A hog rider / owner called "Dale", who professes to understand Latin,
sent me this scrap of heavily used literary toilet paper via email.


Dale came out of the closet just long enough to say:

Salve te! (Yeah, and the Government is here to help you)

I see you obviously have enough venom to spread around on the internet as well as at home.

Aliquisne domum est?

Maybe you will read this and maybe your light only comes on when your mind is open?

Non rape me si placet!

I happen to like my Harley. Thank you. I suppose your expression of loathing for the Harley is understandable (a posteriori)considering the manufacturer of the vehicle and the destination are not why any serious biker really rides.(ever)

Scisne Latine?

Maybe you just jot down Latin quotes on your site (ipso facto) to let educated Catholics and people that may have had a classical education know that you stayed awake during the classroom sessions of Caesar's Gallic Wars?

Quid tempus est?

Wake up call! I just wanted to let you know that mind fucking the general population is easy (President Clinton proved that) but doing it as a personal forum of your personal entertainment and general derision of the human condition is a supercilious and noteworthy part of your delirium.

Habesne plus Budweiser? (you seriously ought to consider alcoholism) How long have you felt this way toward fellow humans and Harleys? Estne tutum? Well your marathon man rants read as if a Freudian skid mark on your mental drag strip toward dementia. Illud estne tuum? Excuse me if I inadvertently stubbed my toe on your microcephalic eggshell cranium.

(You did invite comments.)

Quod erat faciendum I do hope you have a speedy recovery (quod erat faciendum)


Regards from the rarely offended. (But, You do it so well.)

Vale te! Dale


headupass.jpg (18210 bytes)

This is Dale's perspective on life.  It must really be hard to ride like that, but somehow Dale manages...


______________    TO WHICH I REPLIED    _______________

Incredible! A shining example of a self-deluded quasi-intellectual with a cranial anal displacement complex. I salute you, sir, as being one of the better retorts I have received. I particularly liked the use of Latin throughout your reply. It only went to show that you are trying to prove, in a vain attempt, that your knowledge and command of the subject is more than mine, thereby falsely elevating yourself into a pseudo-generated perception of superiority. It failed from the first phrase.

Actually, my venom is directed at the sheep, or as I refer to them, the ‘sheepeople’ of the population. You know, the ones who ride Harleys, or wear Tommy Hilfiger clothes all the while screaming "I’m an individual!  I stand apart in the crowd!"

People are pathetic no will corporate and commercial image driven sheep. As for my mind being open, I guess that you see spending twice the amount for one quarter the product as being 'open minded' or ‘intelligent’?

When you can explain that ridiculous logic to me, I might think about buying a Harley. Until then, I will simply look at Harley riders as they pass (and they all look remarkably alike to be self-termed ‘individuals’) and think "Well, there goes another flock of ignorant nimrod sheep."

"I happen to like my Harley. Thank you. I suppose your expression of loathing for the Harley is understandable considering the manufacturer of the vehicle and the destination are not why any serious biker really rides."

Right.  Serious bikers ride serious bikes.   Pretend bikers ride pretend bikes.  I don't think it can get any simpler than that.  Most sheep like the grass that they eat. Most sheep don’t complain much, even when they are sheared. You are right, sheep don’t care about the manufacturer or the destination.  Sheep don't care about who owns them, they're just happy to be sheep, and thankful for the privilege to be part of something greater.  Sheep probably tell other farm animals that they 'just don't understand' what it is like to be part of the flock and to be a sheep.

Harley owners don’t care about anything but Harleys and Harley stuff and dressing in Harley accessories and buying Harley junk because to them, Harley is life.  Riding is life and riding takes on far more than actually riding.   Today, "riding" is looking like you are riding, even when you aren't.   Riding is showing the world that you own a Harley from the tips of your toes to the top of your head and from the desk and walls of your office to the vehicle you drive to the way you dress your pet. All typical Harley riders care about is the image that other pathetic sheep will impose upon them when they step off of a Harley. Harley’s are good for generating looks from people who don’t understand the first thing about motorcycles because Harley is a basic motorcycle.  It has the look, the sound, and of course, you can dress like you mean business.

But ultimately, a Harley is nothing more than a facade, and a rather hollow one at that.

To those of us who understand what a motorcycle is, and embrace technology, a Harley is a stuffed dinosaur, held up with string and tape, animated by a couple of old coots in Milwaukee.  It's all smoke and mirrors, shadow dances and light tricks to get the ignorant parts of the culture to stare wide eyed, purse their lips and go "oooooooooooo!" really softly.  A Harley is the world’s best selling motorized wheelchair for posers and wannabes. Why else would you buy 80 year old technology at today’s prices? Simply because you are a sheep, who wants to be seen, who wants others to look at you and go:

"My God, look at the size of that Harley! He must be a bad mo-fo!"

No, he’s a sheep. With lots of money and no brains.   It's his first bike, he didn't know a thing about motorcycles before yesterday, and if you wait three weeks, he's going to trash out that Harley by doing some stupid amateur move that if he had a lighter more agile bike, he might not have gone down.

