Hainey Tells It Like It Frigging Is...

Hainey submitted this bit of personal philosophy to me several weeks ago.  I honestly thought that I had included it in the last update, but he was quick to remind me that I had not.  Natch.   So, apologies from the Dark One to Hainey, and a tip of the full face topper to some true words and even better advice.  -BE


After about 25 yrs of various imports, often several at once, another 7 years of Dyna Low Rider, and now on my 4th in a series of BMWs, the latest being a K1200RS, 130 hp sport touring bike, I've formed a few opinions / philosophies / observations of my own concerning motorcycles and those that ride them. If you're interested, read on, if not, hit delete.

Harley Davidson doesn't make a part that I can't break, and will not stand behind their product when I do.  By the time I built the motor enough to make adequate horsepower, and fixed the parts that broke or were defective, there were more after market parts than "Genuine H-D" on the Dyna. Oddly enough, I've never had that problem with other makes.

Motorcycles are like your kids. They are individuals, each having their good points and their flaws. You love them for differing reasons, but love them none the less.

Stay away from the masses.  I've lived too long and ridden too many miles to have a new rider cross a center line and take me out while he's gawking or riding side by side through the Black Hills, or on a county road for that matter.

I hate the "see and be seen" posers with a three day growth and the "attitude". Bad news dude, if I could whip you before you bought the tee shirt, I can still do it now that you're wearing it.

Speaking of attitudes, whining about discrimination against motorcyclists, all the while trying to put on airs that you're a badass to intimidate or impress the general public doesn't add up. That's like advertising a car for sale and listing it as a piece of junk. I doubt you'll get many buyers.

The logo tacked on every piece of property they own cracks me up. Jeez, it's just a freekin' motorcycle, and not even a particularly good one at that.

You are only as good as the equipment you use. After I switched to BMW, a friend from out of town I hadn't seen for a couple of years showed up and we went for a ride. He told me "you ride just as fast as you ever did, but now you don't slow down for the
curves". I didn't know I had to. The bike sure as hell doesn't know it has to. Compared to the Low rider, another 50 hp and ABS, not to mention tires and a chassis designed for the task makes a hell of a difference.

There are bikers, and there are motorcyclists, and there are wannabees. I could be classified as a biker, but prefer to think that I'm a
motorcyclist. I live and breathe motorcycles. All makes, all models, and ride with riders of them all, except for the wannabees discussed below.

I'm having an affair with the beemers right now, but when they catch on and everbody owns one, Ducati is next, although the Benelli Tornado looks mighty interesting.

My son grew up in a shop from the age of 8, went to MMI and is certified as an all make technician. He wants to be a biker, whatever the hell that is. He worked at a BMW shop, but gave it up because he got tired of adding accessories, since there is so little repair work needed on BMWs. He went to work at the local HD shop so that he can actually fix broken stuff. He's dyed in the wool HD, which makes for some interesting conversations. An afternoon with the K12 kinda gave him a little better insight into the other makes argument.

Wannabees, "live the lifestyle", ha! Ride to the next tavern. Bullshit about the latest lick em stick em chrome doodad, or the cool new shirt with the eagle or wolf plastered on it. Brainwashed, but it was a small load of laundry. What the hell does HD have to do with eagles, wolves or, for that matter, native Americans?

Never pass a motorcyclist on the side of the road.  I've turned around and hauled riders for gas, to a phone for help, etc. countless times. Real bikers/motorcyclists know that we're all in this together. Wannabees for the most part wouldn't think of doing that. In
that same vein, never take money if offered. just tell them that if they want to repay you, never pass a broke down bike without stopping to see if they need help.

There are assholes in all walks of life.  There are snobbish people riding all makes and models. To hell with 'em. I ride with folks that have similar interests, and enjoy meeting new ones, be it at a rest stop, gas pump or tagging along for a Saturday ride. Who give a rat's ass if a Winger, or a Beemer rider or a Harley rider waves or not. I'm too busy staying alive to pay attention or keep
score. The median across a busy interstate isn't there to socialize. I'd be thrilled if that was all I had to worry about.

The only reason you'll ever see my bike in the back of a truck, is if it's stolen.  I've been heavily involved in a number of rallies, primarily running gate security, and nothing pisses me off any worse than a Winnebago pulling a trailer full of bikes with license plates from a county 100   miles away. I ride in in the rain and sleep in a tent. They don't get much sympathy from me when I have to tell them there's no room for Winnie's in the park when camping space is at a premium and one of those things take up a dozen sites that could be used for tents. It's a bike rally, not a Winnie rally or a car rally. "I won't be back!". Good.