual bar even further yet  for the diet minded serfs that populate Willie G.'s redneck fiefdom, Terry thinks that he's found my Achilles' heel but I'm happy to report that he's wrong about a great many things including law enforcement, firearms, science fiction, motorcycles and economics.  Apparently, they really grow them dumb where Terry lives and this mental pygmy goes out of his way to prove that he's the cream of the crop.

MIDNIGHT RIDER- Tony has, in one fell swoop, lowered the intellectual bar for every Harley owner in the world.  Come and see the true poster child of the Milwaukee Orthodoxy but I warn you!  After you read "Midnight Rider's" email, you'll probably be spending some time at the sink trying to wash the dumb out of your eyes.

ZR1427-  This hill scoggin proudly claims to own four Harleys and a junk yard.  I have the pleasure of explaining to his ignorant ass that if you are dumb enough to own four Harleys then you automatically also, by default, own a junk yard.  Duh.

Russel Laughlin, Jr.- Another hill scoggin who traded down from an import to a Harley and thought he got a good deal in the process.  Not only that, but Mr. Laughlin really wants to use the front end of his old car to make sport bike riders into impromptu hood ornaments.

"Coach" Mike Roberts- Hailing from the la-la land of ivory tower laden Academia, Mike's bumbling personal manifesto tells us how he is proud to have earned a PhD in financial stupidity.

Tina-  Come away, dear.  Let us have you deprogrammed before it is too late.

Ironhourseman- When it comes to spelling, this guy must have gone to the same school that the cows from Chik-Fil-A(tm) did.  The only difference is that the cows actually graduated.

1%JD-  Be careful what you wish for, you just may get it, sir.

JSiegler- I'm not sure what this guy's problem is, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't either.

Russ Sharbaugh- Another hill scoggin who cannot master a simple concept like Email.  That is one of his many failings which I address.

Outlaw45c- This is the best of the typical pro-Harley email which I receive.  If you want to find out why I don't have very high opinions of people who own Harleys, then you won't wonder any longer after you explore the mental workings of this inbred degenerate.

Ben Acuff - Mr. Acuff claims to be a Honda owner, yet he uses a 90 year old dictionary to try to get his point across.  You do the math.

T. McQueen-  "Mister Richard's" goes above and beyond the call of inbred duty to prove that stupidity is a very, very bad thing.   He's the latest poster child in my campaign to stamp out ignorance on two wheels and the sad thing is, he actually volunteered for the job.  I hope that you will find, as I most certainly have, that he more than qualifies for the role.

CustomAceRider-  Just another clueless individual.   And those are his good points.

FC- FC has a lot of old sayings to espouse when it comes to his choice in motorcycles and in defense of the lemmings.

Gary- This guy goes out of his way to prove that he's the weakest link in the igmo breeding chain.

Eli-  Eli is a local expatriate.  When she left Mississippi way back in 1986, the collective IQ of the entire state actually increased by several points and we've only gotten smarter since then!

Todd-   Todd Terriaferro is an interesting scoggin who has invented a unique world of delusion, hatred, and outright racism which he chooses to populate with himself and a tiny support cast of even more dim-witted, like-minded Luddites.  I hear his message board is the cyber-space equivalent of a trailer park, with the usual monobrow, sister swapping, meth-cooking inbretards that you would expect populating it.  Fear not!  If you are looking for the definition of the term "scoggin", and have always wondered just what a "scoggin" is, Todd Terriaferro defines the term for you!

Todd (again)- Yes, the same Todd, which we refer to on the ANGST message boards lovingly as "Toddler" among other more colorful names is back again!  This time he's reinforcing his argument almost entirely with the work of someone else, which just goes to prove that when it comes to dumb, you just can't beat Todd.  As I have never bragged on myself or talked much about myself on this site, Todd has presented me the opportunity and demanded that I answer some frequently asked questions about my life.  I fully comply and correct Todd's many misunderstandings in my usual manner.  If you've ever wondered about my life, follow this link and you'll have your answers.  Or not.

Cletus- Another Cletus joins the fray and this one is definitely a smartyscoggin!  Cletus E. Ford has done some amazing historical research on the name of "Cletus" and how it played a rather trivial part in anything having to do with civilization.  I believe that Mr. Ford has insulted me the most of any of these scoggins; he claims that I'm tolerant.  I prove him oh so, so wrong.

Lorne-  Lorne is an ignorant Canadian.  I don't even think he rides a motorcycle, but he felt empowered to send me an inexcusable piece of excrement disguised as an email that talked down to my beloved country.  You have to forgive Lorne though.  Like I said, he's Canadian and therefore, of obvious French descent which means he comes from a long line of genetic losers and underachievers.   Lorne's email has all the makings of one of those tired old chain letters that floats around the web from time to time, and if Lorne actually had a functioning brain stem, he would never have sent this junk in the first place, but since he did, I felt it was my patriotic duty to set him straight on each and every one of his many misunderstandings.

Jim- Jim seems to think he has the answers to this website, but he couldn't be more sadly mistaken.  He's also pretty mistaken on the Honda Interceptor and a whole lot of other things.  I try to correct him where he has messed up.

Clarence- This guy claims to be a "Harley Tech"- An oxymoron if ever there existed one.  Clarence then goes on to chime in with a preprogrammed response admonishing the quality of both the ride of a Harley Davidson and the service you are given at a Harley Davidson dealership as being the reason you are charged out your ass for a lackluster piece of junk.  If you've never seen a preprogrammed Harley corporate automaton before, now is your chance!

