Short takes on the crap I see when I'm behind the wheel

Local rode in Columbia ... it probably dead ends at the bottom of Brokeback Mountain road and I've heard that it's slippery when wet.

WTF is a "Cheeseburger God" ?!?!

Kangaroo fuel stop on Hwy 98 West, at the intersection of 98 and hwy 13 South

I've heard of eating your words before but ...

SONIC, near 4th street, H'burg

I get so tired of all of the religious nuts in the world thinking that it is some kind of divine miracle if they see the face of Jesus or the Virgin Mary in something mundane like a piece of bread or a water stain on an underpass.  I see the face of Christ every morning that I drive my '86 Trans Am.  Water running off the roof of the car (from dew) trails down around the rear high center mount brake light, gets caught in the turbulence and etches faces in the condensation on the rear window.  Here's the image of Jesus wearing mirrored Ray Bans and smoking a Marlboro.  Sometimes the "face" that it makes is pretty damn scary but this morning it looked a lot like a very loving Jesus (or maybe Barry Gibb after a two day drinking binge).  I guess if I ever need any extra money, I could always take out my rear window and sell it on Ebay...

Pearl River county, MS resident.  They're "special" down that way (kind of like hillbillies, just without all the hills).

I wonder if "Maw-Maw" or "Coo-Coo" (as in "crazy"?) could read my mind
 and know that I was laughing my ass off at them?


"Huh?" - Oak Grove, Lamar County.  Nuff said.


Billboard in Gulfport, MS advertising Fallen Oaks golf course.
Who knew that golf could forcibly instigate the onset of puberty?


Eating dir-tay at Shoney's in H'burg.


A pair of very different street signs.


Yes, they're real.  Both are located near the AL state line in MS.


Some graffiti on one of our signs.

I can't argue with the logic behind this bit of vandalism.


Proving once and for all that putting a Camaro front cap on a Firebird body
or vice-versa will and does look like complete ass.

Camaro nose and fenders.  Z28 hood.  Firebird body and rear clip.
Looks like ass.  Drives like ass.

Found outside a bar on the side of Highway 49 South. 
I think that hard liquor and meth were heavily involved in this asinine project.

I remember a discussion many, many years ago on thirdgen.org where someone was asking if they should do this.  I was saddened at the amount of positive replies to the thread.  I voted no and said it would look like ass.  These pictures prove it.  Perhaps this car belongs to the redneck who started that thread oh so long ago.  Maybe once he got finished with his project, he finally understood what people were trying to tell him and now all  he does is ride around in this four wheeled example of failure and drink until he passes out.


Don't worry, folks.  The child is securely strapped in the stroller...

And you wonder why I make fun of people from Lamar county ...


Why personalized tags should require IQ tests before being issued.

I guess he paid for that tag in case he forgets what kind of car he's driving.  I say this because the "TT" on the left side and the "AUDI" on the right side may one day fall off and the only way he could possibly know what kind of car he drove was if he got out and looked at his tag.


"You will be assimilated.  Resistance is futile.  Prepare to squeal like a pig, boy.  Yee-haw."


And I thought they only had that orange flavor... it must be an "acquired taste."

Don't gargle.


"What the ... !?"

"WHAT THE ...!?!?"

I loathe the human race.  I really do.


When "Boys in the Hood" meets "Kung-Fu" meets "Hee-Haw."

I bet it tastes like ass ...

Burger King, Turtle Creek Mall, Hattiesburg, MS.


A whigger / ricer's wet dream come true...

Rent to own rimz!?  Now why didn't I think of that?  I could have been making money off of these baggy pants wearing idiots for years!!  Doh!


Well, I guess this is one way to get both tags on your car in states that require you to have two license plates.  The second lower tag pretty much sums up my first thought when this thing rumbled by in traffic.  "Buckle up with Jesus"?  Why?  Is Jesus a bad driver or does He just like to go really fast?


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This one needs no other title than just "STUPID!"  The two vehicles were piggy-backed on a car hauler with a single chain.  Any good acceleration or braking caused the whole pile to rock dangerously back and forth and side to side.  I guess this guy might think about adding a few extra chains after his load falls off sideways on a family in a minivan and crushes them and the survivors sue him back into living in a cardboard outhouse.  Idiot...


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Not sure WHAT this car is...  It is definitely going through an identity crisis.  Is it mutating?  Is it going to be a TA or a Formula when it gets done molting?  The guy who owned it told me he used to have a 350 TPI in the car but he took that out because the 305 TPI was a much faster motor...  Ha!  This is the FIRST sighting of a 3rdGen Formula Trans-Am.  Supposedly a VERY rare car.  This is the only one I've seen and there is no other information on it.  One of none ever produced...

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When I was a teenager, I was fortunate enough to own one of the most beautiful black and gold 1979 Pontiac SE Trans-Ams ("Bandit") in the area.  I was cruising one day with the T-tops off and decided to stop to get gas and something to drink at the local station.  After I had filled up and paid for the gas, I stood near my car drinking a Pepsi (which at that time still came in a glass bottle with a metal screw on top).  I saw a young black boy riding his bike around the parking lot and he looked at my car.  He couldn't have been more than about 8 years old.   His eyes got wide when he saw the Trans-Am and he rode quickly over to my car, looking at the huge gold bird on the hood.

He whistled, and looked my car over again.

"Man.  I sure do likes your T-bird." he said.

Kids say the darnedest things, you know.