Got the shirt, great job brother. -CosmoJoe

God!  This shirt has caused some controversy when I've worn it.  You wouldn't believe the amount of fuming that the coverall wearing scoggins do when they take the time to read it.  This has to be my favorite shirt of all now.  Thank you for putting into words on a T-shirt what I have always felt.  -BHankins

I got the XL shirt the day before leaving for the weekend party. I had heard a rumor that two of the invitees (husband and wife) had recently bought HDs. So it was with great pride that once we arrived I asked them, "Is it true that you hill scoggins just bought a couple of HDs?"  They said "Yes, but what's a hill scoggin?" I spun around on one foot and waited 'til they read the shirt. Big laughs all around. I called the husband "Stumpfuck" for the rest of the weekend. I won't bother to relay what they called me. But it was all in great fun.  Enjoyed them immensely.  Thanks, -Mark

NEW LOWER PRICES!  I have reduced the price of each shirt by a dollar.  Each shirt is just $9.99 each plus $3.00 shipping and fondling in the US ($12.99 total for each shirt).  For Canadian orders, please add $5.00 shipping and fondling for each shirt ($14.99 total each shirt ordered).

Each T-shirt is available in a variety of sizes up to XXXL, please include $1.00 USD additional for each size over XXL that you desire.  Inquire by email for special sizing (like if I have to steal a circus tent, which while not impossible, will just take some time to do).

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SUPPORT YOUR ATTITUDE!   DESIGN YOUR OWN SHIRT!

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CHOOSE YOUR FRONT LOGO FROM TWO DESIGNS

"BE" Signature front logo (F1)

Each shirt comes with your choice of a single front logo, each logo shown approximate size

"American Angst" front logo   (F2)

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REAR LOGO DESIGNS

Each shirt will also incorporate a single rear logo of your choice.
Select from the following available designs.

More designs to be added soon.

SPECIAL ED	LIFE EDGE	BIG DIFFERENCE
B1	B2	B3
MY TOY	TOO OLD	FAST LOOKS
B4	B5	B6
FAST ENOUGH	THE MOST	CAN'T RIDE
B7	B8	B9
RIDE FAST	LOUD PIPES	THE INFAMOUS RANT FROM HELL*
B10	B11**	B12
The "PG-13" version of the rant	RIDE METRIC
B13	B14

*  THE INFAMOUS RANT FROM HELL- This particular little bit of spirited verbosity was actually screamed at the top of my lungs at a poser Harley rider who pulled up next to me in heavy traffic way back in 1996.  I was having a really bad day and this ass clown had decided that it was his personal goal to make my day just a little bit worse.  After he revved his engine several times (damn open pipes do wonders for already splitting headaches, especially when they are just five feet away), this retard then proceeded to shout detrimental comment after detrimental comment that ranged from how I was dressed to what colors my bike came from the factory with.  When he chose to use the words "gay" and "Power Ranger" in the same sentence in a unique description of how the colors of my bike, leathers, and helmet all coordinated (green, white, and purple), that was, as they say, all she wrote.  

I slowly reached up, removed my Ray Ban Aviators, undid the quick release on my HJC helmet, slowly removed the helmet, set the helmet on the gas tank, ran my gloved hand over my close cropped hair, put my Ray Bans back on, and turned my head slowly to stare at the poor son of a bitch.  I guess he saw his reflection in the Aviators because he looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a Mack truck and he was totally unprepared for the barrage that I unleashed upon him.   The words that I screamed at him, at the top of my lungs, right there in public, are now on the back of this T-shirt.  Needless to say I verbally tore this scoggin's head off and shoved what little was left of his ego up his ass sideways right there at the longest red light in eternity.

I then slowly took off my Ray Bans, put my HJC helmet back on, clicked the quick release strap back together, put my Ray Bans back on through the helmet, and stared straight ahead waiting on the light to change.   There was dead silence for what seemed an eternity, then the cheering and cat-calls began.  The Rant From Hell was met with applause, whistles, and honks from the motorists around me who had heard what I had told the poor son of a bitch. 

This was one of the few times that I've actually made a Harley rider cry in public and the dumbass redneck quickly rode off when the light changed, turning down a side street to get away from all the laughing and pointing motorists at the first opportunity.

Surprisingly, I felt much better after saying all that and the rest of the day wasn't half bad.

** Thanks, Keith!

REAR DESIGNS

These rear logos are not small designs (like anything about me or what I do could ever be considered 'small' ... hah!)
Letters and text are also black with red outlines around them for added impact.

See for yourself!

