TRAMP431
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Gerry would like to think that Harley riders are not idiots, but judging by the email which I receive, 8 out of 10 people who are pro-Harley fall into Tramp's mentality as shown below rather than Gerry's mentality as shown above.  TRAMP431 really lives up to his name, at least in brain capacity, by proving that he is a short changed mental hobo hitching a ride on a one-way freight train to mediocrity... his next stop?   Ignoranceville, population: him.

From:            Tramp431@shaw.ca
To:                 Black Echo
Subject:       Wanna be's website?
Date:             Mon, 16 Dec 2002

Was reading your crap for abit and it didn't take long to see you were still just a kid my friend?  And too dumb to bother wasting much time on besides!  And by the way there are those that call their children Harley, that you might think twice about insulting again, asshole?  Like members of a well knowen name in outlaw bike clubs for instance? And don't think they wouldn't take the time to look you up personally, some day!? The world doesn't take for granted these guys are crazy for nothing you know?  And you can never be sure just what certain types of people, might decide to do next?  Like making it a priority to stomp your weasly ball licking shit hole sucking too stupid to live worthless virgin punk ass, for one!

Go along and play now kiddy, ok?  You just be sure you watch that attitude problem from now on though Shirley, or you know what's bound to come next, right? 



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TO WHICH I REPLIED
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Oh, excellent!

Another perfect example of the rapidly failing public education system has been delivered to my inbox for me to put on display!  The amount of sheer ignorance which you have produced in such a short amount of time caused me to weep openly for the future of the human race.   I also see that you and simple grammar are bitter, mortal enemies, sworn to destroy each other no matter how long it takes.

Oh, well.  I guess everyone needs a hobby… it's just the first time that I've ever seen anyone have ignorance as a hobby and be so good at their trade.

Was reading your crap for abit and it didn't take long to see you were still just a kid my friend?  And too dumb to bother wasting much time on besides!

You mention that you were “reading” my work.  I find that somewhat hard to believe since it is evident that you can not even write in a halfway articulate manner and yet you expect me to believe that you can read with any high degree of skill let alone success?   People like you are the reason that pictograms were invented.  People like you are the reason that they have pictures on the buttons of the cash registers at fast food restaurants instead of the names of the items on the menu.

Since I really didn’t allocate much spare time this holiday season to spend with mono-brow neanderetards such as yourself, I’ll have to be brief here as time is of the essence.

And by the way there are those that call their children Harley, that you might think twice about insulting again, asshole?  Like members of a well knowen name in outlaw bike clubs for instance?

Ah, good!  I see that you've decided to add punctuation to your list of essential parts of the English language you intend to destroy single-handedly.

I’ll say it again since apparently you didn’t understand it the first time and I don’t have either the time or the patience now to track down some crayons and construction paper and draw you a simple fucking picture.  IF you name your child “Harley”, whether that child is male or female, if you name your child after the brand of motorcycle that is built in Milwaukee, then you are a complete funnel-twat. And, do you really think that members of outlaw biker gangs name their children after the particular brand of bikes that they ride?   What a patently ridiculous notion.  If what you say is true, and "Harley" is a common biker child name, then I bet it's confusing as hell at your typical biker rally.  Imagine, you call out for your child and forty other barefoot, Kool-Aid(tm) mustached scoggin children all come running because they have the same name.

Name your child "Harley?" 

That's such a yuppie trendy moron thing to do...    Real bikers would have more sense than that.   They would give their child a respectable name, like "Cletus", "Joe-Joe", or "Dewayne."   Even naming your child "Booger" would be more socially acceptable than naming them "Harley."

But I digress and time here is short.

Any girl named “Harley” is either going to have an illustrious career in the amateur porn video industry, or will be guaranteed a job as a hand model on QVC during the weekly cubic zirconium sale-a-thon that causes all the phone lines at the local trailer park to overload.  Failing those two obvious career choices, might I suggest that Waffle House is always looking for good, capable bodied waitresses, and perhaps having the name of “Harley” will make her really popular with the over the road and long distance truckers.  That might be to her advantage in the long run, tip earning wise.  Perhaps, in a few years, she might even have saved up enough hard earned money to get her name legally changed to something that the rest of the human race could find respectable.  Something like "Cletus" or "Booger."

