“Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.”
- Laurence J. Peter
 

From:         Tom Corsi tcorsi@sdsdocs.com
To:              me
Subject:     Where do I even start?
Date:          July 17, 2008

Chris,

First off let me just say that I find your humor funny as hell and it has been quite enjoyable these past days reading the tongue lashings coming in & going out on your website. I am a biker. I have been riding, building, fixing, & enjoying riding motorcycles of all types for over 25 years.

I have owned many different kinds of bikes over the years & have never been a Harley snob but more to the point a motorcycle enthusiast with a preference for Harley Davidson motorcycles. I ride with anyone that I consider a good person and safe rider no matter what kind of bike they ride. The insane ramblings of your disdain for Harley Davidson motorcycles is laughable and supposedly comes from 2 times in your life when Harley people said "when you gonna get a real bike" wait wait wait, I know there is more to it than that but I am over simplifying so you can understand what I am going to tell you Jethro because if anyone spent so much time & energy as you have based upon "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" due to what someone said about his/her motorcycle, they should be baker acted.

First off, indulge me a moment and let me address the cop from Mississippi stereotype for a moment because that is just begging to be made fun of. I've been to Mississippi, know people from Mississippi and get a laugh out of that Mississippi southern drawl that makes people sound just a bit more intelligent than a box of rocks ( which I know is just opinion & not fact as I am sure there are many smart people that come from Mississippi that don’t have sex with family members that have contributed to our great country somewhere along the line). I have seen the picture you posted on your website and let me just tell you I laughed so hard I almost peed in my pants. If I need to explain further, you will just never get it anyway you really are a goofy looking putz. Talk about "hill scoggin"… You must be the fucking mayor. Now all that nonsense is just my opinion, I am entitled to it because you put yourself out there as some bad ass verbal terminator/crusader helping all us dumb bastards to see the light about Harley Davidson motorcycles just like I am sure you will give your opinion in the form of a verbal thrashing when/if you respond to this email which will be directed at me because I challenged you.

Let me tell you Chris, I ride a Harley because I choose to, not because I want to be cool. I'm not cool, I don’t even know what that means! I just love the ride I get from the bike you love to bash that’s all there is to it. Stay with me here Chris I promise I will make my point. Your whole retarded tirade of Harley Davidson is not because you are stupid, from Mississippi, or a cop. It's because you are a control freak (ALL COPS ARE…. Its OK) , You've formed an opinion that you are entitled to but you behave like a pissed off woman that got dumped by her man. You know…. All that stuff about a woman scorned… My parallel is the Harley guys giving you shit "get a real bike" just in case you didn’t understand bozo. So couple the scorned woman & the control freak and you get officer Chris T. Shields "Mississippi's finest" (now if that’s not a comedic contradiction in terms what is?) that NEEDS to tell everyone how shitty Harley Davidson is cause he likes speed so he rides a "Rice Rocket" cause they are technologically more advanced, lighter, faster… blah blah blah…. You're the worst kind of control freak because you wont be happy until everyone in your world feels the way you do. You bash everyone else, you're not an elitist, you’re a jerk off.

And let's go over the "rice" slur I made a moment ago. Yeah Yeah Yeah, I know Harley Davidson does have Japanese parts on their "American" motorcycle It's called buying in a world economy. But Harley Davidson is an AMERICAN company Honda is a foreign company that does business in the USA. Don’t give me that Honda USA bullshit, employing Americans crap. Like I said, It's a world economy. Anyone who says they don’t buy anything Japanese is a fucking moron…. You can't help it.

Once, Harley Davidson was ALL made in America, now it's not, GET OVER IT. That has a lot more to do with our government than you would probably care to admit but we will breeze over that for a moment so I don’t confuse you.

Lets not forget officer control freak, Harley Davidson made motorcycles for our troops that were utilized in a World War so they could be more agile and quicker to help defeat the enemy so shitheads like you could sleep like a baby at night and not be forced to speak German or Japanese. No they weren't soldiers but they aided in the war & hold a place in history as a 105 year old company and you bash the same company that produced a motorcycle to aid our troops against the very same fuckers that own the company of the motorcycle you ride. I know, I know its not the same group of people, I get it. But it's like the blacks of today that want "slave reparations" My father nor my grandfather owned slaves so I don’t owe them anything other than respect if you should be a person of color that deserves it based upon the content of your character.

Lets touch on the clothing & Harley Davidson moniker that you incessantly bombard with more 30 I.Q. insults, which, by the way makes you look even more like a scorned woman. Look Chris, I am not going to buy Harley Davidson coffee either cause it comes in a box or can that has a Harley emblem on it. Why would I pay $17.00 for coffee I can buy at the grocery store for $5 unless I like the flavor or I like the Harley Davidson can it comes in and I choose to buy it because I can afford it. Harley Davidson is the fucking KING of "brand awareness" if you don’t know what that means you can look it up on wikipedia. You just love to lump everyone that rides a Harley into the same category which speaks volumes of your ignorant Mississippi limited gene pool existence.

Chris, I must admit right now I own MANY Harley Davidson t-shirts from the many places around the world I have been to and I even own Harley Davidson blue jeans which by the way are designed with a bit more room so when you are in a sitting position to be comfortable on your bike without crushing your nut sack but I'm sure you never had that problem anyway….. Oh wait, in one of your other ramblings you told us how you and your wife get such a laugh out of that but I'm sure you've been getting laughed at that by women for years until you consummated with the lovely Mrs. Shields. By the way does she have her own opinion about anything or do you make her have yours??? Does any other company manufacture that same cut pant for less money & the same quality…. I'm sure the answer is yes but then again it comes down to the opinion you hold that if you like Harley Davidson anything you are a complete "hill scoggin" I'm so glad that whatever powers that be decided you should be the President of what's right & wrong, good & evil etc…

All you hold is an opinion based upon the limited views of you mediocre rice rocket riding Mississippi officer douche bag life.

Look Chris, I defend your right to say & post this crap, this is America but lets not forget what America is about. You do remember freedom & free will. The ability to choose what you want and don’t want…. right ? So what I am saying is that you may be educated & write very well along with having a sharp sense of humor & verbal wit, but are the very "hill scoggin" you detest not based upon your opinions but based upon that anyone else that holds a different opinion is a moron.

Thanks for allowing me a forum to tell you what an asshole you are. Someone should take you behind the V.F.W. and kick the shit out of you.


Tom Corsi (yes that's my real name)




 

_______________

To which I replied

_______________
 

“Where do I even start?”

Of course that was a rhetorical question on Tom’s part but I chuckled at that introduction to his email because it’s a really damn good question for me to ask myself in replying to him as well.   Tom’s email is painfully tedious to read and right off I could tell it was sent by what amounts to a blithering idiot whose only education must have been from his mother mobile home schooling him. The task of reading his email starts off kind of like the onset of a really bad seizure; there’s a polite little introduction to the forthcoming event where your eyes kind of twitch and you start to get this little tremor up your spine then a spasm or two wracks your brain just before the really violent thrashing and spastic contorting begins. Tom’s email finally ends up as little more than a Grand Mal example of complete ignorance and utter stupidity the likes of which you very well could choke on if someone isn’t around to help you when you read his rather vapid electronic rendition of late-term aborted English.

Sadly, Tom has made many very serious mistakes in his email ranging from his erroneous assumptions, his juvenile and ineffectual use of personal insults, his pungent lack of punctuation and grammar, his glaring lack of knowledge of the history of the country he proudly calls home, his comical lack of knowledge of the history of the bike company he worships and supports, his incessant need to draw from urban myth rather than use well established historical fact and even his having to rely heavily on nine different verses of text ( 2, 8, 17, 23, 26, 30, 35, 36, & 44) taken directly from the Milwaukee Orthodoxy to reinforce his preprogrammed lemming point of view … Yes, all of these are Tom Corsi’s many personal failings. However, the biggest mistake of all that he made was …

Can anyone guess?

(insert the “Jeopardy” theme)

Oh, come on!

It’s right there at the very beginning of his email to me!

Ah!

Now you see it, don’t you?

Yes, Tom committed the one cardinal sin that you never, never, never, never, ever, ever, ever, ever do when you send a really badly worded, foul language sprinkled hate filled email to someone that you don't like and that is that Tom somehow thought it was the grandest of  ideas to send this digital example of his personal mental retardation from his corporate business email account at his very own place of employment.

What this legally implies, of course, is that the people Tom works for also share his dimwitted views and that he sent this email with the full permission, faith and backing of the owners and coworkers of the company that employs him. That is why, today, most companies which have email also have the foresight to put a rather broad disclaimer automatically inserted into the end of all of their outgoing emails in order to shield their selves, legally, from the possibility that the kind of employee generated spontaneous stupidity like Tom’s email represents might land them in a whole lot of trouble. Tom’s greatest failing yet is that he sent his email from his place of employment.  No, he didn’t send this email from a business that he owns but rather from the place that he works.

Ouch.

Yes, I think that I could actually hear the collective gasp from my readers as the obvious implications sink in. That’s right! The name “Tom” and the word “duh” both have three letters in them. Is that a coincidence? Probably not because Tom really goes out of his way in his email to prove that he is dumb and I think that the super nice thing about that is he does so right from the very start.