   

    Rear logos are almost full back in length and width, very easy to read.

EACH DESIGN IS CERTAIN TO GET YOU NOTICED BY THE KNUCKLE DRAGGING
INBRED REDNECK STUMP FUCK HILL SCOGGINS !

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BLACK ECHO SIGNATURE SERIES T-shirts- These shirts feature my characteristic logo and the website URL on the front left breast, and a much larger version of the logo on the rear. The rear BE logo also includes the quote "Pendere Et Illegitimi Non Carborundum", Latin for "Don't let the bastards get you down" and the website URL on the back.

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BE SIGNATURE SERIES FRONT LOGO SHOWN APPROXIMATELY ACTUAL SIZE

BE SIGNATURE SERIES
REAR LOGO



REAR LOGO IS VERY LARGE AND FILLS A GOOD AMOUNT OF THE REAR OF THE SHIRT
VERY EASY TO READ AND BE NOTICED.

SIGNATURE SERIES T-SHIRT $10.99 plus $3.00 shipping and fondling ($5.00 to Canada)
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ACCEPTED METHODS OF PAYMENT AND OPTIONS

PAYMENT- FOR T-SHIRTS, I ACCEPT PERSONAL CHECKS, CASHIER'S CHECKS, OR MONEY ORDERS. YOU MAY PAY ME THROUGH THE PAY PAL SERVICE AS WELL, USING BLACKECHO@GOINGFASTER.COM AS THE RECEIVING PARTY.

For EACH shirt ordered, PLEASE state either F1 or F2 for your choice of front logo, and B1 to B7 for your choice of rear logo on each shirt.  Please also specify size and quantity of each shirt.

PRICE- Each shirt is priced at $9.99 plus $3.00 shipping and fondling within the continental United States or $5.00 for shipping to Canada (you guys are not cheap to ship to, eh?).

Sizes over XXL are available, please add additional $1.00 USD to the order (but no extra to shipping) for each size past XXL.

Please inquire via Email for bulk orders, custom graphics, discount pricing on volume orders or if you have any questions.

Send cash at your own risk, funds must be in USD (United States Dollars). I'm honest (after all, I'm a cop) but I can't vouch for all the people between you and I. Be sure to include your return address and any special shipping instructions. If you would like, I'll even autograph your shirt for free, be sure to include anything special you want me to say and where you want me to write it.

Send personal check, cashier's check, or money order, made payable to CHRISTOPHER T. SHIELDS, to the following address:

Special Performance Online
1117 National Guard Road
Columbia, MS 39429

Please note, if you make the check payable to Special Performance Online, I can't process it.

Please include the following information with your order, I don't care how you get it to me, email, Magic Marker on toilet paper, or if you cut out letters from a newspaper to make it look like a ransom note.  Just please include the following information: phone number (including AREA CODE, I get so tired of going to ALLAREACODES.com and looking up you people's numbers...), and your email address. 

For snail mail orders, if you include your email address, I can inform you when your shirt(s) shipped.  No, I don't spam you and I won't sell your email address to some spamming company.  It's for my benefit and yours in conducting business and is maintained on a strictly confidential basis.  I do not give out email addresses or sell your information, this is just for my contact purposes in case something goes wrong, your shirt is delayed, or your personal check bounces higher than the International Space Station. 

Personal checks are held until they clear.

Please allow up to two weeks from the time I receive your order / payment for production and shipping of your order due to my tremendous work schedule and the sheer volume of shirts that I'm doing by hand.  Other considerations may rear their ugly head, so the delay could be slightly longer, or the time could be shorter.  Yes, it's just me, I do my own work, and I don't have a support staff or an assembly line.

Each shirt is produced one at a time, by me, by hand.

Shipping is via USPS in most instances.   Inquire about any special shipping you might desire.

All shirts come folded tight and packaged in a Zip-Lock bag (to protect it during shipping) with a personal hand signed thank you from me (hey, it might be worth something one day, perhaps you could even sell it on Ebay...).  The shirts are also shipped in Ty-Vec mailers for added protection.

International orders are always welcome, and discounts on group orders are available.

Please try to convert sizes into US standard or English, if you can't, err on the side of caution and guess one size larger.  For starters, I'm 5'12", 200 pounds, and I find a XL shirt to be the most comfortable. I grew out of a large size about 40 pounds ago... and no, I'm not fat.

Thank you for the support and for the opportunity to do business. I hope you enjoy this product as much as I do and yes, I actually wear these products out in public myself. I don't sell a design until I've worn it in public and judged its impact.

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