Since you are of the barely sentient mental capacity that is apparently required to see absolutely no problem with naming your child “Harley”, after the brand of motorcycle, then perhaps you will, in turn, see nothing wrong with naming your son “Winston”, having named him after the NASCAR Winston 500 race that you scoggins adore and worship so much.

Or better yet, if you are going to name your child after the motorcycle that you worship so fervently, why don’t you just name your son “Sportster” as in:

“This is my son, Sportster.  I named him, you know, after the Harley Davidson motorcycle I been wanting all these years, because this little shit's about as close as I’m ever going to get to owning a real Sportster I guess.   Especially with that alimony and all that child support.”

It doesn’t surprise me anymore that what passes for low grade ectoprotoplasm at your sublevel of the food chain would see nothing wrong in naming their child after a piece of ridiculously overpriced redneck pop culture junk.  After all, Harley Davidson isn’t a motorcycle or even a motorcycle company anymore; it’s become a rampant, out of control cult religion for easily brainwashed, fashion slut zombies who collectively have the mental prowess of a urine-soaked Twinkie™.  Harley Davidson is the pseudo-religion L. Ron Hubbard would have created, if he hadn’t thought of scientology first.  As to which religion generates more money by milking stupid people, I'd guess Harley, but it's probably a close race.

Naming your child “Harley” should, at the very least bring a charge of criminal child abuse and be punishable by law, along with resulting in the proper authorities removing your child from your redneck abode and taking the child away from any further taint which you might spread to her poor mind. 

Here’s another idea.  Rather than name your child “Harley”, wouldn’t it be better if you just went ahead and admitted that not only are you totally unfit to be a parent, but that you are wholly unoriginal and a complete fucking failure as a basic human being.  You should also voluntarily agree to be neutered with a variable speed belt sander (using 40 grit paper) for the benefit of the human race.   I think we can work in a mandatory stipulation on that part as well for people like you who would be chronic repeat offenders.

Do try to be a little bit more original, try to exercise a few untapped brain cells and in the process join the rest of the human race.  It just isn’t that hard.

Like members of a well knowen name in outlaw bike clubs for instance?  And don't think they wouldn't take the time to look you up personally, some day?!  The world doesn't take for granted these guys are crazy for nothing you know?

Oh, please....  The Hell's Angels?  You can't be serious.  The remade movie version of Charlie's Angels scares me more than the Hell's Angels.  Seeing Drew Barrymore trying to be a serious actress terrifies me more than the sight of a bunch of overweight, burned out hippies with questionable personal hygiene habits, dressed like they were going to a S&M rally, all riding around on obtrusively utilitarian, steroid enhanced mopeds ever could...

Tramp431, you really can’t be that patently stupid, now can you?   Seriously.  I thought that Beefong was dumb for a no shoes, hay seed chewing, sister buggering, moonshine swilling, harmonica playing, slack jawed, redneck yokel, but you make him look like a Nobel Prize candidate by comparison.  Do you actually think that the Hell's Angels or any other outlaw bike gang is going to bother to come and look me up personally just because I don’t like their bikes and I say so on the Internet?  Just how na´ve are you?  Never mind, don't answer that. I'll let you plead the fifth in your own defense.

If you truly are referring to the Hell's Angels, then trust me, they could care less if I bad mouth Harley because Harley has done nothing for the Hell's Angels.  Harley has turned their back on their greatest asset.  The Hell's Angels have done nothing but help to sell Harleys left and right for the Motor Company, to offer a fanciful image of an outlaw biker that is available mail order to any moron with a handful of cash.  They've sold Harleys for the Motor Company for decades, the Motor Company has gotten rich off the escapades and the reputation of the Hell's Angels and have they received any recognition for their hard work?

No.

But then you would expect that from the Motor Company, to suck every last red cent, even from the outlaws.

