Why People In Lamar, Jones, Jackson and
Should Never Be Allowed To Drive On Paved Roads.
That's my personal opinion, but after driving with these people for 15 years, you might go so far as to say it is a professional opinion as well, documented by almost a decade and a half of experience with the subject matter.
"Wait just a minute, here!" you will say, if you are from Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County, Mississippi. "That's a broad statement to make! What gives you the right to criticize me or any other driver from Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County?"
How can I say all of this? What gives me the right to release to the world what everyone in Mississippi has known for decades?
I'm a veteran of the silent campaign to bring drivers education to Lamar, Jones, Jackson and Harrison County, Mississippi. Because if these three counties already have a drivers education program in operation, you sure can't tell it from the class graduates that they are turning out!
I hate stupid people. I really hate stupid people. But the people I really, really hate are those who are stupid behind the wheel of a vehicle. God must truly love stupid people because he made so many of them. Most of them live in Lamar, Jones, Jackson and Harrison County, Mississippi. So, if you are a tourist, or you have just moved to our beautiful state and you live in an county that is next to or you have to drive through Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County, Mississippi, then consider this your formal training on how to spot and deal with the state's worst motorized imbeciles.
That's right, it would be bad enough if these people just stayed in their own counties, but they're motorized, mechanized, and mobile! That means there is a large exodus of idiots behind the wheel, idiots driving around in two and three ton sledge hammers, with no right to even be there. These idiots can invade your county, frequent your place of business, and generally act their normal, ignorant self anywhere they please. And since they are mobile, they very well could get lost and cross over a state boundary. Don't laugh. If you are from Louisiana, Alabama, or Tennessee, the last thing you want is a Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County driver crossing over your state line. They may stay there and breed, reducing the genetic IQ of your gene pool within a short period of time.
Thank God the idiot drivers from Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County are not air-mobile. Or Mississippi would be apologizing to a lot foreign countries. I can see the headlines now; "Costa Rica declares war on Mississippi after Mississippi invades its sovereign lands with an influx of idiots." I'd declare war on a foreign power too, if they sent in an army of imbeciles to tear down my social and domestic infrastructure. Its subversion and sabotage by idiocy. Pure and simple.
If you are planning on visiting our great state, please be forewarned. If you travel Highway 49 South, Highway 49 North, Highway 98 East, Highway 98 West, Highway 59 North, or Highway 59 South, you will encounter some of the stupidest people you have ever seen in the United States. If you are in Forrest county, Mississippi, you will have idiots and stupid people surrounding you. This is a bad situation to be in. You will have idiots to the North (Jones), the West (Lamar), and to the South (Harrison). The only escape is to the East ...
You will encounter these stupid people in traffic mostly. It is funny, and probably requires great scientific research into the matter, but most Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County drivers don't act bad when they are out of their vehicles! Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County drivers only act like total idiots when they are behind the wheel! It's like the vehicle possesses them, and they suffer from demonic induced stupidity, the scale of which is Old Testament in scope and breadth.
Most people want to talk about education in Mississippi, but I want to gripe about DRIVERS EDUCATION in Mississippi. People in Lamar, Jones, Jackson and Harrison Counties are not taught the meaning of the common traffic signs displayed above. That's obvious just from watching anyone from the tri-county stupidity zone drive.
On a whole, most drivers from Lamar, Jones, Jackson and Harrison Counties either don't understand the meaning of the above displayed signs, or they think that these traffic guidance laws only apply to other people who are not from Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison county.
I mean, if you have a Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County tag on your car, you are a privileged person! You get to ignore the traffic laws that would inconvenience you. Laws like having to stop at a stop sign, having to yield to traffic moving three times faster than you, having to miss parking in that first spot right next to the door (the one marked off in yellow and blue with that little funny symbol of the guy in the wheelchair), having to ignore that choice parking area that is striped off in front of the grocery or department store ("what does "Fire Lane" mean, maw? Is that something to do with huntin'?"), and of course, you don't have to drive in the right lane on the highway, with all the other plebeians and 'little' people. How below your social status!
If you are from Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County, Mississippi, you can't be bothered with all the little things in traffic. You have places to go! Like to the grocery store for Pampers, Skoal, and Old Milwaukee. You have to get to the doctor's office to see your patients, or you have to get to Timberton for 18 holes of golf. You went to medical school, or you didn't even graduate high school, but by God, you are from Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County, Mississippi, and you have the tag to prove it! You're going to show the rest of the world what it means to drive like a moron, even if it kills you or several other good people in the process.