For those of you who are curious about Tom and what he does for a living, you can put a “www” in front of his “@” email address and it takes you right to his place of employment. Now, I have to admit that I didn’t know what “SDS” stood for or what kind of product that this company offered … but I had a few ideas. The first thing that came to mind was that “SDS” might be some form of intimate feminine hygiene product targeted to the market that included female Harley riders. Perhaps “SDS” stood for “Scoggin Deodorant Spray” and if it did then you can bet it would have to be available in super extra pro-industrial strength if the look of the typical skanks on the back of your average Harley are any indication of their level of personal hygiene (or notable lack thereof). So, here is what popped into my mind when I learned that Tom worked for a company called “SDS.” Perhaps the company that he worked for made this Harley oriented intimate feminine hygiene product:

Scoggin Deodorant Spray
can also be used as an engine degreaser / carburetor cleaner / starter fluid

“Strong enough for a Sasquatch in heat but made for
a Harley riding, cheap white trash, lot lizard wannabe."
___________________________________________________
 
Full set of teeth and / or high school equivalent education not required for
product use but may help with opening of product package after purchase.
 

Sadly, “SDS” doesn’t make feminine hygiene products targeted to either horny Sasquatches or slovenly inbred hillbilly women with odious personal hygiene habits. No, “SDS” stands for Southeastern Document Services and apparently they specialize in, well, document services for prestigious law firms, doctors’ offices, and the like. What this means is that “SDS” is kind of like “Kinko’s” only probably a lot pricier and with a far more select clientele.

“SDS” has an okay website that’s fairly easy to navigate but not very informative (or deep in content). The fact that there are only two office locations listed in Florida might lend the website visitor to believe that “SDS” is a small family owned company.  The fact that a small company like "SDS" is willing to employ someone like Tom clearly indicates that they still have a lot to learn about hiring qualified workers let alone what to look for in potential job applicants.  After all, given the content of his email (and the fact that he sent it from his work place), it's rather evident that Tom wasn't hired based on his IQ.

Perhaps the human resource department at “SDS” should, in the future, ask each potential job applicant for an IQ score (or at least require a valid high school education (not just a GED)) before considering the potential applicant for any advertised position.  However, I'd like to save the good people at the "SDS" HR department a lot of trouble, effort and time in the future and share with them my sincere belief that if the applicant rides a Harley, has a HD tattoo or walks in wearing a HD T-shirt  then it's a pretty safe bet to say that "SDS" can already file that person's resume / application in the garbage and move on to interviewing the next applicant in line. In other words, nothing says ...

“... I am a total failure as a human being and a habitual loser whose woefully pathetic existence revolves solely around a make-believe commercially pandered prepackaged fairy-tale lifestyle because I'm too stupid to figure out how to have a life of my very own ...”

... than owning or riding a Harley Davidson and what company can really afford to hire and employ such obvious pre-existing miscarriages of intellect like Tom these days in the modern competitive marketplace?  After all, the reason that it is called “payroll” is the same reason that it is not called “charity” and in Tom’s case, given the intellectual content of his email, you can pretty much understand that the only reason he actually is currently employed with “SDS” is because someone there took pity on him and / or simply felt sorry for him.

The nice thing about the “SDS” website is that if you look under the ubiquitous “Contact Us” tab, you will discover that Tom Corsi is indeed verified as an employee of “SDS” and that he is listed as being their Sales Manager.   His contact information (as well as the contact information for all of his coworkers from the bottom of the corporate ladder all the way to the very tippy top) is also clearly posted on the site.

Having a few free minutes of time, I was able to browse through the Florida based corporation’s website and soon discovered that “SDS” currently has a career opening for an “Account Manager” on their “Career Opportunities” page. Now, if Tom’s bosses (and the company owners), the McKee brothers, ever get a chance to read this email that was sent using corporate owned resources by one of their less than genius employees then that corporate webpage in particular may just be updated rather shortly as well.

Let me explain why …

I have a very good idea that when the two McKee brothers hear about the existence of this page and they read what one of their employees transcribed to me then their first thought is going to be that Tom really should have been doing far more important things on paid company time than surfing the Internet looking for Harley Davidson websites, browsing shiny accessories for his silly little chrome plated “potato-potato” mewling Milwaukee built copy of a Sybian, somehow discovering my website by accident or through a forum link and then spending hour upon hour reading through all of the material on my site (while learning absolutely nothing at all from the mistakes of the idiots who came before him). The McKee brothers will then wonder (and rightly so) why Tom thought it would be a tremendously great idea to send a badly worded, grammar and punctuation poor, profanity and hate filled email to a complete stranger on their dollar (especially when that email was encapsulated within a corporate sponsored, corporation representing, corporate owned dedicated digital open communication vehicle like the “SDS” addressed email server and carried their good company name and reputation along with it).

My second thought is that when the McKee brothers get finished picking their individual jaws up off of their rich mahogany crafted managerial desktops that there might just be a “Sales Manager” position coming open as well and a whole lot sooner than you might think. Yes, get those resumes ready, mateys and be sure to keep checking the SDS “career opportunities” page because there’s a good chance of employment ahoy for those who have a background in sales and would be willing to relocate to Southeastern Document Services’ Tampa or Saint Petersburg corporate offices down in sunny old Florida.

If you hurry, why, Tom may even leave the seat still warm for you.

Sigh.

You just can’t beat Harley owners for being dumb, folks and Tom here is as about as dumb as a drag chute on a tampon.

Now, with all of that prefaced, let me explain that I normally don’t enjoy getting emails from vacuous skulled, knuckle dragging, odious lard-tard, butt muppets like Tom because it clearly indicates that the decline of our once great society is not only continuing unabated but that the decline may actually be accelerating as well and people like Tom are clearly the catalysts for that unwelcome change. People like Tom are human sponges for stupidity; they soak stupidity up in one place then go and wring it out in another. Tom likes to think that he is a unique individual with original thoughts all of his own as well as a personal motorcycle preference that is based on years of self-claimed so-called riding experience but his email quickly proves that just the opposite is true in regards to the pretend life that he leads.

Most of Tom’s email is composed of silly yet ineffectual personal attacks carried out on about a fifth grade level and applied in a haphazard manner.  He uses personal attacks for the same reason that any Harley owner uses personal attacks and insults; he has no facts to back up his arguments and he can't refute history or the proven facts that I present.  Tom substitutes emotion for logic, fantasy for fact and intersperses his personal attacks with instances of easily refutable dealer-installed pagan logic taken right from the Milwaukee Orthodoxy. Now, if we strip all of those personal attacks off we’re left with a few good chunks of comedic content to sort through. Not many good chunks of comedic content but a few so let’s see what we have to work with. In essence we’re panning for stupidity and Tom’s email pretty much guarantees that we’ll find gold in short order … fool’s gold but gold nonetheless.

Let’s begin wading through this Harley owning redneck’s easily refutable yet deliciously ridiculous ranting, shall we?

Chris

First off let me just say that I find your humor funny as hell and it has been quite enjoyable these past days reading the tongue lashings coming in & going out on your website.

We call that “damning with faint praise”, folks. It’s the windup before the pitch for Tom’s sucker ball.

I am a biker. I have been riding, building, fixing, & enjoying riding motorcycles of all types for over 25 years.

I hate to tell Tom this but I’ve got a good four years more motorcycling experience on tap than he does and I’m still counting. Of course, if Tom had spent all of that time that he claims to have spent riding quality built motorcycles instead of the chrome plated fashion driven dildo yachts that Milwaukee sells then he probably could have left out the “building and fixing” part altogether and would therefore have had a lot more time to spend on the “enjoying riding” aspect of motorcycling.  My first motorcycle was a Honda.  My current motorcycle is a Honda.  In 29 years, I have owned four Hondas and not one of them ever left me stranded on the side of the road, had a part fall off while I was riding or required anything other than regular scheduled maintenance. 

I doubt if Tom can claim the same record of performance on the bikes that he's owned.

I have owned many different kinds of bikes over the years & have never been a Harley snob but more to the point a motorcycle enthusiast with a preference for Harley Davidson motorcycles.

In hindsight, I find the two opening paragraphs of Tom's email both disturbing and humorous at the same time and let me explain that unique clarity for you, dear reader. What I find disturbing is that in over a quarter of a century of riding experience on what he calls “many different kinds of bikes” Tom still doesn’t seem to be able to discern the difference between high quality and utter crap which, of course, is why he is not only drawn to but also owns and rides a Harley Davidson. What I find humorous is that he claims that he is a "motorcycle enthusiast with a preference for Harley Davidson motorcycles" but then that’s tantamount to Tom claiming to be a highly experienced lover with a preference for banging mentally retarded, paraplegic women.

I ride with anyone that I consider a good person and safe rider no matter what kind of bike they ride.

I ride alone.

Always have, always will. 

Riding alone is just a regular part of the natural born loner / deep misanthropic nature of my character. I go where I want, when I want with no one to answer to or wait on when I do. I find it makes for the best motorcycle experiences. After all, freedom is a trait of stalwart individuals not a pre-arranged group activity.  

For me, one’s company and two’s a crowd. 

Always has been, always will be.

The insane ramblings of your disdain for Harley Davidson motorcycles is laughable and supposedly comes from 2 times in your life when Harley people said "when you gonna get a real bike" wait wait wait, I know there is more to it than that but I am over simplifying so you can understand what I am going to tell you Jethro because if anyone spent so much time & energy as you have based upon "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" due to what someone said about his/her motorcycle, they should be baker acted.