"Maybe you just jot down Latin quotes on your site to let educated Catholics and people that may have had a classical education know that you stayed awake during the classroom sessions of Caesar's Gallic Wars?"

No. I use Latin quotes to give a certain flair to my site, to tie in a string of otherwise interesting but non-related quotes I remember from literature and history together.  The Latin also has a hidden meaning, it is a reference.  To what and about what I won't say.  Either you get it or you don't and like all of you tired old mantra chanting Milwaukee monks say "you wouldn't understand" because believe me, the real meaning behind those Latin quotes is far deeper than anything I bet the most educated Harley owner could ever come up with.   Think of it as a tribute to something obscure and wonderful that has nothing to do with motorcycles.

All in all, the Latin references work nicely.  I've had four other people email me with the correct answer to the questions I ask on my site.   What questions?  It's a vast riddle, truth be told, spread out over much of the site.   Its not scholar material, anyone could do it, well, not anyone. You would have to have at least a high school education, and be able to both read and write on a competent level. I think that anyone who tries to find some hidden anti-Harley agenda or chaotic meaning in it has too much time on their hands and is a complete semi-educated gibbon, but then I’m entitled to my opinions as you are entitled to yours. I have yet to have someone else’s opinion of me affect my life in any real manner. I truly appreciate you attempting to show me your "superior command" of a otherwise dead language. It really impressed me. Really. I’m not just trying to make you feel good. I was awed for all of … five seconds. Okay, it was really more like seven seconds, but I didn’t want to give you too much back.

Do you realize how much Harley and Latin have in common?   They're both dead, but still being used. The first is used almost exclusively by retards, the latter by scholars.  Well, at least in five hundred years, there will still be people using Latin...  Contrary to popular Milwaukee belief, time marches on and waits for no one, even those who think they can put it in a collector tin and sell it for twice market price.

"I just wanted to let you know that mind fucking the general population is easy (President Clinton proved that) but doing it as a personal forum of your personal entertainment and general derision of the human condition is a supercilious and noteworthy part of your delirium."

Sheep are fun to play with and easy to mind fuck. You seem like an intellectual, and you seem educated, so why you ride a Harley beats me. That would be like having the President of the United States live in a trailer park in Washington. The two just do not go together, one (education) implies vast mental capacity and the ability to logically reason your way out of life’s situations where the other (Harley) shows that you are willing to fall in with the flock, to buy into an image, and what is worse, to actually believe that what you are riding is a brick of gold, not a gold spray painted turd. I get quite a lot of mileage on the Harley stuff, especially since it was first put up and hasn’t changed in over 8 years, I doubted anyone who owned a Harley could read the big words, but I have been surprised. You just don’t put the adjectives "Harley owner" and "well educated" in the same sentence, nine times out of ten.  Those two terms are almost mutually exclusive and if not, then the term 'educated Harley owner' has got to be a runner up for the oxymoron list.

The simple truth is, people don’t like to have their lives pointed out to them that they are nothing more than ignorant trend humping fashion lemmings who think they are individuals but who are controlled by corporate image like they were Pavlov's dogs. People don’t like having to realize how pathetic their lives are, that they have been reduced to walking billboards for corporate America, and that includes (most especially) Harley owners. They want to be considered "individuals", to "stand out from the crowd", but when I talk to Harley owners, I'm always told that now they 'have lots of friends that they never had before' and that they 'are part of something much larger and wonderful'.

That sure sounds like they are describing a flock to me.   Flock behavior.  Corporate image recognition.  Automatic marketing reflexes and impulse buying generated through deeply ingrained brand loyalty rather than rational thought and common sense.  Fealty based on symbol rather than ideology.   It's truly sad when you put it out in black and white on paper.

Who would ride a bike named a "hog" or "hawg"? Damn! That’s dumb… and yes, I know HOG stands for Harley Owners Group, but still… What does a pig do? It roots around in its own fecal matter all day long. It is one of the dumbest, slowest, fattest animals on the Earth that exists only to serve as a food source for higher elements of the food chain.


That describes the typical Harley owner to a ‘T’! Now, if I was going to ride a motorcycle, it wouldn’t be named after a dumb animal who lives in shit. It would be something like ‘Tiger’ or ‘Bear’ or something strong and powerful and proud. A pig? Yeah, your bike is very porcine in its stature.  I'd rather have someone tell me that my bike has an urcine quality about it.

People are such sheep… they buy into anything that is shoved down their throats because they don't want to think for themselves. It is easier to subscribe to a big shiny image and move with the flock than it is to generate a thought on their own and walk alone.