Why do these people drive like total morons? I don't know, but I can give you some pretty good examples and let you try to figure it out.
Lamar, Jones, Jackson and Harrison County drivers are notoriously bad drivers. Especially on the highway. My travels take me all over the state, but the most experience I get is from traveling through these three counties. Let's talk about Lamar county. They're right next door.
Traveling from Marion County, through Lamar County, and into Forrest County every morning and evening is an exercise in rage control directed against some of the worst drivers in the state, probably the country, and these people invariably have one thing in common. They all have a Lamar County tag on their car. Traveling down the highway, these Lamar County drivers will wait until you get right up to the entrance road to the highway before they pull out in front of you. There will be a free lane available, but they'll wait until you are about two car lengths away, doing 65 miles an hour, and then they will ease out into your lane and wonder why you look at them the way you do, why are you blowing your horn at them, and why did you jerk your car into the other lane to dodge them. To them, they're driving normal! It's YOUR responsibility to get out of THEIR way! They can't be bothered with you. You should yield to them! After all, you are driving through THEIR county! You don't live there, they do, and they have every right to use the paved roads in any way that they like, regardless of you or anyone else. Only they matter in the great scheme of things.
These are the kind of people who go one mile an hour faster than you and take ten minutes to pass you, from the time that they moved over behind you to the time that they finally pull back in front of you. Meanwhile, there are twenty other cars waiting for the Lamar County driver to creep past you so that they can get on down the highway. In situations like this, I generally speed up, get far enough ahead of the Lamar County driver so that the others can now pass THEM in the right lane, and get on with their lives. I'm a considerate driver, and I feel that I have to sometimes go out of my way to clear traffic when a total moron from Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County is clogging up the flow. The sad fact is, now that I'm six or seven car lengths ahead of this moron, they will still stay in the passing lane, creeping up on me one mile an hour, taking another ten minutes and ten miles to get back to my rear bumper, totally oblivious to the fact that they should be traveling in the right lane all of this time.
Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County Quick Clue #1-
If people are passing you on the
then you are in the wrong lane!
This sign was installed for a reason. Memorize it. Learn it. Live it. I don't care what you are doing, who you are, what your job is, or how much money you make, if you are not passing someone RIGHT NOW, if you are not going to turn left in the next quarter mile, you need to steer your vehicle out of the left lane and merge back into the right lane. The left lane is not yours. It never was. It never will be. Realize this and wake up.
If you are passing through Lamar County, look for the slower moving traffic in the passing / fast lane that refuses to move over. Especially if you are passing East on Highway 98 from 6:00am to 9:00am in the morning and West on H98 from 5:00pm in the afternoon all the way up to 7:00pm in the evening. Look for the drivers who are approaching the highway from side roads and suddenly floor their vehicles, running the incoming traffic stop sign, and darting across four lanes of traffic, right in front of you, because they simply couldn't be bothered or inconvenienced to come to a complete stop (hey, it's the law!!!) and be forced to wait five extra whole seconds for you to pass. No, they see you coming, floor it, and make you slam on breaks, hauling down from 65mph to 20mph and leaning on your horn, and then they look at you with this dirty scowl like it's you who's in the wrong.
Morons. You couldn't say that they were ignorant, because to me ignorance means that you don't know any better. Being stupid means that you know better and you just don't do it because you're stupid. Most Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison county drivers are stupid. They know better, they just don't care.
L.A.M.A.R. stands for Low Amount of Mentally Advanced Resources. I.E. a minute amount of gray matter residing within the cranium. It can also stand for Large Amount of Morons, A**holes, and Retards, but being of a scientific, curious mindset, I prefer the first classification.
Another classic example is that most Lamar County drivers are lazy. You see, if someone from Lamar County is leaving Forrest County and going home, and they have to turn left off of Highway 98 West thirty miles down the road, then they are going to stay in the left lane, all thirty miles to home in the left lane, just for their convenience. I mean, it kind of makes sense, doesn't it? You live off the left side of the highway, so why shouldn't you stay on the side of the highway where you are going to have to turn off and go home? Who cares if you will be driving slower than other traffic in the passing lane for 30 minutes? And what are all of these other cars doing riding your bumper and flashing their lights and honking their horns and passing you on the right. That's a free lane that's open. It's your right to drive in the left lane if you want to. I mean, you pay your taxes, right? It's your county, not theirs. You can drive any way you want in YOUR county!