Tom thinks that he is oversimplifying but what he is really doing is just getting it all wrong right from the start and in doing so it becomes rather obvious that reading comprehension just isn’t one of Mr. Corsi’s superpowers. My website is not about what some ignorant hillbilly once said about my import sport bike (though that curious bit of stumpfuck logic is what initially got me interested in researching and investigating the pop culture myth that surrounds Harley Davidson) … No, my website exists only to humorously document the many historical failures of America’s so-called “greatest” motorcycle manufacturer, the subsequent failures of the pre-programmed brand worshipping automatons who follow the sad pagan religion that HD has become and to have a whole galaxy of fun in doing so.  Once you look past the ludicrous fairytale that Harley Davidson has craftily spun about itself (especially in the last three decades) all in order to stay alive, it quickly becomes apparent just what a tremendous (and sad) joke The Motor Company really is and what a bunch of self-made subscription based losers its customer base actually consists of. Overall, my website is a hobby and a rather entertaining one at that because it allows me to study and research so many subjects which I hold dear; geography, American and world history, mechanics, motorcycles, engineering, world class competition, technology, science, philosophy and psychology.

Tom further erroneously believes that I devote a lot of energy and time to my website. Now, I know it’s hard for someone of Tom’s severely stunted intellect to read more than a paragraph or two at a time (let alone to actually comprehend what he reads) but let me explain it again for the bazillionth time… while it may take a retard like Tom hours on end of nose picking, head scratching, furrowed brow concentration to read a few pages of one of my replies it does not necessarily take me hours on end to compose one of my replies to such a premeditated retard like Tom.

First off, indulge me a moment and let me address the cop from Mississippi stereotype for a moment because that is just begging to be made fun of. I've been to Mississippi, know people from Mississippi and get a laugh out of that Mississippi southern drawl that makes people sound just a bit more intelligent than a box of rocks ( which I know is just opinion & not fact as I am sure there are many smart people that come from Mississippi that don’t have sex with family members that have contributed to our great country somewhere along the line).

It’s sad when someone like Tom bases his opinions of Southern law enforcement officials solely on what he’s seen on television shows like “In the Heat of the Night,” "The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo," and "The Dukes of Hazzard."  Yes, what the rest of the human race calls “entertainment” Tom is oft to think of as a “documentary”.  It’s even sadder when Tom has failed to realize that law enforcement isn’t my primary profession but then it would probably shock him to learn that I’m smart enough to be a career IT professional and tough enough to be a cop all in the same life.   During the day, I effortlessly work with technology that would make Tom’s head swim. At night, when I wear a badge, I effortlessly deal with sub-par malcontent cretins like Tom.

Tom quickly launches into a blistering (blithering?) fusillade of ineffectual but nonetheless increasingly humorous personal attacks which include my physical appearance, the state I live in, how the good people of my state talk, and even how the good people of my state supposedly choose to reproduce. He also admits that while he does understand that somewhere along the line Mississippians did contribute something or other significant to American history he can’t really tell us what those contributions might be. It’s not that Tom is forgetful of Mississippi’s many great contributions to the fabric of American history so much so as he is just completely ignorant of those many great contributions, as most uneducated people like Tom usually are. Tom's choice in motorcycles coupled with his knowledge of my profession and the state where I live quickly shows you that Tom not only doesn't think very much for himself but that he's quite happy to let other people tell him what to think. Tom further claims that he’s been to Mississippi before but it’s rather evident that he didn’t stay very long let alone learn anything while he was here.

What is really interesting is that someone from the state of Florida thinks that they can make fun of the great state of Mississippi or the many fine people who live here and in regard to that silly notion I’ve got just two words for Tom: Election 2000.  Yes, folks, the year 2000 was when the sunny state of Florida held not only the rest of the country (and subsequently the world) needlessly waiting on the outcome of that all too important election but it was the time when the people of Florida proved that they were clearly too stupid to ever be included in something as complicated as punching a hole in the correct place on a piece of paper or anything as important as electing the leader of the greatest, most powerful nation on the planet.

I have seen the picture you posted on your website and let me just tell you I laughed so hard I almost peed in my pants. If I need to explain further, you will just never get it anyway you really are a goofy looking putz. Talk about "hill scoggin"… You must be the fucking mayor. Now all that nonsense is just my opinion, I am entitled to it because you put yourself out there as some bad ass verbal terminator/crusader helping all us dumb bastards to see the light about Harley Davidson motorcycles just like I am sure you will give your opinion in the form of a verbal thrashing when/if you respond to this email which will be directed at me because I challenged you.

Hmmm.

I was unaware that whether I was right or wrong about Harley Davidson depended so much upon what I physically looked like but then, unlike Tom here, I actually live in a world that is driven by facts rather than image.  Why would Tom make fun of my appearance rather than argue the facts that I present?  That's an easy question to answer.  Tom really can’t refute the facts and figures that I post about his beloved moped company so the best retort that he can come up with is “Oh yeah? Well … you may be completely right about Harley Davidson but you’re funny looking so there, Mr. I Hate Harley Davidson Smarty Pants Dumb Ass Cop. Neh neh nee neh neh.”

Now, if I remember correctly, the picture of me that Tom is referring to was posted probably about three years ago pre-Hurricane Katrina. At that time, when I posted the picture, I included the caption with the picture that if I got any uglier, I would have to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink. I believe that I also compared my butt ugly,  full beard and close cropped hair mug shot to that of Hasbro's classic 12" G.I. Joe figure line from the 1970's, even going so far as to joke that I grew up to look just like my favorite childhood toy.  Since then, I have completely shaved my head (dry shave, twice daily) and shorn my once full length beard down to a simple close cropped goatee. If you thought I was ugly looking before … sheesh. 

Take a look at this scary pic!  Why, I've gone from looking like a 1974 Hasbro 12" "G. I. Joe" Adventure Team doll to looking like Sid Haig ... !!!

Christopher T. Shields
aka The Dark One
Creator, Host and Guide of
American Angst

The fact is, folks, that I’m so ugly now that I actually have to pay my wife to have sex with me and that's saying something since I'm the first to admit that I went and married me a some kind of powerful ugly old swamp witch who would probably leave me the first chance she got if I hadn't had the foresight to take the spark plug out of her broomstick and hide it in a place where she can't find it.

You see, folks, you can’t say stuff like that about yourself if you aren’t completely comfortable with who you are, what you look like and how you live your life.  

One of the things that people find amazing about me is how confident I am in who I am and what I am.  The amount of self confidence that I exude surprises people because they've never met someone as strongly independent, self confident or as strong willed as I am.  When people like Tom try to insult me for my physical appearance, when they try to insult my professions, my family, my state, or whatever it is that they think they can attack me with then they have about as much chance of hurting my feelings or making me angry as they do of hurting an M1A1 Abrams main battle tank with a pink feather duster. It’s a waste of their time and energy on their part to be sure but it does make me laugh when they do it because their easily predictable behavior only goes to further illustrate the irrefutable proof that when you’re dealing with the typical HD owner you really are dealing with someone operating on about a fifth grade mindset and level of maturity ... at best.  It also goes to prove that when it comes to Harley Davidson, image is everything (even truth).

Now, there are two funny parts to this particular section of Tom’s email as well. The first funny part is where Tom thinks that my website exists to enlighten, perhaps even to somehow reform wayward Harley owners … to clearly show them the many errors of their ways or to otherwise save them in the nick of time from their technological ignorance and certain, pending financial doom.

Bwahahahahahahaha!

Perish the thought because such nonsense couldn’t be farther from the truth! My website doesn’t exist to help or rehabilitate existing Harley owners. Hell, if you’re stupid enough to own a Harley in the first place then that automatically makes you one of the dumbest things to ever fall completely uninvited out of a vagina.  No, my website exists to make fun of Harley owners and the Motor Company at every opportunity that they frequently give me and to proudly show the world just how dumb and gullible fecal robbing rectum burglars like Tom really are.

Tom thinks that I'm trying to come off as some "bad ass verbal terminator / crusader" but nothing could be further from the truth.  If I'm anything then I'm a teacher and a rather patient, understanding one at that (unless, of course, you're an idiot like Tom then I have no patience whatsoever with idiots either in my email or in real life).  I don't want to beat my opinion into your skull, I want to present facts and figures and do so in a way that is both entertaining and enlightening.  What you do with the information and facts that I provide is entirely up to you.

The second funny part is when Tom actually thinks that he has somehow challenged me.

Allow me to address you directly and to be as succinct as I possibly can about this Mr. Corsi; you haven’t challenged me, you aren’t challenging me and you never will be able to challenge me simply because you completely lack the raw mental horsepower and intellectual torque to ever do so. It’s quite evident from your email that when your parents had you circumcised at birth that the doctor obviously removed and casually discarded the smartest part.

Let me tell you Chris, I ride a Harley because I choose to, not because I want to be cool. I'm not cool, I don’t even know what that means! I just love the ride I get from the bike you love to bash that’s all there is to it. Stay with me here Chris I promise I will make my point. Your whole retarded tirade of Harley Davidson is not because you are stupid, from Mississippi, or a cop. It's because you are a control freak (ALL COPS ARE…. Its OK) , You've formed an opinion that you are entitled to but you behave like a pissed off woman that got dumped by her man. You know…. All that stuff about a woman scorned… My parallel is the Harley guys giving you shit "get a real bike" just in case you didn’t understand bozo. So couple the scorned woman & the control freak and you get officer Chris T. Shields "Mississippi's finest" (now if that’s not a comedic contradiction in terms what is?) that NEEDS to tell everyone how shitty Harley Davidson is cause he likes speed so he rides a "Rice Rocket" cause they are technologically more advanced, lighter, faster… blah blah blah…. You're the worst kind of control freak because you wont be happy until everyone in your world feels the way you do. You bash everyone else, you're not an elitist, you’re a jerk off.