Mind fucking the public is easy, you are very correct about that, because the public is generally ignorant and has the collective memory of a 90 year old. They watch the little talking box in their living room and it tells them what is right to think and do, which may or may not be the same today as it was yesterday or will be tomorrow. How else can you explain why Harley Davidson is still in business? After multiple bail outs, helping hands, that old dinosaur is still eating people’s money (ignorant people’s money) and shitting out gold painted turds that it hocks on the average sheepeople as solid gold, through and through, worth every penny and then some. Baaaaaa. Harley owners are the biggest flock of sheepeople in the world!  They deserve to be sheared of all of their money.

As for alcoholism, no thank you. I take my whiskey neat, in very small amounts, never to excess, and only then very infrequently. I don’t smoke (Harley Davidson cigarette, sir? I’ll just light it with my Harley Davidson cigarette lighter that I carry in a special HD stamped leather pouch on my HD stamped leather chaps…) nor do I do drugs. I’m not a sheep, therefore, I don’t fall prey to stuff like alcohol, tobacco, or drugs and the false media image that they convey or the empty dreams that they promise.

I don’t do things that ‘let me fit in’ with the rest of the sheepeople of this country. I just don’t see spending good money for inferior products, and I don’t understand other people doing it, unless they are simply ignorant uneducated buffoons with a big hole in their head that says "insert ideas here" around the circumference.

"How long have you felt this way toward fellow humans and Harleys?"

Oh, since I gained sentience and started working my way out of the flock of sheepeople. There are two kinds of people in this world, sheep and sheep herders. Which are you? I know which one I am.  I'll give you a clue.  I stand alone, I don't bleat woefully, and I don't graze with the large pack of pea brained conformists.  That should narrow it down for you.

"Well your marathon man rants read as if a Freudian skid mark on your mental drag strip toward dementia."

Damn.  You are so close to the Truth and ...  No.   Let's take it for what you have inserted as the meaning behind your words.   Gee. Now that is an original thought there because I can honestly say that no other Harley owner has ever said that to me.  Of course, you realize, if this gets popular, every Harley rider will be using that thought to me in an email because it is a good thought.  The fact that it is an original thought probably elevates it in price greatly, so you should make sure that you get your money's worth when you rent or sell it to other members of the flock.

Thank you, that is about the best compliment that any Harley owner who ever figured out how to type more than six words and string them together in a simple sentence has ever given me. I salute you. This one sentence is going to generate much mirth among my fellow thinkers. You may have just given me a bragging right, inadvertently of course, but one nonetheless.

"Excuse me if I inadvertently stubbed my toe on your microcephalic eggshell cranium."

What… wait. Something happened here... Oh, I see, I was expecting something that might have burned up a few of your irreplaceable brain cells in order to generate that kind of venomous attack, but there in the end your attack simply lost all forward momentum.  Now how could that have happened when it was off to such a wonderfully original start? Let’s go back and look at it, shall we?


I see your problem!  You were getting ahead of yourself and you tripped! You see, the first comment that you made referring to Freud and dementia was very good and very original.  However, this last part here about the "micro cephalic eggshell cranium" was simply useless conjecture added on in a vain attempt to make your mental barb heavier on the end.  Your mental spar at me is like the typical waitress at a Hooter's restaurant; top heavy, but not much above that.

I take back my compliment and award you instead the sum total of zero points for originality. You blew it, sir.  But you were close, oh so close, and then the originality streak just kind of petered out there at the end amid an amateur headlong rush into mediocrity.  The result was that you diluted the whole of your self imagined witty intellectual killing blow into a merely mundane comedy of an overly exaggerated and highly ineffectual swipe that was no more harmful than the batting of a kitten’s paw.


Sad, but more pathetic than sad in the final analysis.

The average consumer today is an ignorant, conformist, commercial swallowing, brand grazing, trend worshipping, fashion ruled nimrod who prostitutes their body, soul, and mind to the various corporate giants who supply them with original thoughts, flashy looks, and a custom made facade to slip into.  For the last forty years we have been taught by the liberals and the socialists that this is a good thing and that this is what the height of human existence means.

The truth of the matter is that you're all inferior mental gidgets prostituting yourself on the great big comfy bed of blind and unthinking corporate brand loyalty all the while you are getting jackhammer dry humped without mercy or even the God given courtesy of a simple 'thank you'.  That may not sound like the ideal situation, but then, look at all the benefits!  You don't have to think for yourself.  You don't have to choose or make complex decisions.  You are pre-programmed for brand recognition and all you have to do to prove your fealty is trade your money for loyalty and you get to be part of something much larger than you ever thought was possible.  This makes you feel good because so many people now like you and respect you for what you have chosen, not for who you are.  That has got to be the very definition of 'individual', now isn't it?

No.  You have taken the easy way out. You've bought your life, not earned it.  There's a very big difference and I'm sorry you can't see that.  Mentally sparring with you, Dale,  is about as cerebrally stimulating as masturbating with a tired old, worn out hand puppet, though no where near as thought provoking or, in the end, as deeply satisfying.  People really are just a bunch of grazing, corporate mantra bleating, conformist, brain dead sheep waiting to be sheared.

Et tu, Dale?

Apparently so…