Wrong!!!!! And for ONE very good reason.
That's right! It's that sign again! Remember seeing it out your left window? You know, when your head was turned so you couldn't see all the other drivers shouting and cursing you and waving out international hand gestures reserved for getting the attention of stupid people! Slower traffic keep right. It's the law. Not a Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County law, but a state, nay, an interstate, all 50 states law. You drivers from Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County are NOT exempt from this law. I hate morons who drive in the left lane, and if you drive in the left lane, I don't care how fast you are going, you are a moron. I don't care if you are a graduate with honors from Harvard or Mississippi's only surgeon capable of brain transplants and curing with a touch, you are still a moron. If you are the greatest person alive today, and you do stupid stuff, that's how people judge you.
The left lane is for passing. Sure, pass five, ten, fifteen cars, but when the highway is clear ahead of you, GET RIGHT!!!! Don't stay in the left lane. That's being a moron. If you pass a car or two, and it is going to take you more than 500 feet or thirty seconds to pass the next car in the right lane ahead, then please, move over, get in the right lane, and when it comes time to pass this next vehicle, THEN you can move over into the left or passing lane and pass the vehicle. Please be sure to move over again right when you finish passing.
Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County Quick Clue #2-
Other drivers riding your bumper, honking
their horn, flashing their lights, and making rude gestures are trying to tell you
In case you are wondering what message they are trying to convey to you, it's pretty simple.
YOU ARE IN THE WRONG LANE AND
OTHER PEOPLE A GREAT AMOUNT OF INCONVENIENCE.
Too many people from Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County are plagued with what I call 'passing hypnotism'. This is a scientific fluke which operates similarly to 'road hypnosis'. Simply put, some drivers from Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County simply get hypnotized by the left lane. They move over, and suddenly, they are in a clear lane! Look at all that traffic over there in the right lane that has to be passed. Hurry, hurry! Oh, it's just easier to stay in the left lane and not worry about weaving in and out. It's easier to be stupid than to be considerate. Oh, the hell with it. I'm going to pass all of those cars anyway, why not just stay in the left lane and not have to worry about it. If I stay in the left lane, I'll pass all of those cars eventually. Well, I just passed that slow moving car, but look ahead! There, five miles ahead is a big rig. I'll just stay in the left lane until I pass him as well. Then I'll move back over. Blah, blah. There is no excuse, really.
Because its inconsiderate. It's wrong. And its a moron thing to do. But hey, you people from Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County wrote the book on how to drive like a moron. Chapter and verse.
It's very frustrating. Going to work every morning is an exercise in dodging idiots and trying to second guess people who should never have had a drivers license given to them. These same people don't understand that when you come up behind them, and flash your lights or honk your horn, that means that they should move to the right lane and let you pass. Oh no! These people couldn't care less.
Once again. Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County drivers, take note. This is a free lesson and it can only help you! If people are flashing their lights behind you, or honking their horns, or making gestures that you've only seen at an Eddie Murphy concert, or they are passing you on your RIGHT side, then you are in the wrong lane, and you need to move over into the right lane to free up traffic. Don't get huffy or mad. It is you, the Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County driver, who is wrong and at fault, not the people behind you. It is you, the Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County driver, who is being a moron. In order to facilitate (hey, that's a big word!) the flow of traffic, we ask you to move over and keep right. If you need to turn left off of the highway, please turn your blinker on, wait until there is no traffic in the left lane, slowly move over, and then move into the turn lane. You will need to do this about a half a mile to a mile before you actually turn off the highway. It is considered very bad manners and the hallmark sign of an idiot to cut across two lanes of traffic and into a turn lane at the last second. This last etiquette example may also come as a shock to you drivers from Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County, but it's an etiquette rule that the rest of us drivers have lived with for a long time.
Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County Quick Clue #3
HANG UP AND DRIVE !
That's right! Put down your cell phone, and pay attention to the road. You can talk to the kids later. You can tell the wife how much you love her in a little while. You can talk to your buddies when you get home. You can call the coach to tell him what time you will pick up your adorable little soccer players when you get home! Until Lamar, Jones, Jackson, and Harrison county wide IQs show some improvement, and their driving abilities as well, I think it should be a misdemeanor offence, punishable by citation, and fine, for anyone with a tag from one of these four counties to be operating a wireless communications device while attempting the Herculean task of driving. They can barely figure out how to drive, and now they're going to try to do something else while they are driving? Diverting their attention?! I think not. Hang up and drive! Nuff said.