In the above paragraph of his email, we quickly learn that punctuation and grammar are concepts totally unknown to Tom and that the only thing that has more runs-on than his Harley when he shuts it off is his sentence structure when he composes email.

Tom says that he rides a Harley because he chooses to and not because he wants to be cool. He further explains that he isn’t cool and that he doesn’t even know what cool means which is rather obvious because, after all, Tom rides a Harley Davidson. It is apparent that Tom can’t generate any coolness of his own so he has to rent what little cool he can espouse directly from Milwaukee and that he is willing to rent that artificially generated cool at a premium price. It should also be noted that claiming to love the ride he gets from his Harley Davidson is kind of like Tom claiming to love the feeling he gets from his proctologist’s middle finger.  I've ridden Harley Davidsons before, folks and let me tell you what ... riding a Harley Davidson for any amount of time is like a combination of arm wrestling a paint shaker and getting buggered by a cinder block.  The reason they're called "hard tails" is because of all the calluses and layers of scar tissue that have built up from years of riding a HD.  Most people in the world are smart enough to shy away from discomfort.  People like Tom are actually dumb enough to pay for the privilege of experiencing it.

The truth is that Tom rides a Harley Davidson because he has to and because he needs to, not because he wants to or because he chooses to. In that regard the only person that Tom is fooling really is himself. Without his Harley a person like Tom, with such obvious intellectual, educational and deep rooted charisma based shortcomings, would never get noticed at all by the rest of the more enlightened, more educated human race. Without his Harley Davidson, Tom really is nothing and isn’t worth noticing at all. 

Tom also states that I am a control freak but we've already discussed how I am more of a patient teacher than an opinion tyrant.  Oh!  And just to set the record straight, I don't NEED to tell everyone how shitty Harley Davidson is because that much is evident to anyone with an fifth grade or higher equivalent education.  You see, I fully understand how shitty Harley Davidson is and I have a lot of fun replying to idiots like Tom not for their benefit but so that the rest of the world can laugh at Tom and those like him as much as I do.  Whether HD survives or not is of no consequence to me since I'm not a slave to that particular brand and I don't have to worry about ever buying any of their ridiculous lackluster products.  If Harley Davidson goes out of business right this instant then it won't affect my ability to ride my Honda in any way, shape, or form.  I say good riddance to bad rubbish ... The only really bad thing about HD ever going out of business that I can see is that I would miss having these wonderfully one sided intellectual kung fu matches with ass headed Luddites like Tom.   What Tom has failed to understand (among a great many other things) is that there are only two kinds of riders in the world; those who own Harley Davidsons and those who are smart enough not to. 

I'll give you two guesses which group Tom belongs to and the first guess doesn't count.

And let's go over the "rice" slur I made a moment ago.

Educated people understand that slurs are merely the crutches of bigots.

Tom and those like him often refer to import bikes as “rice burners” in the same way that ignorant people of his low education and mediocre intelligence refer to black people as “niggers,” Orientals as “chinks” and people of Middle-Eastern descent as “camel jockeys.” Slurs give people like Tom something definitive to hang their ignorance upon and give focus to the simple minded hatred that they hide behind to disguise their own inadequacies. People like Tom have to slander the things that are better than they are all in order to give their own pathetic life some form of meaning and worth. People like Tom have to pull the greater things above them way down to their pathetic level in order to elevate what they are and what they own to levels it and they could never attain on their own collective merits. We know that import bikes don’t burn “rice” any more than Harleys run on moonshine and banjo music but that doesn’t stop people like Tom from referring to import bikes as such. Slurs give small minds like Tom’s a convenient hook to hang their ignorant prejudices on, nothing more.

Now, in regard to the “rice” comment, Tom’s already well established and self-proven ignorance allows me to forgive his rice slur comment quite easily, after all, people like Tom just don’t know any better and certainly don’t have the required proper education, class or upright character to act differently even if they did.

Yeah Yeah Yeah, I know Harley Davidson does have Japanese parts on their "American" motorcycle It's called buying in a world economy. But Harley Davidson is an AMERICAN company Honda is a foreign company that does business in the USA. Don’t give me that Honda USA bullshit, employing Americans crap. Like I said, It's a world economy. Anyone who says they don’t buy anything Japanese is a fucking moron…. You can't help it.

During this part of his email, Tom humorously tries to explain Harley’s method of production operations as “buying in a world economy.” Wrong. What Tom is referring to isn’t called “buying in a world economy,” no, it’s called “misleading the uneducated, gullible, image driven, short memory span riddled, sheep-like mentality cursed consumer in order to perpetuate a pseudo-patriotic, guilt based marketing fantasy and support a highly profitable make-believe, prepackaged lifestyle when the company that the sheepeople worship discovers that it simply cannot build a product that can match let alone compete with the products from other similar manufacturers.”

I smiled at the way that Tom begins to stammer when he tries to explain that Harley Davidson is an AMERICAN company and that Honda of America is a foreign company that does business in the USA. I honestly didn’t think it was possible to stammer in an email but Tom manages to do that very thing quite nicely which makes it all the more humorous and interesting to witness. I like the part where he claims that Harley Davidson is an AMERICAN company (note the use of ALL CAPS) and that Honda is a foreign company doing business in America. I’m surprised that he didn’t put a tiny little trademark "(TM)" symbol behind the word “AMERICAN” (just as I’m surprised that Harley Davidson hasn’t tried to legally do the same thing in the past two decades as well).

So, HD is an AMERICAN company and Honda is a foreign company doing business in the USA?

Wow. 

I stand in utter fucking, mind numbing, jaw dropping awe at the grossly staggering amount of sheer intelligence it took Tom to make that factual statement.  In fact, that particular statement might just be the smartest and most intelligent thing that Tom has said in his whole email ... which leads me to believe that he might have had more than a little covert help from his long ago discarded foreskin (or perhaps someone else's foreskin) when composing that bit of his argument as he has yet to prove to us that he and he alone could have ever come up with something that brilliant on his own.

Honestly when you look at HD and Honda, you have to ask yourself which company is better overall for America? Which company has consistently been better for America overall?

On one hand you have a progressive, innovative, technology based company that employs a whole lot of American workers, produces a myriad of high quality consumer desired, society needed products across a wide range of market segments, introduces new technology and advanced new methods of engineering (brought about through direct competition with their immediate peers) and continues to not only refine its products year after year but also branches out into other more powerful technologies (like aeronautics and robotics).  This constant advancement of both engineering and technology will in turn require more and more workers in the future and require newer, larger, more complex and more sophisticated production plants to be built here in America.  The production of these plants will result in the need to hire even more highly educated American workers to staff those plants in order to produce the company's ever expanding line of technology and direct competition driven engineering based consumer products.

On the other hand, you have Harley Davidson ... which really hasn't changed all that much in the last 58 years of its laughably miserable existence.

Just because you’re a (home grown) American company doesn’t automatically mean that you’re inherently good for America nor does it automatically mean that you’re worth doing business with (Harley Davidson is clearly neither). Harley Davidson may be an American company but it doesn’t represent America at all, or rather it doesn’t represent any of the good traits or classic aspects of America. If Tom wants to compare the two manufacturing companies, Honda of America has done far more for this country than Harley Davidson ever has or ever will and he can’t prove otherwise.  Honda of America employs more American workers, uses more American purchased supplies, pays more American taxes, pays out more employee benefits and sends more income back out into the local communities than Harley Davidson ever has or ever will. If you want to talk about being good for America, then Honda of America is far better for this country than Harley Davidson of Milwaukee ever could be or ever will be because Honda is progressive and HD is stagnant.  Honda is a technology provider.  Harley Davidson is a fashion provider.  Honda has grown and continues to grow year after year.   Harley Davidson simply makes copies of the same old bikes that it always has.

Let’s try to put the situation into mathematical perspective, shall we?

Recently, Harley Davidson had revenue of $8.8 billion dollars and employed 9,700 employees. Honda (worldwide) had revenue of $94.24 billion dollars and employed 167,231 workers, of which a little over 19,000 of those workers (about 11% of Honda's total work force) were in the United States alone (even more and a larger percentage if you count Canada and Mexico in that equation as well). Honda of America employs almost twice the number of Americans that Harley Davidson does. Knuckle-dragging mongoloids like Tom like to think (and foolishly believe) that Harley Davidson is some great and enduring all-American company that has stood strongly through the tests of time and that The Motor Company represents the true ideals and beliefs of America. Sadly, he (and everyone like him) couldn’t be more wrong. Harley Davidson is an utter and complete failure and a repeat utter and complete failure at that.  I can't imagine what kind of human being would be so pathetic that they would look up to Harley Davidson as some kind of role model.

If Tom really wants to throw blame at Honda of America (and the other import manufacturers) for being here in the first place then all he has to do is look eastward to Milwaukee and Harley Davidson. The real reason why the Japanese are so entrenched in America is because Harley Davidson opened the door for them and invited them in through the results of HD’s vehement yet mostly ineffectual anti-import actions. Do you know why Honda builds motorcycles in America (and sells more motorcycles in America than Harley Davidson does)? It’s because of Harley Davidson’s inherent greed, their long running lack of foresight and their own recurring upper level managerial stupidity.