The Motor Company is too much of a pansy ass fashion industry now to ever tie their name publicly to the raw and brash Hell's Angels or associate with any outlaw biker gang in any manner of official brand endorsement.  That's why you don't see Harley Davidson Brand Hell's Angels Brew coffee or a Hell's Angels version of Mattel's Ken and Barbie.

If I was the leader of the Hell's Angels, I'd be running the show a whole lot differently.  As soon as Ken and Barbie started riding the bikes that we rode, we would have switched to something else instead of conformed and become a pop culture standard.  You can't be a non-conformist or an outlaw if your wardrobe and your mode of transportation are mail order and show room stock.  How can you be against The Establishment and against The Man when The Man and The Establishment ride and dress the same way that you do?  Part of being a rebel is abandoning the social norms, not embracing them wholeheartedly.  How can you be a rebel when what you are rebelling against doesn't resent you, in fact, it tries to imitate you.

That is why I can't ever take the Hell's Angels seriously.  Rebellion isn't a trendy thing, and being an outlaw was never something that was for sale out of a catalog or an occupation where you had to accessorize correctly in order to be liked.

My personal advice to the Hell's Angels would be; if you are going to be real bad asses, and you want to be considered real bad asses, then get real bad ass bikes, not little candy ass yuppie scooters like Ken and Barbie just bought.  Any bike that Mattel designs for Barbie, the most fake bitch around, can’t be very impressive if you think about it in context with a member of the Hell's Angels.  The problem with that suggestion is that the Hell's Angels still think that the bike makes them.  They are scared to let go of part of their past.   They fear that if they switch to imports, no one will take them seriously.   What I'm trying to tell them, and people like them is that your bike is not your life.  The real outlaws ride imports, not fifty something horsepower dinosaurs.  You can be an outlaw on a Ninja, and probably have a lot more money in your pocket at the end of the day as well as a better bike that truly lives up to your bad ass image.  Hollywood has done a lot to promote the visual appeal of outlaw bikers, from Brian Bosworth to Charlie Sheen, it looks good on film, and those bikes do seem powerful, but like Harley Davidson, it's all just a dog and pony show, it isn't real.

If the Hell's Angels ever did roll into town way down here, we would probably stare each other down and then bust out laughing, share introductions, and all ride off to have a hell of a party with lots of cold beer, southern barbecue and spend hours poking fun at the stupid RUBs, the yuppies and the ignorant, uneducated, retarded wannabe pretend dress-up outlaw assholes such as yourself who would ride up on their low mileage Harleys and want to be part of the group and get their picture taken.  I think I can raise a lot of money for the Hell's Angels if they come down here, we'll just design a T-shirt, sell a barbecue plate lunch, and then charge all the doctors and lawyers $500 a ticket to eat lunch and have their picture taken with a real Hell's Angel.  Yeah, if they roll into town down here, I'll only take 10% profit off the top as my cut, they can have the rest.  It'll be the easiest damn money I ever made because I'll be taking it from total nimrods like yourself who not only taint the mystique that is Harley Davidson, but also do it's reputation an incredibly large amount of damage.

I mean, really, how much respect can I have for Harley Davidson when ignorant people like you are its target market and its loudest supporters?

People like you hurt Harley Davidson's image far more than I do.  I write eloquently and in an educated manner, expressing my opinion on what I feel with great skill and thought.  You, on the other hand, are lucky to single finger peck out a string of words threatening violence and using slander when your logic fails (which it is oft to do when it is kept in a brain the size of a rabbit pellet).  You are a rank amateur, Tramp.  You are unknowledgeable, uneducated, ignorant, stupid, and a useless waste of human skin and those are your good qualities.

And besides, I think that the Hell's Angels have far better things to do than ride off in a cloud of oil burning exhaust just to defend your bruised little wannabe ego.  The first ass that the Hell's Angels would kick would probably be yours, for being such a superfluous whining ignorant little loser who somehow managed to climb up on a Harley and get it going without using a step stool or a set of officially licensed and endorsed chrome training wheels.