Now to some warning areas for tourists and fellow Mississippi drivers regarding Lamar county.
One really infuriating area is located about halfway into Lamar County, at the Bellevue entrance onto the highway. Here, you have the four lane highway, two lanes East and two lanes West, with another two lane highway intersecting it on the 90 degree. This is where Sumrall and Oak Grove (both hotbeds of idiot drivers) dump out onto Highway 98 and it is where good drivers meet some of the stupidest drivers to be found. There are stop signs for traffic crossing over the highway, and yield signs and runoffs for traffic entering the highway. This is an accident site waiting to happen, because this is one area where you have four lanes of East and West bound traffic, moving at 65 miles an hour, and you have two stop signs and four yield signs (none of which mean anything to the average Lamar county driver).
What happens every morning?
Well, the Lamar County drivers hardly ever understand what a YIELD sign means, they just keep going 55mph or faster, hanging their vehicles on two wheels as they force their way into traffic. And if you are approaching this intersection, expect to see people just ignore the stop sign and run right across the highway. This is usually done in pickup trucks and other assorted redneck parade vehicles. Again, the fine drivers of this County will often pull right out in front of heavy traffic, into a lane full of traffic when the other lane is free. On the other side of the highway, the other Lamar County driver will then cross the median, and pull into the lane that all of the regular, fast moving traffic has had to move over in order to avoid the first idiot. What's the total picture? You have ten cars, all doing 65 to 70mph, down the four lane, heading East. Then you have a Lamar county driver from Oak Grove pull out (ignoring the YIELD sign) into the right lane of traffic, slowly building up speed. It will take them another mile to get their old beater up to highway speeds. At the same time, the Lamar County driver from Sumrall, on the opposite side of the highway, has seen the driver from Oak Grove pull out and thinks "Well, he made it, now I can go." and the driver from the left side of the highway pulls out into the left lane of the East bound highway. So, those ten or fifteen cars and trucks, all moving at 65mph or faster, are now faced with an intersection where two slower moving vehicles have just pulled out into traffic, each occupying one lane of traffic, and forcing the other faster moving vehicles to begin an intricate dance of braking and maneuvering in order to avoid a multi-car pile up. It's just pure stupidity and there is no excuse for it.
Coming into Hattiesburg, the highway has been widened to six lanes, with one lane being clearly marked as a turn lane to each side. Every few hundred feet, besides the lane being bordered by SOLID lines (which you should NEVER, NEVER cross over. Oh, sorry, that rule is only taught in drivers Ed in counties that don't include Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison County), it has lots of turn arrows painted on the asphalt, CLEARLY denoting that this lane is a turn lane only. Well, yes, you guessed it, the Lamar County drivers can't even read symbols, so to them, this is just a high speed passing lane, or a lane to just drive down all the way into Hattiesburg. Like one of those special commuter lanes, this lane has turned into a special LAMAR COUNTY DRIVER ONLY lane. People entering from the Oak Grove Road entrance will use this TURN LANE for passing or either just to head on into Hattiesburg. The end of the TURN LANE goes right, and forces traffic to turn into the Wal-Mart Supercenter parking lot. At the end of the TURN LANE is the familiar striped curve indicating that TRAFFIC IN THE LEFT LANE MUST TURN LEFT. However, there is a third lane of the highway just past this striped off guidance marker, and most Lamar county drivers simply keep on running straight, through the TURN LEFT NOW! painted section and then on into the third lane of the highway. It's very infuriating and nothing but stupid.
Two other areas of Lamar County that are home to many, many idiots are Canebrake and Lake Serene.
Both of these hotbeds of idiocy are what are termed 'controlled access environments', meaning that they are very exclusive rich subdivisions with little identification stickers or membership dues and very strict ordinances to live there. You know, poser-ville.
Canebrake is a very exclusive neighborhood, full of doctors, lawyers, and other assorted rich people who feel the need to live separate from everyone else who isn't "country club material". It's termed a 'controlled access development' which is politically correct for 'separatist retreat'. Segregation by wealth is what it amounts to.
