The Ghetto-Stang(tm)

Well there is ugly and then there is fugly (f**king ugly).  This car is way south of downright fugly and it isn't ever coming back.  Here are some pictures I took while I was on the road.  I saw this abomination come past me and reached for my camera.  Curses!  It wasn't there.  So, shadowing this incredible monstrosity through traffic, luck rewarded me with the owner pulling into a strip mall.   The strip mall had a cheap retail outlet / general store located in it and I ran in, grabbing a disposable camera, and ran back out.  Sneaking up on my prey, I approached the owner, explained that I thought his car was 'def' and 'fly' and 'da bomb' and all the other ghetto lingo, and asked his permission to take pictures.  He readily agreed.  And here they are.  Sorry for the quality, it was, after all, a disposable camera and if it hadn't been for a $5.00 disposable camera, you might not have been able to see this ugly Stang.  Words and simple description cannot do justice to it.

Just one more reason to ban rap music...  Nothing says "whigger" like a white boy Ghetto-Stang(tm).  Someone buy this kid a Honda, and give the Mustang to someone who will nurse it back to health and appreciate it, IF it can be nursed back to health.  I think it's too far gone for anything other than the scrap yard.


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Decals are a direct substitute for horsepower and if that was true, this poor piece of junk would be setting new land speed records!  Check out, WTF?!  Let's see... there is the number "55" on each door.  The crossed flags are questionable, and the NEUSPEED logo across the windshield made me laugh out loud.  On the side of the door, below the contrasting yellow painted mirror, we find, listed in order of appearance; NOVA SIGN, DC MOTORSPORTS, EIBACH SPRINGS, BOSSAL BROSPEED, and finally a NAPA emblem.  Yes, that is a yellow "FORD" emblem on the roof, in the middle of the giant two piece yellow racing stripe.  Not visible in this picture but seen below is a giant GREDDY decal located at an angle on the other side of the hood.  The rear tire is a 'doughnut' spare.  In fact, this car rode on four doughnut spare tires.  I guess that was a fashion statement as it couldn't be a intelligence statement.  Having a car set up for autocross (given the decals present) and running doughnut spares isn't the smartest strategy in the world for winning autocross.  But they just look so damn cool!  That is, until we can get some adaptors to mount some 19" chrome rims that stick 3" out from the fenders with that oh so wrong but oh so fly camber adjustment.

The "CAUTION" sign in the window is actually an industrial sign taped there with Scotch-Gard tape.  It says "CAUTION: HEARING PROTECTION MUST BE WORN"  I think a notice on this car should read "CAUTION: VISION PROTECTION MUST BE WORN" because it just plain hurts to look at this Mustang.

Bonus points if you noticed the artfully bent radio antenna, and the mono-wiper blade setup. 


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Sorry for the bad quality, again, disposable camera and a flash that was intermittent at best.  This view simply illustrates the same decals as found on the passenter side, some yellow cushions on a roll cage that was installed in the rear, a better view of the aforementioned "GREDDY" decal on the hood, a "NOPI" decal on the driver's front fender, and ... yes, two off road driving lights mounted side by side on the front bumper in the middle.  Not kidding.

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More of that hideous yellow interior to show you that it looks like someone threw Big Bird in a blender, hit [LIQUIFY] and then took a Wagner Power Sprayer and applied a thick coat of Yellow Ugly Number Five Five to this poor car.   Notice the roll bar in the rear window.  Look out!  This car is packing a 150 horsepower NOS sticker!  I never did see a NOS bottle, maybe it was in the trunk.   The rear seat was subwoofers and stereo equipment.  This was apparently a V6 car to boot. 

My God... Those panties were huge...  like something you'd find in a Victoria's Secret if they had a Rhinoceros section...  "I like big butts and I cannot lie..."  Deeaaammm!  Not THAT big!  Shiii!  If the chick who those panties belonged to ever backed up, you'd hear a beeping sound.

The driver's name was Jason Eckles.  If you put your name on your car and create something like this for the world to see, I'm only happy to oblige you.  If you know this boy, pity him.  And buy him a Marilyn Manson CD.   The pure cosmic evil of Manson might just neutralize the insipid inherent 'N-SYNC'-ness of this riced out whigger rigged Ghetto-Stang(tm).

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Notice the characteristic coffee can exhaust, the clear tail lights, and THIS is new... a nuclear radiation triad!  If this car is powered by nuclear energy, why does it need NOS nitrous oxide?  The personalized tag read "LIFTD4U", which I guess means "Lifted For You".  Bad pic, cheap camera.

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Another glamor shot.  Like you could dress up ugly...

Why don't they make clear third brake light lenses?

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Front / side profile.  Notice the doughnut spares with plain metal rims, which look great with the Ghetto-Stang(tm)'s overall lowered high performance stance.  The contact patch that those doughnut spare rims put against the road surface must help transmit all of that awesome power he's developing and really help the car hook up.  Remember, with an onboard nuclear power source, you're going to need all the rubber and traction you can get.  We also find another NOPI decal, and the side marker indicators (where I think the running horse emblem would be on a non-V8 powered car...).  The radiation triad on the front along with the twin off-road driving lights makes you think twice about lining up against this speed machine!  I was starting to wonder if the wheels rotated down and out and it flew like the Delorean in "Back to the Future"...

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Hey!  Cool!  Clear headlights!  Oh, wait, those are supposed to be that way.  Well, I'm not sure what the "SUPRA" emblem is doing below the driver's side headlamp, but the twin off-road driving lights with wire mesh stone guards somehow give this car an overall 'Road Warrior Prop That Was Never Used' look to it, don't you think.  And remember, it's nuclear powered.  Or maybe just the stereo is...  Those crossed flags are to warn anyone who might run up the hood that they should stop at the windshield.  Of course, with the crossed flags on the outside, and that giant pair of yellow panties hanging from the rear view mirror in the inside, seeing out the middle of this windshield is going to be next to impossible.   Oh, yeah, when this thing ran past me on the highway, it sounded like a constipated bumble bee.  Everything on this car was whigger-rigged.

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Black on yellow.  Check out the attention to detail.   There's a gauge pod on the C-pillar mount.  The owner's name is done in script above the driver's side door, and the yellow panties add a certain manly touch, one that says that the driver isn't afraid to show his feminine side.  The panties were quite large, way past the size that most guys would brag about conquering, but I guess that someone really likes for the flygirls to back that phat bumper on up.  That or only ugly desperate fat chicks would ever be caught being seen in a car as whigger-rigged as this joke.

Unreal.  What is the next modification that you will see on this car?   How about tires and wheels that poke out the sides and make the whole thing look like a clown version of the moon buggy.