And you can never be sure just what certain types of people, might decide to do next?  Like making it a priority to stomp your weasly ball licking shit hole sucking too stupid to live worthless virgin punk ass, for one!

I love how you inbred redneck stumpfucks have to resort to threats and violence to make your point because your ridiculous logic is non-existent.  More proof positive that you should be castrated in order to prevent you from contaminating the rest of the human race with your sordid, insipid seed. The fact is, for all your put on bravado, you yourself are just a store bought lifestyle endorsing wannabe, a cardboard cutout of a Hollywood image of what an outlaw should look like in order to milk the trend sucking masses of every last red cent possible.  You possess no education, display a vein of deep running and possibly hereditary ignorance, and broadcast absolutely zero personality to top it all off.  Thanks for showing me that in the so called evolutionary leap from ape to man, you and yours didn’t quite jump far enough to ever qualify as a human fucking being.

And as for someone looking me up personally in order to do me great bodily harm all because I point out that they are an idiot for naming their child after a motorcycle?  Well, I have just three simple little words for them.  I’ll say them slow for your benefit.

Bring.

It.

On.

As I am a police officer, I have the training, the experience, and the hardware to take care of myself, and my family, especially against any ignorant, uneducated, herd minded, tiny brained, skating, no-life unoriginal, posing twat-git, semen slurping pretard on an obsolete piece of slovenly junk that I could hear coming from five miles away on a dark and stormy night.  If someone is stupid enough to cross state lines and assault a six foot tall, two hundred and ten pound police officer with years of experience and enough personal firearms and hardware to start my very own redneck militia force, then I welcome the opportunity to give that person a one on one nomination for the current year’s Darwin Award. 

If the Hell's Angels want to ride down here because they got their teensy weensy feelings hurt by some words on the Internet, then they are no where near as tough as they make out to be.  Remember the old childhood saying?   "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."   The Hell's Angels must have pretty thin skin to be such bad ass bikers if a bunch of tiny words make them cry and hurt their feelings.

When the Hell's Angels start riding serious bikes, then I'll take them seriously.

You seem to look up to the Hell's Angels as some kind of avenging warrior force for Harley Davidson, like Arthur’s knights of the Round Table.  You think that people around the world cower before the name of the Hell's Angels.  How pathetic.  If I'm going to be scared of someone in organized crime, it's the American mob or the Pacific Rim Yakuza, not a bunch of unwashed villagers on outdated rattletraps going around trying to act like role models for a buy to live pseudo-religion that started in an outhouse turned garage in backwoods Milwaukee.

Want to know what one of your beloved Hell's Angels had to say about Harley Davidson?  Sonny Barger, one of the original founders of the Hell's Angels has this to say about Harley Davidson motorcycles.

“Harleys are junk, technology wise. If I was not a Hell’s Angel I would probably be riding an ST1100, a BMW or a Triumph. But I am a Hell’s Angel so I ride a Harley, and the one good thing I can say about Harleys is they made me a good living; by being junk they need to be fixed all the time.  Of the new bikes, I just got a new 2000 model in March. I've got 22000 miles on it. It runs well, its been opened up, the brakes work. It's probably the best motor, transmission and brakes that Harley ever put out. But in reality, technology wise, it's still a million years behind everything else. Harleys new balancing system on their 88V motors is the kind of thing a Caterpillar tractor had a hundred years ago.” –Sonny Barger, original founder of the Hell's Angels

Like I just said, if I belonged to a group of bad-ass mo-fos, the last thing I would want to be seen on is a piece of outdated junk, especially a piece of outdated junk that has been embraced and elevated to a trendy fashion accessory by the socially conforming, slack spine, limp wrested, nincompansies who choose to buy their lifestyle rather than earn it.  It’s kind of like having Rambo go into battle riding a pink Barbie™ tricycle with a little bling-bling bell, rainbow tassels and a white plastic basket up front with little plastic flowers on it to hold all of his ammo and equipment; it just doesn’t compliment the image and undermines the whole ‘bad-ass’ mystique to the point that its rather silly, now doesn’t it?  Who would take Rambo seriously on a pink tricycle.  And who would take a Hell's Angel seriously on an outdated piece of junk like a Harley?