You probably have one of these little separatist retreats where you live, you know, the kind with the landscaped entrance, only one lane in and out, and those are straddled by a small security office with a little security guard at the entrance. This is Bubba, who doesn't even carry a gun, and has a little pickup truck (like a Toyota) with a little magnetic "Canebreak Security" sign on each door, and possibly a plug-in Q-beam and a red flashing light he can put on the dash and pretend he's a real crime fighter. Like the security guard would ever be able to stop a determined effort to get into this place. "Stop or I'll call you a bad name!" You know, the kind of separatist retreat that has the nice man-made lake with a club house, $150,000 lots surrounding the lake, $300,000 homes, and your neighbors are Ken and Barbie. Perfect, but then you're paying a lot of money for it to be just that way.
You see where I'm going don't you. Rich people are some of the most stupid drivers of all. They can afford to be! Insurance? Hah. Trivial. Crashes and collisions? Hey, the Volvo is the world's safest car. They'll walk away from the wreck, will you? But then, that doesn't matter. They have the world's safest car, so they can drive like total idiots. And don't even get me started on Lincoln Navigators. I thought the Toyota Landcruiser was a poser SUV, but the Lincoln Navigator rates as the King of Poser SUVs. If you drive one of these, you are a sad, sad individual with entirely too much money for your own good. A four wheel drive Lincoln Towncar? Hahaha (repeat until you pass out from lack of oxygen). That's what rich people with no brains drive. Why? Because they are too dumb to buy something useful! I'd be surprised if any SUV out in Canebreak came with a 4 wheel drive option, and if it did, you can sure believe that it was never purchased to go off road (gives you 'real man' bragging rights when you drive your 4WD Jeep Cherokee around the smooth paved surface of the twisty, curving road surrounding the artificial lake. Wear your plaid lumberjack shirt as well, the one with the Tommy label in it.)
Anyway, the mentality of the local Canebreak or Lake Serene home owner seems to flow with that of typical Lamar County residents as well, maybe even more so. These doctors and lawyers and other professionals, in their Jaguars, their Porsches, their BMWs, their Audis, and yes, even one Acura NSX (although the way that the NSX owner drives, you'd think he was a 15 year old who just got his license), they all act the same way and drive just as bad as anyone else out in Lamar County. In fact, they seem to think that the left lane from Canebrake to Hattiesburg has been especially reserved for their own private use. I think it's in the contract that they sign, along the lines of unlimited use of the lake and clubhouse, they also get to drive in the left lane going and coming.
These idiots will pull out into traffic, often narrowly missing getting hit by someone else or hitting someone else, and then proceed to toodle along at just below the speed limit in the left lane. Totally oblivious to the fact that they are not only tying up traffic and inconveniencing other drivers, but generally snubbing off the rest of the world whom they couldn't bother to give the time of day. Do they ever move over and act like normal drivers, do they ever give consideration to how they are driving? Hardly ever. It's sad and infuriating at the same time. To think that these people, who represent some of the most well educated minds in the community, the very core of so-called 'polite' society, act like total mental retards when they get behind the wheels of their Lexuses and Lincoln Navigators, foregoing all social graces, and driving like untrained barbarians.
The funny thing is, going back home after work each day, Canebreak is on the right, but most of these people drive in the left lane until right before Canebreak, where they whip over into the right lane and then turn to go home. It's got to be some kind of group retardation going on, the opposite of a group mind or collective consciousness. I'd term it, scientifically, a collective retardation. Ignorance shared by the masses and actually fed and strengthened to heretofore unknown limits.
In the great city of Hattiesburg, you'll see Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison county residents parked in NO PARKING zones, you'll see them in handicapped parking places when they don't have one piece of handicapped status identification on their car (usually, its some redneck sitting in the car or truck with their window rolled down, the vehicle idling, while whoever else was with them is just running in 'for a few things'. In the last two days of going to Blockbuster video, I saw on two separate occasions, a Lamar County tag equipped vehicle which had pulled sideways into the front of the store, taking up three parking places, just so the owner of the pickup truck could go in and 'get just one movie'.
Why is this? Well, that's because Lamar County residents live in Lamar County, but they work in Forrest County. It's kind of like the boat people, only on wheels. Every morning and every evening, there is a flood of bad drivers that stream in from the various side roads and old crumbling highways in Lamar County to invade Forrest County like a plague of locusts. I would have no problem with Lamar County residents, if they could just drive. I'm sure that they are perfectly fine outside of their vehicles, but I've seen nothing but ignorance behind the wheel, so that's what I'm basing my opinion on.
