The Hell's Angles

To:                Black Echo

Sent:            June 10, 2006
Subject:      me you

Redneck stumpfuck hill scoggins who ride Harley Davidsons?

OK first off for your own health, I hope you realize that this email is no joke.
My name is "Dagger" from the HELLS ANGLES we know
who you are, and where you live. We have been watching your
site for awhile now. It was brought to the club's attention
from several other members from other chapters, as well as other clubs.
We maintain chapters in 23 states and 25 countries.
Perhaps you have heard of us?
If not well, then just continue hurl Harley insults & you soon will

This will be your only Warning: Clean up your site if you want to continue to live....

DAGG Red&White Smash Crew

P.S. So let it be written, so let it be done.............



To which I replied


Yes, "Dagger." 

Inbred redneck stumpfuck hill scoggins who ride Harley Davidsons.  These are cretins who are too stupid to know how to correctly spell either the name of the ridiculous piece of antediluvian junk that they ride / worship or the name of the club to which they (supposedly) pledge allegiance.  That is how I define what an inbred redneck stumpfuck hill scoggin is and I'm very, very glad that you stepped forward as an example to show us just what one looked like.   Folks, "Dagger" is proof positive that rampant inbreeding mixed with habitual paint huffing can only lead to a life much less fulfilled.

Yes, people have often wondered about the many "threats" that I get.  This is one of the more polite ones and actually made me bust out laughing when I read it.  Part of the whole retarded Harley mindset requires that you don't really do any thinking at all (if you did any real thinking of your own, then you wouldn't be riding a Harley in the first place ...), instead, you simply smash anything you don't like or don't understand.  That's because the Harley owners know in their heart of hearts just how ridiculous the lifestyle is which they subscribe to and when you burst their fantasy, when you pop the bubble that they have lived in for so long and come to believe as true, well, that angers them and like most mental growth stunted individuals, they lash out at that which hurts them.  Intellectually, they have the debate skills of a mentally retarded two year old (and about the same attention span, give or take).

Here's the latest "threat" that I received and thought I would share with my visitors. 

For what it is worth, let me add just a little bit of clarification here; this is not a threat from the infamous Hell's Angels motorcycle club but rather it is a threat from the Hell's Angles motorcycle club, which, much to "Dagger's" chagrin, I can honestly and truly say that I have never heard of them before.  Maybe this club is composed of a bunch of uptight math professors who have to blow off the pressure of teaching all week in the ivory towers of academia by dressing up as outlaws and riding around on Harleys on weekends while trying to pose and pretend to be something that they aren't.  I really can't take someone who calls their self "Dagger" very seriously, I mean, come on!  You see stupid nick names like that only in reruns of RENEGADE, staring Lorenzo Lamos.

In my never ending quest to help the human race advance (despite the three steps backwards that people like "Dagger" here take), here are the definitions for the words "angel" and "angle."

"Angel" - an·gel (njl)  n.  1. A typically benevolent celestial being that acts as an intermediary between heaven and earth, especially in Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and Zoroastrianism.  2. A representation of such a being, especially in Christianity, conventionally in the image of a human figure with a halo and wings.  3. A guardian spirit or guiding influence.

"Angle" - an·gle (nggl) n.  Mathematics.  1. The figure formed by two lines diverging from a common point.  2. The figure formed by two planes diverging from a common line. 3. The rotation required to superimpose either of two such lines or planes on the other.  4. The space between such lines or surfaces.  5. A solid angle.  6. A sharp or projecting corner, as of a building.

So you're a member of the "Hell's ANGLES?"  Nope.  Sorry, I haven't heard of your club and I really can't take you very seriously.  The truth is, if you really had any balls to you, you wouldn't send your death threat from a free Australian email system, you'd send it yourself from your own personal email but I guess you're not that brave.  Funny, I thought I was supposed to fear you, not the other way around.  If you're so powerful, if you're so tough, then why are you hiding behind a disposable email account?  Do you want balls, "Dagger?"  It takes balls to take a stance on something and post your address and phone number with that stance.  It takes no balls to hide behind a disposable email account that is given away free for the asking in another country.

Fear?  No.  I have nothing but contempt and pity for posers like you.  I'm not scared of Harley owners.  Why?  Well, I think that the Drive By Truckers said it best when they sang "Dead is dead and it ain't no different than walking around if you ain't living.   Living in fear's just another way of dying before your time."  Life is too short to go around scared of other people.  Oh, and if the real Hell's Angels ever do find you, they'll probably throw you a blanket party for not only trying to push your weight around with their good name, but also for fucking it up right from the very start.  And people wonder why I make fun of Harley owners... it should be obvious by now and this email is just one more example of why I can't take anything or anyone who supports Harley Davidson with any amount of seriousness.

One of the nice things about the Harley mindset is that if any Harley rider ever did try to do something to me or my family, it would only prove what I said about them and their kind, not disprove it and that's the fallacy of their ridiculous logic.  I'm not scared of people like "Dagger" here or of the Hell's Angels (note correct spelling of the club name).  I've run into far worse in my life, far scarier, far more dangerous and far more intelligent.  A bunch of Harley riding bikers?  I could hold them at bay with a bar of Irish Spring soap, a wash cloth and a water hose.

"Dagger," you may claim to be part of a motorcycle gang that has chapters in 23 states and 25 countries but I'm a member of a gang that has chapters in every city, every county, every state of the United States as well as in every country around the world.  My gang is a whole hell of a lot bigger than your gang.  My gang is called "The Police."  Maybe you've heard of us in your travels. 

Chances are, you have...