Harley once punished, needlessly, the Japanese motorcycle manufacturers with an unnecessary trade tariff all in order to cover up their own gross management incompetence and the fact that their stagnation in product design (leading them to be two to three decades behind the rest of the world in technology and engineering) had almost put them into their much deserved grave. Harley Davidson was stuck selling 30 year old designs in a market that was being flooded with new, modern engineered, technology and competition driven designs.  Did Harley Davidson change their design and introduce new, modern designs?

No.

HD blamed the Japanese for HD’s inability to compete in the (then) current motorcycle market. In order to prevent such a silly punishment from ever being brought against the Japanese manufacturers again, Japan responded by building motorcycle manufacturing plants in America. You can’t put a trade tariff on products made inside this country and thanks to Harley Davidson’s recurring short term business vision and incurable long term stupidity, you can see that Honda and the other top Japanese companies now not only have a major foothold in this country but consistently outsell “America’s Finest” year after year after year in this country alone not to mention the rest of the world as a whole.  In fact, thanks to Harley Davidson's business ignorance, it is now the number three retailer of motorcycles in America coming in solidly at that position behind Suzuki (#2) and Honda (#1).  Number three in its own country of origin ... now that clearly shows that HD suffers not only from an outdated design that is targeted to a very narrow market segment but also that its business leaders redefine the term "incompetent."

So, the next time you see a Honda with the “Made in USA” logo on the seat, you can thank your good pal, Harley Davidson (and their laughable though recurring “mean old imports” victim mentality) for that. In fact, Harley Davidson should be praised for creating so many brand new jobs for decent, hard working Americans across this great country over the last three decades … the only problem is that those new jobs were high paying positions with the arriving and expanding import companies moving over here to take advantage of our local economies and these jobs were not positions with the Harley Davidson Motor Company itself.

Hmmm.

I stand corrected … maybe HD did do something good for America. After all … they certainly brought to our shores a lot of high paying jobs with great benefits and for that even I have to thank the hillbillies in Milwaukee. It wasn’t what Harley Davidson intended to do but I guess even monumental stupidity can have a silver lining, that is, if you’re on the other side of that monumental stupidity when it happens and you’re not the one actually creating it.

Once, Harley Davidson was ALL made in America, now it's not, GET OVER IT. That has a lot more to do with our government than you would probably care to admit but we will breeze over that for a moment so I don’t confuse you.

Tom, you really, really, really don’t want to get into a debate or discussion on how American politics and / or economics apply to the history and development of Harley Davidson as a corporation. We’re not breezing over this topic for my benefit, Tom, but rather because, once again, you simply don’t know what you’re talking about and you’re hoping to the good Lord Almighty that I won’t call you out on the carpet for your glaring ignorance.

The difference is that I understand the real history of Harley Davidson, not the market spin history that you reference or the brainwashing that you revisit frequently in your email. I’ve researched the company; I’ve lived through its worst years and even watched in abject amazement as Harley Davidson transformed itself from a failed manufacturer of American motorcycles into a hugely successful white trash oriented fashion empire. Harley Davidson died The Great Death; they became what they once despised.  The irony is that in order to survive, Harley Davidson sold out to those who had once ridiculed them and in doing so they alienated the very people who had once supported them. When Harley Davidson did this, they became a joke, invalidating all that they had once stood for and in doing so they became a sad parody of what they once were.

Lets not forget officer control freak, Harley Davidson made motorcycles for our troops that were utilized in a World War so they could be more agile and quicker to help defeat the enemy so shitheads like you could sleep like a baby at night and not be forced to speak German or Japanese. No they weren't soldiers but they aided in the war & hold a place in history as a 105 year old company and you bash the same company that produced a motorcycle to aid our troops against the very same fuckers that own the company of the motorcycle you ride.

Oh, goody gumdrops!

Apparently, Tom also wants to drop some patriotic World War II pseudo-historical make-believe gibberish into the discussion by reminding me that Harley Davidson once made bikes for the US military. Of course in this instance when Tom says “once” he actually means “a very long time ago” and it should be noted that “once” also means “hasn’t done it ever since.”

Sigh.

Let’s discuss the utter failure of Harley Davidson during World War II because you can’t really view Harley Davidson’s participation in that historical conflict in any other real light. Yes, Harley Davidson produced the WL series of motorcycles for the military and called it the WLA (“A” standing for “Army”) and they also produced the WLC (the “C” standing for “Canada” where the WLC was used by Canadian allied forces) but we’re going to concentrate on the WLA for this part of the discussion. The HD made bikes really weren’t that great and they served in a far less glorious capacity than Tom has been misled to believe. As he says, these bikes were not soldiers mainly because they weren’t even armed or armored nor were they very good on anything but open or flat terrain. Yes, the riders carried sidearms (mainly .45 semiautomatic pistols) and either .30 M1 carbines or .45 Thompson SMGs but these were carried in holsters, not mounted to the bikes and using them required that the rider usually pull over and dismount before engaging in any actual combat.

The WLA series was not a fighting vehicle rather it was a courier and messenger tool and was used for convoy escort in non-combat areas. Occasionally the WLA served as a light recon unit but that was really, really pushing its abilities to the max.

I liked this part of Tom’s email in particular:

“… Harley Davidson made motorcycles for our troops that were utilized in a World War so they could be more agile and quicker to help defeat the enemy so shitheads like you could sleep like a baby at night and not be forced to speak German or Japanese. No they weren't soldiers but they aided in the war & hold a place in history as a 105 year old company and you bash the same company that produced a motorcycle to aid our troops against the very same fuckers that own the company of the motorcycle you ride.”

Oh for the love of Willie G.’s hairy bloated vulva … !

Yes, deep rooted ignorance like Tom’s finally ceases to be amusing after a while and I think we’ve just about reached that turning point now with the collection of words he submitted above. Not only does Tom know nothing about the company he supports but he also doesn’t know anything about the great country that he lives in or the many great and historic wars that his country has fought (and won).

Harley Davidson made motorcycles for our troops that were utilized in a World War?

Try TWO World Wars, Tom ... two as in the number of times that you repeated the fifth grade in elementary school.  Harley Davidson produced bikes for the United States armed forces in both World War I and World War II and they even produced bikes for use by American forces during the Korean War. After that, even the US armed forces realized that Harley Davidson was both a joke and outdated which is why you don’t see HD military bikes used in any capacity in any American armed conflict after Korea. Harley Davidson failed to keep up with the times and the US government wasn’t about to trust the lives of our soldiers to such ridiculous pieces of junk as HD was likely to turn out under government contract.  Honestly, when you are the United States and you're fielding equipment like the F-117 Stealth fighter, the M1A2 Abrams tank and RPVs then the last thing you want in your motor pool is a copy of a 50 year old design of a motorcycle.

Harleys were not used so that our soldiers could be “more agile and quicker”; there were no huge platoons of Harley riding soldiers roaring into combat to heroically turn the tide of battle against the Nazis just in the nick of time. The truth is that the WLA was, by and large, an utter piece of crap, cheaply made and poorly built even by 1940’s standards. The fact that Harley Davidson built gazoogles of WLAs clearly shows that the US government considered these particular pieces of junk to be readily expendable if not completely disposable. Most often, GIs would drop their rattle-trap WLAs and take up riding captured German BMW R71s at the first opportunity they got. History shows that the air cooled shaft driven German built BMW R71 was much better engineered and much better built than the air cooled HD WLA. In fact, the BMW R71 was such a superior bike to the mostly inadequate Harley Davidson WLA that the United States Army specifically asked HD to copy, yes, directly copy the BMW R71 as an American bike for use by American troops (I guess the powers that be got tired of seeing American troops riding around on gray bikes with black Nazi swastikas painted on the sides).

So, when Harley Davidson had produced a gazoogle of American built WLAs and the military asked HD to build a bike that was exactly like the German built BMW R71, it must have really have been a slap in the face to Milwaukee, huh, Tom? In essence, Uncle Sam said

“Hey! Thanks for all of these cheap ass scooters but do you think you banjo playing, moonshine swilling inbred country bumpkins can build the United States Army a real motorcycle? How about an American motorcycle that at least performs as well as the motorcycle that the guys who are trying to kill us ride? Quit making that WLA crap and make a real bike ... a great bike like the BMW R71. K. Thx. Bye.”

When Uncle Sam asked HD to copy the BMW R71, what did Harley Davidson do? Did they learn from their mistakes and improve the WLA to match or better yet exceed the performance of the BMW R71?

No.

Did they study the foreign designed R71, reverse engineer its better design, its higher standard of engineering and its superior technology, then turn around and produce American technology that was the equivalent or better of the German offering?

No.

When Harley Davidson was asked to copy the German BMW R71 then Harley Davidson did exactly what it was told to do (and the only thing that they could do when faced with going head to head against a superior product from another country). When told to produce a bike that was the equal or better of the BMW R71, Harley Davidson merely copied the BMW R71 (you see, copying other manufacturers wasn’t exactly a new concept for Harley Davidson even way back then). The result of this reproduction of superior German engineering was a new model of Harley Davidson identified by the designation of “XA.” Milwaukee copied the German-built BMW R71 so closely that the “XA” remains the only shaft-driven Harley Davidson ever mass produced (HD even copied the German drive train configuration). Fortunately, the XA didn’t enter production in large numbers nor did it see very much active service because by the time that the XA was ready for deployment, the use of motorcycles in warfare had been pretty much surpassed by another multi-purpose and far more capable military vehicle entirely; the ubiquitous Jeep. Unlike the WLA and the XA, the Jeep offered some protection to its occupants, could go places that the “WLA” and “XA” could not and could even be armed with a variety of machineguns (and later anti-tank weapons such as a recoilless rifle). If any Allied vehicle produced during World War II deserves the title of “the vehicle that won the war for the Allies” then it is the Jeep rather than anything produced by Harley Davidson during that era. Once again, historic facts mercilessly euthanize (with glee) widespread rampant hillbilly fantasy and trailer park hear-say.

