After the Milwaukee Burger, I came up with another little bit of humor which I inserted into a few newsgroups and let it take its course.  Lately I've been receiving this one back a lot so I know the saturation level is there.  Enjoy. -BE

Harley announces new engine for 2004 model year

Harley Davidson announced that in it will introduce the newest model of engine to their lineup, the DKH “Dickhead” Super Single. Where the engine differs is in design.  It will be a massive, eighty eight cubic inch single cylinder air cooled motor supported on twin ball bearing mounts for maximum rigidity.  The shape of the valve cover is instantly both easily recognizable and unforgettable.  Of course, it will be shaft driven for the final drive.

“It’s definitely a work of art.” Miriam Baxter said, looking at the test model.  “I get excited on so many levels just looking at it.”

When asked about the new changes in design philosophy, a spokesman at the Motor Company said “we wanted to give the customers something they could really relate to. We think that the new Dickhead really represents our traditional, core buyers and what they look for in a Harley Davidson product.”

When asked why the company has gone to a single cylinder model, we were told that vibration was far less than the older V-twin model even though the Dickhead still has all the power of the classic V-twin which it will eventually replace in the years to come.  The sound of the new engine is somewhat different as well, being only a single cylinder, but the exhaust pipe is chrome plated and rather huge with one tester even referring to it as “veiny” in nature.  Our test model was evidently a press beater, and the chrome pipe showed signs of blueing through constant flogging.

And what does the new Dickhead engine sound like?

“Where the classic sound of the old engine was similar to ‘potato-potato,’” Said a HD design team spokesman, “this new engine sounds more like ‘unf-unf’ and it only gets faster in tempo the more you get down on it.”

“There’s just something about this new engine.” One test rider commented.  “I can’t really explain, but when I hop on this thing, I know it’s going to be a great ride.”

The new Dickhead will take its place among the ranks of other notable Harley engines such as the Knucklehead, the Panhead, and the Shovelhead.  The spokesman added “We believe the Dickhead is really going to fill some holes in the market.”

Most of the current models will receive a new Dickhead engine as will a yet unnamed new model.  Our inside sources say that the mystery model is probably going to be a Dickhead paired with an entry level Sportster, which really won’t be all that surprising.

At first, look for a slow trickle of Dickheads to start showing up at the dealerships as the company closes down its hundredth anniversary celebration and ramps up for full production of the new models.  Corporate sources also tell us that soon after that, all of the dealerships should be chock full of Dickheads.

“It will be standing room only when all of the Dickheads hit the sales floor.” A spokesperson commented.

“The Harley Dickhead.  It’s what we’re going to base our new corporate sales policy around.  We’re totally committed to getting all the Dickheads we can into our dealerships.” The company spokesman said. “That’s where we’re really going to see a jump in profit, from sales made off of all of the Dickheads."

The Harley Davidson Dickhead.  If you haven’t seen one yet, just stop by your local Harley Davidson dealership where you’ll find several on display.


Eric Randall submitted the following technical drawings of the new Harley Davidson Dickhead motor.  Thanks, brother!


"Notice the oiler hole at the top of the valve cover. This is to allow oil to come out under certain running conditions.
Can't have a Harley that doesn't spew oil now can we
?"  -Eric