Gerry- Gerry turned down MENSA because he thought they were pompous asses, yet he belongs to a group of 650 like minded riders.  He claims to be in the upper 3% of intellectually endowed individuals, and offers some interesting insights into the Harley mystique.  Oh, and he can read dials and push buttons on complex medical equipment that the rest of you wouldn't have a clue as to how to operate, or so he claims.

Tramp431- Tramp is a pathetic grammar challenged wretch who believes that you should be able to name your child Harley and if you make fun of people who name their children after a redneck icon, that the Hell's Angels will descend with mighty thunder and flatulent fury to smite you.  He also believes that fire is magic and hygiene is optional.

Brian- Perhaps one of the most thought provoking emails which I have received to date.  The funny thing is, I doubt that Brian even owns a Harley....

Phil- Two emails and a dump truck load of steaming hot industrial-grade stupidity proves that when you mix long ago clichéd acronyms, AOL, and a total lack of understanding of how to use the CAPS LOCK key that you get someone like this diet-minded ass clown.

Phil- Round Two- Phil returns again for a short mental rematch.  The bell sounds and the rather pedant ass clown comes out of his corner swinging.  Little does Phil know that the Dark One has a horseshoe hidden in his boxing glove in the form of Phil's rather pathetic but nonetheless mirth-generating AOL profile.  It gets really ugly rather quickly after that...

Tom- Not only can Tom not produce an effective insult, he apparently is a repeat offender when it comes to sodomizing the English language.

Stephen- If stupidity was a crime, this guy would get the chair.   Stephen dared me to post this email.  Be careful what you wish for, it probably will come back and bite you in the ass.  Stephen finds that lesson out the hard way.

Cletus- Cletus tries to prove that you really can buy freedom over the counter, and that anything not made in Milwaukee is therefore produced by communists.  Just when you think that you've hit bottom on the lemming logic, some uber-lemming shows up and sets the bar higher.  Or lower, as the case may be.

Kristina- Please welcome our first Harley bitch.  Her words, not mine.  She's also a hypocrite, a racist, a homophobe, and has some really deep issues that only chemical therapy and possibly extended electro shock therapy will be able to solve.

Claude- I'm not sure what Claude's problem is, but I bet it's difficult to pronounce!

Daniel- Another liberal minded, middle of the fence walking, ass-fairy who doesn't understand the concept of "jealousy".

Steve- Bend over and embrace technology, chimp.

Beefong- I'm not sure if this is a online handle or a obscure type of homo erotic ass toy.  It sure sounds like the latter...

Chavezx- If imitation is the greatest form of flattery then this chimp is definitely trying to insult me.

Dave- Is this a new breed of Harley rider or just a random inbred mutation?  Dave prides himself in being an "intillectual", whatever that is...

Mike- I love it when a person clearly identifies what I am working with by making the subject line of their email "RETARDED".

Tim (and bonus of Charles) - Just another knuckle dragging proto-simian rough hair covered no-neck monosyllable grunting Neanderthal-retard who has more money than common sense and is more than willing to prove it.

Joel-  A Milwaukee sock puppet with 20 years of experience at being a total vagina.

David- A wholly unoriginal example of why abortion should be mandatory in some cases...

Blake- Tells it like he wishes it frigging was...

Harry- A Harley riding rocket scientist!  Now there's an oxymoron if ever there was one! Sounds like a bad children's book...

"R R" - Just another grammar challenged clueless defender of idiocy and its many disciples...  Another confused individual whose only saving grace from not having to wear a helmet is that his skull is solid bone...

Junior- No, not Junior Samples, but another sample of HD stupidity.  This guy's family tree isn't a straight line, it's a dotted line.

Tero- Just your average confused closet homo racist piece of Euro-trash riding a poser bike, and those are his good points...  

Jeff- If anyone ever wanted to be a sheep, this guy is just begging to be let into the flock.  Unfortunately, I think even the flock has certain minimum standards.  It must be really sad when you are turned down by sheep...

Jim Simple as the day is long, just like his name...

Pete- A 23 year old "Harley Rider for Life!"(tm) and a recent convert from 'rice' to 'crap'

Roger "Elmer" Mauck- A Harley owner of 23 years!  Sad, isn't it, to be so ignorant for so long...   You would think that two decades would be long enough to get a clue.

Dale- the Harley Riding Latin Professor who goes to prove that you need to match good common sense with a strong education, otherwise you are selling yourself short.   Dale, for example, is a mental midget, which is pretty short in IQ stature when you think about it.

Jack R. Winhall, Sr.- no, you don't know Jack.  Not this one...  In fact, Jack doesn't know jack and he proves it!

Patchman- Baaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaa badass acting sheep wannabe poser leather clad bondage clown.

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"I truly believe that Harley riders do know that Japanese and Italian bikes are better, they can't be that stupid. It's just you pitched them into a corner and they feel that they have to defend themselves. After all, you have attacked one of the last bastions of pure white culture left in America; the Harley. Oh, I forgot, NASCAR too."
- BruceT

"Stupidity is like nuclear power.  It can be used for good or evil.  And you don't want to get any on you." 
-Scott Adams

"I'll warn you all now, the man is no dummy and will destroy you if you don't have your shit together."
- Agave

"With any luck a crackhead will put a bullet in the fuckhead cops face and all this will end..."
- user "DIEPIG" from the American Angst forum

"Whatever you do, don't reply to the owner of the web site. He'll make minced meat of you!"
-Quote from a HD forum thread regarding this site.

"I've come to the conclusion that people with tattoos are just walking billboards for Satan."
-Longmire

"If this is the best they have, we'll be ruling this planet in six months." 
-Charleton Heston, "Taylor", Planet of the Apes, 1968

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