Oh, and before you foolishly talk about Harley Davidson somehow laughably saving us singlehandedly from having to speak German maybe you should understand that Harley has been in bed with the Germans and learning to speak German quite well since the late 1960’s and early 1970’s. Where do you think that the Revolution engine in the V-Rod came from, Tom? It wasn’t invented by the hillbillies in Milwaukee, that’s for sure because they aren’t smart enough to design something as complex as that on their own. Hell, they’re lucky to understand indoor plumbing … barely.

No, the V-Rod’s engine came from Porsche and Porsche is a … (gasp) German company. Harley has been speaking German for nearly forty years now but it’s only been in the last decade that Harley actually got around to fulfilling any of the proposed joint ventures with the Germans. So, you see … the company that you claim worked so hard to protect us from having to speak German in turn knows how to speak German quite well. What’s even funnier is that Harley Davidson has been speaking Japanese since the mid 1980’s when they realized that in order to survive as a business (not necessarily as a motorcycle manufacturer, mind you) that they would have to adopt not only highly successful Japanese management philosophies but also tried and true Japanese production techniques. It’s a great example of the philosophy of “if you can’t beat them … join them.”

This much is historic fact, Tom.

I loved the part where you mention that Harley Davidson is a 105 year old company but what you don’t understand is that just because you’ve lasted 105 years doesn’t automatically mean that you’ve done anything really worth remembering or respecting in that hundred and a nickel years time nor does it automatically mean that you’re a great company.  A hundred and five years is a long time to be a chronic loser and Harley Davidson has made a century and a nickel of doing nothing but losing and playing hind tit to the rest of the world. Harley Davidson copied Indian for the first thirty years of their history, copied Germany during the next ten years, copied Europe during the next ten years then after two decades of poor decisions and bad management (Holiday Rambler), Harley had to resort to copying the Japanese during their eighth decade all in order to both win sales back from the Far East and to finally clean up their own muddled house in regards to management and production. I can’t help but laugh at Harley Davidson and just how inept of a company it really is.  What did Harley Davidson do for the last two and a half decades?  They spent those years copying Avon and Amway and morphing from a total failure as a small time motorcycle manufacturer into a full blown tacky fashion retailer and make-believe lifestyle provider.

Harley Davidson is not a great company, Tom. They have a long history of failure and a long history of having to be bailed out time and time again either from other companies, other individuals or from Uncle Sam. Harley Davidson may be 105 years old but it didn’t survive that long because it was a well managed, well run, highly profitable company with a great product that lead the rest of the world in its particular commercial market. No, HD survived for 105 years because when the chips were down all it knew how to do was to beg for mercy and hope for the best. All Harley Davidson has ever known how to do is to copy other manufacturers, to play the victim and to put the blame for their situation on anyone but their own selves. Harley never, ever pulled its own self out of the trouble that it had made for itself. No, it always got handouts and buyouts and government trade protection.

I also find it interesting when Tom says: “and you bash the same company that produced a motorcycle to aid our troops against the very same fuckers that own the company of the motorcycle you ride.”

Honda wasn’t founded until 1948, Tom. That’s three years after the end of World War II and three years after we vaporized two of Japan’s largest cities; Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Japan attacked our naval base at Pearl Harbor, a valid military target, and in doing so they sank some old ships and killed a bunch of our sailors and soldiers who were stationed there.  Yes, it was a very bad and tragic event but the attack on Pearl Harbor was far less effective than Japan would have liked since they didn’t damage or sink any of our aircraft carriers (like the Coral Sea, the Yorktown, and Enterprise).

We dropped our first two primitive atomic bombs on the cities of Nagasaki and Hirsohima instantly vaporizing tens of thousands of Japanese men, women, babies, boys, girls, teenagers, children, the young, the old, the elderly, and the crippled. We vaporized both military personnel and civilians, we vaporized cats, dogs, birds, bees, fish, butterflies, flowers, trees and who knows what else in the blink of an eye while the legacy of those two atomic bombs was felt for decades afterwards by the inhabitants of Japan. I don’t know how you feel about that point in time but for me, I consider the war account that Japan opened at Pearl Harbor paid back in full, with many much interest.

You claim that Harley Davidson produced motorcycles to aid our troops against the very same fuckers that own the company of the motorcycle that I ride but I ride a Japanese motorcycle, Tom, and not a German motorcycle. Hmmm. Now, care as I to recall I don’t remember there being a whole lot of Harley Davidson motorcycles used in the Pacific theater of operations mainly because Harleys need good solid land to run on and the Pacific theater was full of, well, the Pacific Ocean (and a whole bunch of islands). You do understand, Tom, that the Pacific theater is where we fought the Japanese, right? You do understand that we didn’t engage any Japanese forces in Europe, right, Tom? You do understand that we fought the Japanese on a whole lot of tropical islands in the South Pacific and that the typical Pacific island just didn’t have very much Harley Davidson WLA friendly terrain, now did it?

No.

When it came to fighting the Japanese jungle island by jungle island, I doubt if the WLA was up to that task or that it got used for very much other than running cold beer and letters from mail call around the already leveled and established grounds of a Navy or Marine base. Remember, the “A” in “WLA” stood for “Army” and “Navy” starts with an “N.” Harley Davidson never really built any “WLN” models to my knowledge. If the Navy used WLAs in World War II then they probably used them as spare anchors for their ships when the real anchors broke away during storms or were lost in combat and in that case I’m sure that the WLA performed admirably if not flawlessly in its well suited if unintentional role. Maybe I was wrong, maybe the American Navy did order some “WLA” models from Harley Davidson and if they did, then the “A” in “WLA” probably stood for “Anchor” and if the Navy used the "WLA" series as replacement anchors then the "WLA" was put to a far better use than the "WLA" was in Europe.

No, Tom, I bash a company that produced a motorcycle to aid our troops against the very same fuckers that own the company that produces the engine that powers the most powerful contemporary Harley Davidson, the V-Rod. I bash a company that produced a motorcycle to aid our troops against the very same fuckers that the company that produces your bike is shacked up with and has been shacked up with for almost 40 years now. People like you seem to really have a hatred for the Japanese due to their part in World War II but you’re quick to completely forgive the Germans and the part that they played in World War II. Oh, I’m sure you’ll cite something silly like “Remember Pearl Harbor!” even though you probably weren’t even born back then and I’d just reply with “Remember Normandy, Dunkirk and the Battle of the Bulge!”

Let's use a bit of logic here, Tom, using, of course, your retarded logic as a basis for argument ...

If my sport bike, the Honda CBR600RR ...	... is built by these fuckers.
... then the VRSC V-Rod's Porsche built engine ...	... is built by these fuckers

Let me give folks like Tom a little history lesson here.  Porsche had a fine history of serving the Nazis during World War II.  In fact, Porsche sold their designs under the trade name of "Volkswagen" long before they ever put a "Porsche" badge on any of their designs. In doing so, during World War II, Volkswagen (under the astute leadership of Ferdinand Porsche) turned to producing a military vehicle, the Kubelwagen and they produced 52,000 or more of these "bucket seat cars" for the German army (both Wehrmacht and Waffen-SS) to use against the Allies.  Volkswagen also produced the Schwimmwagen ("floating / swimming car") for use by the German army as well.  It should also be noted that while Porsche lost the contract to build a tank for the Nazis, they did, however, work extensively on the design of the Tiger series of German tanks as well as the Elefant tank, two Axis weapons that proved exceedingly difficult for the Allies to counter let alone overcome.  After the war, Ferdinand Porsche was arrested for war crimes against the Allies and while never tried, he did serve 20 months in prison for his part in helping the German war machine.

You do realize that it was Germany that we were fighting in World War II, right, Tom? Speaking of the Germans and their involvement in World War II, I’d like to remind you of a powerful film a few years back, one that was very graphic in nature. Did you ever see “Saving Private Ryan”, Tom?

If you did, then I might remind you that the first few minutes of that film show graphic images of American soldiers getting cut to pieces by machinegun and artillery fire as they bravely storm the beaches of Normandy on D-Day. Those bullets and cannon shells that you see aren’t being fired by Japanese gunners, Tom. They’re being fired by German gunners, the great grandfathers of the people who your beloved company is partnered with and has been partnered with for decades now.

Let me remind people like Tom that during World War II, America and the Allies faced the Axis powers and those three enemy combatant nations were composed of Germany, Italy and Japan. History shows that Harley Davidson has been giving head to the Germans for decades now and recently Harley Davidson even bought MV Agusta, an Italian motorcycle company.

Holy flaming poo poo!

Do you realize what that means, Tom?

Your patriotic company that builds bikes to protect us from really evil fuckers is itself in bed with two out of three of the really evil fuckers that tried to conquer us during World War II, you know, the ancient global conflict that you like to relate back to (all in order to attempt to justify your pathetic argument on quasi-patriotic heritage). Can it be too many years from now before Harley Davidson starts offering Japanese built engines in their bikes? Probably not and that would just complete Harley Davidson selling out totally and completely, that is, if it really could sell out any more than it already has.  When it comes to patriotism and America, Harley Davidson is far more like Jane Fonda than it ever will be like George S. Patton.  Harley Davidson survives any way it can and most of the time it survives by dropping to its knees and opening its mouth wide.

