The Best Of Small Town Newspaper Classified Ads


Here is a collection of funny for sale ads related to vehicles that I find locally.  Everyone screws up at one time or another, but some of these are whoppers and you wonder what was going on in these people's minds when they wrote these ads or where the proof reader was before copy was!  I will add to this as I get the chance.

NOTE- *ALL* spelling errors are accurate and have been left that way for comic value.


Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned ...

During lunch, I found this retarded gem on page 15 of the August 23, 2007 Penny Pincher

 “Lester, this is Dawn.  Please be assured that I will be getting married no matter what you or my dysfunctional sister have to say.  We might have to go to Canada or Mexico but we will be getting married.  I get what I want and this is very important to me.  Lester, you have a few secrets of your own that you want to keep down low, so watch out!”

God, I love to read these little free sales papers and I always seem to run across this sort of inbred revelry when I’m looking for good deals …  unreal.  And if you don’t believe me, here’s a snapshot of the actual paper and the actual article.



The Twilight Zone Pontiac Firebird Formula

1991 Pontiac Firebird Formula-  Must Sell, Immaculate condition inside and out.  Cold A.C., PS, PW, PDL, Tilt, Cruise.   Automatic.  Factory alarm system.  Le'Bra.  Low mileage. $8000 firm.   must see to appreciate.  Call or leave message.  270-4068.  Serious inquires only.

Well, I have no explanation for this one.  This is an ad that has been running in the local paper, every edition, every week, for several years now.  I know because this ad was in the paper when I purchased my '90 Formula way back in '98 and when I checked the current edition, this ad was still in there!  That makes it five years and counting!  That has to be a record somewhere.  Someone please call this guy and buy this car!  I know it is a small town newspaper, but...  Let's see how many more years this ad will run!  I think I hear the Twilight Zone music starting to play.  IF you are interested, I think the area code is (601).  If it isn't, I can't help you.

I talked to the local newspaper about the ad and they said that they had a special; give them $20 and they'll run your car ad FOREVER or until you sell your car.  Apparently, they aren't smart enough to take this ad out ... They say you have to call and cancel the ad or they will run it FOREVERWith a run of every week for nearly seven years, I guess this person really got their money's worth out of the twenty-bux.

Current status: This ad was finally removed from the local paper sometime early in February 2005, after having run every single week since 1998 and that's when I first saw it which means it could have run for some time even before that. 


1988 Mustang LX- looks fast, loud stereo, very dependable.  Custom decals and hood scoop, chrome wheels.  Classic.  $3600 or make offer.

1995 Camaro- red, 68,000 miles, runs good, needs new motor.   $14,000 firm.

1984 Madza RX7- Wanker rotory  4 cylinder motor, 5 speed, son roof, needs some motor and interior work, just did breaks, some rusts.  $1800 or trade for four wheeler.

Camaro SS 1967, Very Sharp, Boa Tie Engine & Heads, Set up for Drag Raceing, Can be street legal with few changes.  $14,000 Turn Key, $9500 Rolling Chasey.

Chevy Oldsmobile Cierra '95 white / moron int. new tires, air, pl, pw, ps, slight damage to passing side great engine but needs new engine.  $2000.

Ford Mustang Cobra 94, 306 Tremec, forged pestons, runs 12 on drag. Radials $1000.

1985 Z-28 black t-top 350 board 30, 280 cam.  BM shifer 650 elder black chrome wheels.  $2500 neg.

1968 Pontiac PTO.  400, automatic.  Very nice.  Mom's car, need to sell.  $4500 firm.

1971 Chevy Camaro Z28.  350 / auto, loaded.  Frame off restoration.  Runs good.  Some frame damage.  $6500 neg.

1988 Ford GT Mustang.  Very fast, very dependable.  All options.  Needs motor and transmission.  $2000.

1987 Chevy Camaro- Heartbeast of America edition, T-tops, good motors, needs tran.

1980 Datsun 280Z car- great restoration project.  Needs transmission, engine, paint, interior, and suspension. Body is good.  $2000 firm.

1995 Camero Z28- White, LP-1 motor, other stuff too.  Very fast.  Needs tires.  Son's car.  Not abused.