That's my whole gripe with Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison county drivers. They show no intelligence, manners, or common sense when they get behind the wheels of their vehicles. Ever. It's gotten so bad, that people in Marion and Forrest County often heckle each other, saying "You drive like you're from Lamar County." If a Lamar County driver were going cross country, from Mississippi to Los Angeles, and they knew that they were going to have to turn left inside the LA city limits, they would probably stay in the left lane of the highway all the way from Mississippi to LA. Yes, it's that bad.
So, if you are passing through the great state of Mississippi, please, let me apologize beforehand if you have to drive through Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison county. Please be forewarned. I'm sure that where ever you are from, you too have a similar situation. I'm just trying to make your stay in our great state more pleasant, and I want to assure you that not everyone in Mississippi drives like the people do in Lamar, Jones, Jackson or Harrison county.
LAB EXERCISE- STUDY OF MORON DRIVERS
Here's a final test question. Let's set up a controlled environment for a laboratory test, using various readily available test subjects and stimulus.
We'll start out by setting up the test environment. Let's take the Super Wal-Mart Center on Highway 98 West. This is a very large department store with a huge parking lot, easily fitting a thousand cars before being filled to capacity. For the test situation, we will evacuate the parking lot. No cars at all will be allowed into the parking lot which will be completely empty at the beginning of the experiment. We will allow the store to stay open and be fully manned by its normal staff. We will also institute some incentive in the form of a very large store wide sale.
Into this controlled environment, we will inject our four test subjects. One test subject and their daily driven vehicle, with one subject taken from Lamar, Jones, Jackson, and Harrison county. None of the test subjects are handicapped. None of the test subject vehicles have any identification of handicapped privileged parking status and none are emergency service vehicles (fire, rescue or police).
We let these four subjects enter into the controlled test environment and observe the results. The test run will take five minutes. Please make your observations now and we will compare them with actual test results.
LAB EXERCISE TEST RESULTS- STUDY OF MORON DRIVERS
After five minutes, we have observed the following results. The four test subjects have arrived at their final positions in the test environment. Out of the 1000 free parking places available, you should have noted which four parking spaces the test subjects would choose. Please score yourself accordingly.
One test subject is found to have parked in a handicapped parking zone. Please remember that none of the test subjects was indicated as being handicapped nor were any of the subject vehicles identified as being able to park in such areas. Bonus points are awarded if you correctly identified the handicapped parking space closest to the front entrance to the store as the final target of one of the test subjects.
One test subject is found to have parked in the FIRE LANE. Remember, that none of the test vehicles are emergency service vehicles (fire, rescue, or police). Bonus points are awarded if you correctly stated that this vehicle was also left running, with a small child in a child seat strapped into the front passenger seat. Bonus points can also be awarded if you correctly added that additionally, the flashing hazard / warning lights could be left on for this vehicle, or a passenger (either a non-essential family member or in-law) could be left in the idling car. The car would therefore be 'occupied' and it would not be considered to be 'parked' in the FIRE LANE. This would provide the excuse needed by this test subject for their parking choice and would provide all the justification that they need. Congratulations are in order if you got this answer correct. This was a lengthy answer with many sub-parts.
One test subject is found to have parked diagonally in the middle of one of the parking rows. Expertly maneuvering their test vehicle, the test subject has managed to place one wheel in each of four different parking spaces, giving ample space around their own vehicle, but taking up four parking spaces instead of the courteously allowed single parking space. The test vehicle is also expertly maneuvered into the four parking spaces in such a way that no other vehicle can enter any of the parking spaces.
One test subject is found to be sitting in their car, idling, in front of the main entrance to the store. The test vehicle is stopped right in front of the concrete ramp leading up onto the sidewalk and into the entrance to the store, thus blocking the entrance and exit of other customers with shopping carts into and out of the parking lot. This test subject will sit here in their car, cursing, and waiting impatiently for one of the other three test subjects to move their vehicle so that the last test subject can get a prime parking space.
Bonus points are awarded if you identified one of the test vehicles as having a current inspection sticker but no working brake lights.
Bonus points are awarded if you identified one of the vehicles as having an expired tag and an expired safety inspection sticker. The owner of the vehicle, one of the test subjects, will also be found to be driving either without a license, or with an expired license.
This concludes the lesson for today.