You Might Be A S.Q.U.I.D.  (Some Quick Unimportant Immature Dumbass) If ...

Here's a handy guide to SQUID spotting. Are YOU a SQUID? Could you be considered a SQUID by other bikers? Take the following test and find out ... If you say "Hey! That's what I do !" to more than a few of these statements, you're in serious trouble!  Rehabilitation isn't out of the question, it just takes a lot of effort and a lot of maturity on your part.

You might be a SQUID if:


"You have to stop on the shoulder of an ON Ramp to unstrap the helmet from the side of your bike and actually put it on, because obviously Highway riding is so much more dangerous than riding down the street.  I stopped with a kid who did this yesterday while cars were zipping by us at 60mph."





- Two words: furred bike



"You ride around with your full face helmet stuck on top of your head in such a way that the
chin bar is resting squarely above your eyebrows.-Christopher T. Shields


You ride in sandals

You bad mouth all "other" brands of bikes (and have never ridden them)

You tell anyone you have gone 160 on the street

Your "racing" jacket is from Wal-Mart.

You think Arai is Jamaican for OK

You don't have a clue what a Buell is

You bought a Sport bike and put saddlebags and a sissy bar on it so you can go to Sturgis.

You keep fouling plugs riding with the choke on

You have Harley stickers on your car and ride a Rebel

Your Mom and Dad won't ride with you

There is a crack in your helmet

You helmet is the wrong size

You ride with ANY safety features on your bike not working

You have a cup holder duct taped to your handlebars.

- Jim Griffiss


You have a fuel injected bike with a DynoJet / Factory Jet kit sticker

– Chang H. Chung


You install race compound tires yet most of your rides consist of 10 minute jaunts across town in gridlock.

You grind down the feelers under the foot pegs with a bench grinder so people will think you can REALLY corner.

You're 100 lbs. overweight and complain that your bike just can't seem to hold that inside line.

You drive out of state to ride someplace where helmet laws aren't enforced.

Your rear sprocket closely resembles a radial saw blade.

Your brakes let out a spine tingling squeal every time you come to a stop at an intersection

You have all of your "sponsors" decals on your bike and patches on your leathers.

You've just installed a full titanium exhaust, racing cams, ported & polished the cylinder head, and K&N air filter on you new GSXR-1000, but for the life of you can't figure what happened to the choke knob on the dash.

You study those wacky British street bike magazines for articles on how to do stoppies, burnouts and wheelies. Yet the shop manual for your bike is still yet to be opened.

You installed a dry brake system on your gas tank because Team Yoshimura Suzuki used one at Daytona.

You don't use an O-ring chain.

You wear leathers with your name and number across the back, except you're not a racer.

Your helmet has a well known cartoon character on in.

You ever parked your bike on asphalt on a hot summer day and the kickstand dug into the soft pavement causing your bike to fall over.

Your helmet looks like standard issue for the 3rd Reich.

Your safety gear in the summer consists of a tank top, shorts and tennis shoes.

- Kazbek Khumush


if you ever removed the gas cap bolts to reduce weight.

–Derek Buetow