Not me.

The problem with the Hell's Angels is that they, like the bikes that they ride, have allowed themselves to fall behind the times.   They believe that their bikes are what make them bad, they've tied their image to a laughable antique and it is dragging them down.  They are only scary to the uneducated and the uninformed.   Harley Davidson isn't a bad-ass bike, it never was, it never will be.  It had some power back when the concept of a 'motorcycle' was fresh and new, but today, the rest of the world has left Harley Davidson in the dust.  Harley Davidson is a poser bike now, and anyone who rides it is a poser, a wannabe.  Now, if the Hell's Angels all showed up riding open class / full liter sportbikes, each packing over a hundred and twenty horsepower and able to see one sixty plus on the top end, with a quiet exhaust that allowed them to sneak up on their victims, then I might be a little concerned.  Riding a bunch of overweight, underpowered, loud pipe Harleys?

I doubt it.

People around here would probably think they were some kind of philanthropic event rather than a gang of outlaws or wonder where the bike show was going to be held so they could go pull the cover off of their new, low mile Harley, polish and wax it, and then slowly ride it up to the show so that all the other pretards could oooooh and aaaaaah over it while they bragged about being real bikers.

Hell, I doubt if half of the Hell's Angels who tried to get this far would make it on their bikes…  Those that made it would be even less of a cohesive group when they returned.  The rest of the club would arrive in a few days in the backs of pickup trucks and on rented flatbeds, slowly straggling in to rebuild their bikes back to riding condition so some other gang didn’t take all their turf and burn all of their clubs down while they were gone.  I have no respect for the Hell's Angels nor do I fear them.  Most of their reputation is blown way out of proportion, they are no where near the formidable foe that everyone thinks that they are.  They’ve become a complacent icon in pop culture, instead of a force to be reckoned with.   There are far worse gangs out there than the Hell's Angels that I worry about, and some of them are local.  We have ways of dealing with large gangs where I live, whether they are rap-listening, AK-47 toting crack-heads or a bunch of middle age, hygiene challenged, burned out, wannabe hippie retards riding surplus farm equipment turned trendy scooter on some damn holy crusade to polish up their tarnished honor because someone hurt their feelings with some harsh words on the Internet.  You would think that men of such obvious legend and powerful reputation would be big enough that a few little itty bitty words wouldn’t hurt them, but then, like I said, their image is mostly blown way out of proportion and is only the stuff of legend and awe to utter pretards such as yourself who wouldn’t know a real biker if they saw them.

Sonny Barger also said, IIRC, that if the Hell’s Angels were formed as a club today, they would not be riding Harleys.  Probably because so many other pansy candy asses have taken to riding Harleys and because Harley sold out a long time ago.  They would be riding Suzuki Hiyabusas or similar open class sport and muscle / power bikes.  In other words, they would be riding real bad ass bikes instead of little pretend to be bad ass bikes.

Go along and play now kiddy, ok?  You just be sure you watch that attitude problem from now on though Shirley, or you know what's bound to come next, right?

You refer to me as a child, yet I do not act or write like one.  You, on the other hand, come across as having at most a fourth grade education.   At most.  And as to your question of "what's bound to come next", the only thing I can think of is that you will finally be moved on from fourth grade to fifth.  This won't be because of any educational accomplishment on your part, but because at seventeen years old, you will be far taller than the rest of the kids in your class and your desk simply won’t fit you anymore. 

"Shirley?"

Surely you don't think I'm going to take you the least bit seriously, Tramp431.  Given this initial impression of yourself, I find it easy to discern why it is that you like Harley Davidson and feel that the Hell's Angels will come riding to your emotional rescue.  Dumb begets dumb.  Thank you for proving my point once again.

And I guess I really did have some time after all to spend with a mono-brow neanderetard such as yourself, but then, time is like a great sportbike; it flies when you're having fun.



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