"Tits Are On My List"
Sung to the tune of Hall and Oates "Kiss On My List"

There came a time when I started dating Cindy and we would ride around Hattiesburg cruising, talking and listening to songs on the radio, namely the local classic rock station WHSY 104.5 FM.  One day the old Hall and Oates song "Kiss on my List" came on the radio and I don't know why but I just started singing out loud only I replaced the word "kiss" with  the word "tits" and Cindy was shocked (that was a time before I, as she fondly says, "stole her innocence").  Her expression was priceless, sitting there in the passenger seat of my '93 GMC S15 Sonoma.  I think I did it for shock value because Cindy was a "good girl" when I met her but I changed all of that in short order (and without a lot of protest from her in doing so, either).  So, here's what happens when you take a classic oldie from the 1980's and change one word and the song has an entirely different meaning.  Well, really two words ... I had to change the lyrics from "Tits is on my list" to "Tits are on my list" for correct English so technically, two words were substituted into the song.



My friends wonder why
I call you all of the time
What can I say
I don't feel the need
To give such secrets away
You think maybe I need help
No, I know that I'm right
I'm just better off
Not listening to friends' advice
When they insist on knowing my bliss
I tell them this
When they want to know
What the reason is
I only smile when I lie
Then I tell them why

(Because your tits) your tits
Are on my list
(Because your tits) your tits
Are on my list
Because your tits are on my list
Of the best things in life
(Because your tits) your tits
Are on my list
Because your tits) your tits
I can't resist
Because your tits are on my list
When I turn out the light

I go crazy wondering
What there is to really see
Did the night just take up your time
'Cos it means more to me
Sometimes I forget what I'm doing
I don't forget what I want
Regret what I've done
Regret you
I couldn't go on
And if you insist
On knowing my bliss
I'll tell you this
If you want to know
What the reason is
I'll only smile when I lie
Then I'll tell you why

(Because your tits) your tits
Are on my list
Because your tits) your tits
I can't resist"Tits On My List"

My friends wonder why
I call you all of the time
What can I say
I don't feel the need
To give such secrets away
You think maybe I need help
No, I know that I'm right
I'm just better off
Not listening to friends' advice
When they insist on knowing my bliss
I tell them this
When they want to know
What the reason is
I only smile when I lie
Then I tell them why

(Because your tits) your tits
Are on my list
(Because your tits) your tits
Are on my list
Because your tits are on my list
Of the best things in life
(Because your tits) your tits
Are on my list
Because your tits) your tits
I can't resist
Because your tits are on my list
When I turn out the light

I go crazy wondering
What there is to really see
Did the night just take up your time
'Cos it means more to me
Sometimes I forget what I'm doing
I don't forget what I want
Regret what I've done
Regret you
I couldn't go on
And if you insist
On knowing my bliss
I'll tell you this
If you want to know
What the reason is
I'll only smile when I lie
Then I'll tell you why

(Because your tits) your tits
Are on my list
Because your tits) your tits
I can't resist
Because your tits is what I miss
When I turn out the light

[Instrumental Interlude]

Listen, girl

(Because your tits) your tits
Are on my list
(Because your tits) your tits
Are on my list
Because your tits are on my list
Of the best things in life
Oh, man (Because your tits) your tits
Are on my list
(Because your tits) your tits
I can't resist
Because your tits are on my list
Of the best things in life

Because your tits are what I miss
When I turn out the light

[Instrumental Interlude]

Listen, girl

(Because your tits) your tits
Are on my list
(Because your tits) your tits
Are on my list
Because your tits are on my list
Of the best things in life
Oh, man (Because your tits) your tits
Are on my list
(Because your tits) your tits
I can't resist
Because your tits are on my list
Of the best things in life


 

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