So you think that Japan is somehow evil and that it always has been and always will be? Let me put it this way, Tom. When America went to war against terrorism, it was the Japanese who offered assistance and even sent ships from the Japanese navy to aid coalition ships (the first time that Japanese warships had been allowed outside of their territorial waters since World War II). The Germans, who Harley Davidson is business partners with, and who killed a hell of a lot of Americans during World War II, were opposed to the coalition of forces operating in Iraq and refused to send help, in turn joining France and Russia in trying to stonewall our endeavors against global terrorism.  Oh, did I fail to mention that the heads on the V-Rod's German built engine are produced in France?  Sorry, I forgot to mention that little fact ...  Now, if North Korea ever decides to break the cease-fire with America and invade South Korea, then the first nation that will come to our aid will probably be Japan.  Yes, American forces once used Harley Davidson motorcycles during times of war but they no longer do because as America, her armed forces, and the world evolved past the 1950's, Harley Davidson failed to do so.  Today, when American soldiers and special forces units ride motorcycles into combat they ride Hondas and Kawasakis, dirt bikes and ATVs designed to take abuse and to survive in hostile environments, two things that no Harley Davidson could be built today to withstand.  The American soldiers that you claim once relied on Harley Davidsons to get them around now instead rely on Japanese built off road motorcycles and ATVs to get them where they are going.  Why?  Because Harley Davidson is no longer dependable.  HD no longer builds anything of use to anyone other than people who have no lives, no charisma, and no originality.

Times change, Tom.  Old enemies become new allies and old allies become new enemies (just look at where Russia and Japan are now, historically, from their political stance in World War II in regards to relations with America today).  Everything changes, Tom, unless, of course, you’re Harley Davidson then nothing really ever changes at all.

“I know, I know its not the same group of people, I get it. But it's like the blacks of today that want "slave reparations" My father nor my grandfather owned slaves so I don’t owe them anything other than respect if you should be a person of color that deserves it based upon the content of your character.”

Great gangrenous gorilla gonads! 

WTF did this bit of unwarranted ignorance appear from?  How is owning an import sport bike like "blacks of today that want "slave reparations""?  Did Tom just suddenly start hemorrhaging IQ or what?  How the hell did we jump from talking about the Japanese to talking about African-Americans and what is or is not supposedly owed to them? How does that have any bearing or relation at all to what we are discussing?  The only thing I can think of that Tom is trying to say here is that it doesn't matter if the Japanese of today build the bike that I ride because they are really just the same thing as the Japanese of yesterday.  I guess this means, by his own logic, that black Americans today are really no different than black African slaves were in the 19th century.  It's kind of amazing that Tom doesn't think the same thing about the people of Germany.  Somehow, in nearly a century and a half since slavery was abolished, Tom still thinks both silly and unkind things of black people and lumps them in with their ancestors.  For someone who was quick to chastise me about lumping people into groups, Tom sure does make a habit of doing that himself, doesn't he?

Yes, in the nearly six decades since World War II, Tom's ignorance still prevents him from understanding that the Japanese people could have changed as well but yet, somehow, he lets himself support a company that does business with a group of people who are descended from a nation that once tried to take over the world and he's perfectly willing to forgive the Germans, I guess, as long as they're partners with HD.  Harley owners ... they really do live in a world of pure make-believe and the thing you have to be on your toes so much about in dealing with them is that the laws of logic and physics don't apply in the world that Harley owners populate.  I guess that's the one thing that makes them so much fun to make fun of because their whole lives revolve around a dimension of pure retarded subscription based fantasy.

Sigh.

So ... Tom understands that even though African Americans and the Japanese of today aren't necessarily the same as their ancestors, it really doesn't matter to him because in the long run they're just blacks and Japs and that really makes them no different today than their ancestors were long ago.  Yes, ignorant, uneducated morons like Tom are so dumb that if you asked them what they thought about Harriet Tubman's “Underground Railroad” they’d probably think you were talking about some old guy riding a customized HD Night-Train.

Lets touch on the clothing & Harley Davidson moniker that you incessantly bombard with more 30 I.Q. insults, which, by the way makes you look even more like a scorned woman. Look Chris, I am not going to buy Harley Davidson coffee either cause it comes in a box or can that has a Harley emblem on it. Why would I pay $17.00 for coffee I can buy at the grocery store for $5 unless I like the flavor or I like the Harley Davidson can it comes in and I choose to buy it because I can afford it. Harley Davidson is the fucking KING of "brand awareness" if you don’t know what that means you can look it up on wikipedia. You just love to lump everyone that rides a Harley into the same category which speaks volumes of your ignorant Mississippi limited gene pool existence.

Ah, good!

Next we move on to a discussion of Harley Davidson themed clothing which is the nearest thing to Garanimals for middle-aged retards that you could ever find available in a retail outlet format.   Let’s face it folks, if you are Tom’s age and you buy your clothes out of a motorcycle dealership then obviously your parents failed to teach you how to dress yourself (and it’s not too far of an assumption to assume that the potty training part failed as well or at least took far longer than normal).

Tom briefly mentions the term “brand awareness” and assumes that I don’t understand what he’s talking about (when I’ve been talking about this very subject for almost fifteen years now). He chides me for lumping everyone who rides a Harley into the same category (kind of like he does with cops) but I say if the shoe fits … wear it. What he doesn’t realize is that not only is he judged by the company that he keeps but also by the company that he supports. In this case, Tom clearly supports idiots, the continuation of stupidity and a company that is a 105 year old consistent failure. That says a lot about Tom as well. After all, if your role model and the people you wish to rise up to are habitual losers who surround their selves with a proprietary make-believe lifestyle then that just really doesn’t say a whole lot about you as a developed human being, now does it?

Chris, I must admit right now I own MANY Harley Davidson t-shirts from the many places around the world I have been to and I even own Harley Davidson blue jeans which by the way are designed with a bit more room so when you are in a sitting position to be comfortable on your bike without crushing your nut sack but I'm sure you never had that problem anyway….. Oh wait, in one of your other ramblings you told us how you and your wife get such a laugh out of that but I'm sure you've been getting laughed at that by women for years until you consummated with the lovely Mrs. Shields. By the way does she have her own opinion about anything or do you make her have yours??? Does any other company manufacture that same cut pant for less money & the same quality…. I'm sure the answer is yes but then again it comes down to the opinion you hold that if you like Harley Davidson anything you are a complete "hill scoggin" I'm so glad that whatever powers that be decided you should be the President of what's right & wrong, good & evil etc…

This is the part of his email where Tom continues to dig his personal fox hole of ignorance deeper and deeper with the dull shovel of his intellect when he admits that he has far too many Harley Davidson t-shirts from the many places around the world that he has been.

Wow.

Do you realize that out of all of the motorcycle companies that only Harley Davidson is pretentious enough to believe that their customer base would want to (or be stupid enough to) purchase a souvenir T-shirt commemorating the customer's visit to a particular dealership in a particular city or country and do you know what?

They’re right!

Now, how many people do you see walking around with a “Walmart – Anchorage, Alaska” T-shirt or a “Barnes and Noble – Los Angeles, California” T-shirt on?

You don’t.

Only Harley Davidson is pretentious enough to sell shirts to commemorate the grand event of you visiting one of their dealerships in a city other than the city you live in and only people like Tom are dumb enough to actually buy these T-shirts. When I think of Tom and his T-shirt collection I think of a redneck bumble bee, drunkenly darting from dealership to dealership like each one was some kind of flower in bloom, picking up a T-shirt like it was a bit of nectar and then flying off again to pollinate the fertile fields of ignorance where people like Tom continually blossom and grow. Remember what I said earlier about people like Tom are human sponges that soaked up ignorance and then went somewhere else to wring it out? Same exact concept and Tom even admits that he does this.

How’s that for convenient?

I can’t think of anything more useless than a closetful of commemorative HD dealership T-shirts … except maybe Tom himself. I mean, come on! You’re wearing a T-shirt commemorating your visit to a Harley Davidson dealership and you had to buy the shirt yourself! Harley Davidson should give you the shirt for free just for walking into their dealerships but no! You have to pay for the privilege of advertising for The Motor Company. The real question is … why would any sane human being ever buy a T-shirt commemorating their visit to a particular dealership in a particular location and if they did it once then why would they continue this odd pattern of personal failure time after time after time? Is Tom trying to collect the entire set of HD dealership T-shirts?

Maybe.

I guess it takes some kind of rare and special skill to walk into a Harley Davidson dealership in Cowfuck, Wyoming, buy a dealer endorsed T-shirt with your Gold Mastercard then proudly wear that shirt everywhere to try to impress people who are dumber than you are (and that’s the only ones who ever would be impressed by your T-shirt collection). Think about it … Tom has a collection of T-shirts from various Harley Davidson dealerships around the country and possibly around the world. T-shirts of the same company.

Man, I thought the idiots who collected Ty “Beanie Babies” a few years back were stupid but Tom makes those people look like Nobel Prize candidates. Sadly, folks, the only good thing that you can say about someone who is wearing a commemorative HD dealership T-shirt is that the commemorative HD dealership shirt, like a pair of cheap novelty panties, is being used for little more than to dress up a complete and utter twat.

