I spend a lot of time reading and rereading your “Best of owner feedback” articles. They never fail to make me laugh. I’m sure somewhere in one of your many rejoinders I’ve heard you mention a similar circumstance regarding all-too-well-known H-D clichés like the one that happened to me. You think it will never happen to you. Well, it happened to me.

First I’ll point out that I wasn’t even on my bike at the time. Nowhere near it. It was at home. I was at Wal-Mart with a friend looking for one of those inexpensive computer desks and talking about motorcycles. My friend has been thinking about buying a bike for some time. He kept hearing a lot of the guys at work talking about their Sunday rides and I guess it’s started to get to him. He asked my opinion on what he should get.

I started by asking him what he wanted out of a motorcycle. Did he want it to just putt around, cheap transportation, speed, or maybe a combination of all of them. He was swayed a little more to the cruiser side and I told him that was fine; just stay away from the H-D dealership in town. I had just barely started explaining that you don’t need to spend more than 10 grand for a good bike when this putz I’ll refer to as “Dude-Man” wearing a H-D “Live to ride, blah blah blah” shirt interjected with “Dude, Harleys are the best, man!” (Now you see where I came up with his little pseudonym?)

“Really? How so?”

“It’s American made, man…”

That’s where I cut in, “Stop! That is where you are wrong, dude! Saying Harleys are made in America is like saying the moon is made of green cheese.” After a short, stupid looking, glance I continued, “A good number of Harley’s components are made in little places like Japan, China, and Taiwan. They’re boxed up, sent here, and then the bikes are ‘assembled’ here. Harleys should be known as the ‘Assembled in America’ motorcycles.”

He asked me what type of bike I rode and I told him (GSX-R1000). I returned the question and was astonished at Dude-Man’s response.

“I ain’t got no bike”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m getting my license next month.”

I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. I couldn’t believe what just happened. I mean I’d heard of it happening, but I considered it more folklore or something equally as implausible. But no, they really exist. Morons, who have never even kicked their leg over a bike, spouting about the grandeur of Harley-Davidson. Re-damned-diculous!

I looked over at my friend, who seemed just as confused as good old Dude-man, grabbed him by the shoulder and said, “Lets go, I’ve heard enough.”

Totally amazing.