Tom then proudly admits to owning Harley Davidson brand blue jeans and, like every other Harley owner, he just can’t resist resorting to the tired old penis argument (i.e. I ride a Harley and my penis is now so big that I have to wear specially made HD brand jeans to keep from having a balance problem when I ride …). Bah. Like I’ve always said, a Harley is just God’s way of saying that He’s sorry He didn’t give you a penis when you were born. The universal truth in life is that it’s generally the people who brag the loudest that have the least to brag about and I’m sure that Tom here is no exception to that rule. Tom claiming that he needs extra room in the crotch of his jeans when he rides his Harley Davidson is like Gary Coleman walking into a “big and tall” store and demanding to be fitted for a new business suit.

Tom, if you’re still reading this and you’re wearing your HD brand jeans then I want you do to me a favor. Can you do me a favor? Good. I want you to get down on the floor on all fours, doggy style (it’s a position you’re probably all too familiar with after visiting your local HD dealership) and I want you to find a mirror where you can see yourself full length.

Did you find a mirror?

Good.

Next, I want you to look at the HD bar and shield logo that is featured on the rear of your HD jeans. At this point in our exercise, I want you to imagine that the bar and shield logo is a brand just like the kind that cowboys used to apply to cattle to identify what ranch the cows belonged to. As you admire the bar and shield logo brand displayed on your ass, I want you to do one final thing for me while you’re wearing your HD jeans and while you’re there on the floor on all fours. I want you to take a deep breath, purse your lips and say “Mooooooooooo!” really loudly.

Repeat as necessary until it sinks in just what you are and how willing you were to become it. After all, once you take your T-shirt collection and your HD name brand jeans into consideration then you’ve willingly accepted being branded by The Motor Company so many times that you really can’t be considered a human being anymore. No, you’ve gone from living as a human being to becoming “willing property.” The difference between you and a cow in the Wild West was that the cow had enough sense to try to avoid being branded in the first place. You, on the other hand, not only willingly stepped forward to be branded but you did it time and time again and you actually paid for the privilege each time. What this boils down to is that you (and those like you) are little more than traditional cattle with the sole exception that traditional cattle seem to be smarter considered as a whole on this branding idea.

All you hold is an opinion based upon the limited views of you mediocre rice rocket riding Mississippi officer douche bag life.

No, Tom.

I hold an opinion based on over 20 years of personal experience dealing with brainwashed, pagan, brand worshipping, self-made idiots like you and 30 years of actually being in the saddle. I have an opinion based on a BS degree in Business Administration with a heavy emphasis on finance and marketing. This college degree allows me not only to see through the bullshit that Harley Davidson has surrounded itself with all in order to survive but also makes me immune to their marketing ploys since I clearly see them for the nonsense fashion provider that they are.

I have an opinion based on researching the history of the companies that have produced the bikes that I have owned and of researching Harley Davidson as well.  I have an opinion based on looking at facts and figures and drawing conclusions from the math used to produce those figures.

I have an opinion based on established facts while you base your opinion on hear-say and nonsense. I base my opinion on having to constantly deal with ignorant brand obedient inbred hillbilly robots like you who claim to be individuals yet all dress / talk / act / think / look the same.  Here's a clue, Tom ... if you have to buy your "originality" from a corporation then you really don't have any "originality" at all, do you?

The truth is if anyone is leading a mediocre douche bag life, it’s you, Tom and the sad thing is that you're paying someone else to be what you are.

Look Chris, I defend your right to say & post this crap, this is America but lets not forget what America is about. You do remember freedom & free will. The ability to choose what you want and don’t want…. right ? So what I am saying is that you may be educated & write very well along with having a sharp sense of humor & verbal wit, but are the very "hill scoggin" you detest not based upon your opinions but based upon that anyone else that holds a different opinion is a moron.

No, Tom.  Someone with a different opinion than the one that I have is not automatically a moron.  However, anyone who rides a Harley Davidson is automatically a moron. 

Ah, you’re trying to quote Voltaire and you’re doing it rather badly which does nothing but hurt my educated spirit. I believe that the correctly worded quote from that long dead philosopher is …

“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” - Voltaire

You are correct, Tom. Let’s not forget what America is about. America is not about Harley Davidson and Harley Davidson is certainly not about America. Oh, I remember freedom and free will, Tom. The real question is, do you? If you still remembered what freedom meant, if you still remembered what America was all about (instead of what it has become) then you would never, ever own a Harley Davidson because owning a Harley Davidson is a slap in the face to what America stands for and all that this great country represents.

Harley Davidson is a perfect example of everything that is wrong with America today which I guess is why it is so popular with pseudo-Americans like you and so much fun to ridicule by real Americans like me. Harley Davidson is the one company that not only redefines the term “pretentious” but also takes itself way too seriously. When you foolishly and erroneously come to believe that one company can provide freedom and patriotism like they were commodities (let alone that this particular company is the sole provider of those commodities) and when you are gullible enough to actually pay a corporation for those two ideals then you really have lost sight of what America once stood for and what it means to be an American. If you believe that you can buy your birthright then you don’t deserve that birthright in the first place.

There’s a name for people whose patriotism can be bought, Tom and that name is “traitor.” Harley Davidson sold out a long time ago and the only people who ride Harleys today are sellouts of their own, in one way or the other. Like I’ve already explained before … Harley Davidson is a joke and if HD is your role model, if you aspire to be as great as HD is then that says volumes for just how much of a worthless person you really are.

The biggest difference between you and I (besides about 80 IQ points in my favor), Tom, is that my American birthright was determined when I was born in while your American birthright is apparently determined only by what you can afford to ride.

Freedom and patriotism are not commodities that can be packaged and sold like snacks in a vending machine, Tom, they are ideals and they can be enjoyed by anyone in this great country regardless of what you drive, ride or own, much to the chagrin of you and those like you who were stupid enough to pay for something that you already had been given for free. If you think that freedom and patriotism can be purchased over the counter at a dealership then you don’t deserve to be an American because obviously you’re too stupid to live in the greatest country in the world.

Thanks for allowing me a forum to tell you what an asshole you are.

Thank you for the humorous though predictable email which allowed me to both refute your silly ass arguments as well as return the favor by putting you in your rightful place. As I have said before, people like you exist only as sport to be ridiculed.  Singly, people like you are simply retard.  Grouped together, you're a Special Olympics team without an event to participate in.

Someone should take you behind the V.F.W. and kick the shit out of you.

Wow.

What a grand way to end an email … resorting to a laughable combination of Verse 17 and Verse 30 of the Milwaukee Orthodoxy.

So ... What happened to Voltaire, Tom?  What happened to the "I defend your right to say & post this crap" philosophy that you espoused just a few paragraphs ago?  Now we're at the "I don't agree with you and I hope that you get your ass kicked for saying it."  Harley owners are so predictable because they're stupid and pre-programmed and when the fashion based image centered programming runs out and they have to resort to their stupidity then hilarity surely must ensue.

Tom is suggesting that all veterans actively support Harley Davidson for the great American company that it is and that a difference of opinion should not be met with intelligent, educated discussion but rather with a stern application of great bodily harm delivered at the earliest opportunity. In that respect, his beliefs fall less in line with traditional American values and more in line with the Muslim extremists that we now face in Iraq and Afghanistan (i.e. “you are unbelievers so we are going to kill you.”).

Since Tom is as utterly predictable as he is simpleminded it’s obvious that his deep rooted ignorance is his own personal Achilles’ heel in any type of erstwhile debate. Let me share another timely quote from Voltaire with Tom, one that pertains to his final thoughts in the matter and to our discussion in particular.

“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.” - Voltaire

What that means is that if you are dumb enough to believe all of the lies that surround Harley Davidson then you’re probably weak minded enough to want to hurt someone in order to protect those lies because without those lies you are nothing and you run head on into just what a monumental loser you really are, much like Tom does every single morning when he wakes up and looks in the mirror. Tom doesn’t own his Harley, his Harley owns Tom. His Harley has changed Tom from an American who thought for his own self into a brand worshipping moron who was willing to pay for the right to discard common sense, forget history and suspend belief all for the chance to be something that he never could be.

The next time that Tom goes to the VFW hoping to see someone getting the shit kicked out of them simply because of their personal opinion or because they ride a different bike than he does, I hope that he makes sure to remind the hardened shit kicking veterans gathered there that the company that builds the bike he so proudly rides on is also good business partners with people who are the descendents of the Germans who were once trying to kill the older members of the VFW in the European theater of operations. Tom might also remind the veterans gathered there that the makers of the bike he rides on not only adopted Japanese business, management and production practices during the early 1980’s but that the company that produces the bike he rides on has also recently purchased an Italian based motorcycle manufacturer in an aim to expand their market overseas. Once Tom does this, he had better hope that his overweight and underpowered Harley Davidson is fast enough to save him from becoming the evening’s main source of fisticuffs based melee specific entertainment.

In closing … If anyone in this discussion needs to be taken anywhere, then it is Tom who needs to be taken back to primary school and held there until he can pass elementary American history, basic world history, beginning English and simple arithmetic. He should also be held back until he can say the Pledge of Allegiance instead of the Pledge to Milwaukee. While he sits there in fifth grade, I’m sure that he can pass the time by doodling bar and shield logos on his desk to impress the other fifth graders who are really the only ones who are certain to give his vast HD T-shirt collection the amount of respect that Tom foolishly believes it deserves.

Tom Corsi (yes, that is my real name)

Oh, I seriously doubt that. TOM CORSI is just a clever acronym for: This Odious Muppet Commutes On Retro Styled Ignorance.
 
 

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