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Christopher T. Shields (aka "BLACK ECHO") ...

... has more than 30 years of experience working with those strange, little humming boxes that can compute Pi to the millionth decimal point while making annoying little beeps and displaying incoherent messages like "Abort. Retry. Fail."

... is a truly amazing individual; a rebel, a lover, a jack of all trades, a true Renaissance Man for the 21st century. That and he's just pretty damn cool.

... is a loner by nature. He can count his friends on one hand. With a few fingers and a thumb missing.

... is befriender, protector, and keeper of cats.

... can cook (really well), he cleans up after himself, he can do laundry, he's learned to tie his own shoes, make his own bed, and he can dress himself (sometimes really snazzy).

... writes complex html code and knows how to make fire.

... isn't black.

... does not base decisions or friendships on sex, race, creed, color, religion, national origin or planet of birth.  He is simply much higher on the food chain than that.

... can be extremely vulgar in four different languages, he mixes dirty words and phrases together in complex chains that sometimes make no sense at all but provide a great outlet with which to vent his anger. He tries not to do this in public. Very often.  Heavy emphasis on the word tries.

... likes the comic strips Dilbert and Redmeat.  He's also a big, big fan of Calvin and Hobbes, The Far Side, and Bloom County (RIP).

... is potty trained.

... owns, maintains, and enjoys really fast Japanese sport bikes and high performance American sports cars. He is both an accomplished rider and driver.  He wears fingerless driving gloves every time he gets behind the wheel (of anything).  In fact, there are only three things that he takes off his fingerless driving gloves for; sleeping, eating and bathing.  No, sex was purposely left out of that short list.  He wears them even for that.

... has been riding gas powered vehicles since he was 10 years old and has been driving cars and trucks since he was 13. If it has wheels, he can race it. He can't stand Harley Davidsons, or the inbred rednecks who worship and glorify those ridiculous road going dildo yachts.

... does all of his own maintenance and repair. He can swing wrenches with the greatest of ease. He collects shiny tools and tools that have plug in power packs that make the tools go "rhuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" or "breeeeeeeeee". He believes that you can never have enough tools.

... is a tool using creature, which ranks him pretty high on the food chain as well as the evolutionary ladder.

... lives for the scream of high performance engines, the rush of adrenaline, the wind whipping at him as he goes faster and faster, the whine of the engine as it comes into its power band, and the primitive smells of high octane and burning rubber. These are a few of his favorite things...

... writes haiku and some other poetry.

... follows and dabbles in modern art.

... has never been abducted by space aliens. Well, ok, once, but they only took him as far as the local K-Mart and then he had to walk home in his urban camo pajamies ... Weird.

... has never had an Elvis sighting.  Yet.

... is a optipessimist. He looks forward to seeing the bad side of people.

... can count higher than 10 when he runs out of fingers.

... studies Japanese culture and language, he can't stand sushi.

... loves black.  Black is his color for everything but food, music, and women.  Beyonce may be an exception to this rule.

... is only wearing black until they invent something darker.

... prefers to dance close and slow, he prefers candle light and soft music to smoke filled bars and loud restaurants.

... does not line dance, a type of movement which he feels is a form of redneck foreplay.

... believes that country music is good for your soul. It's too bad it has to go through your ears to get there.

... takes his whiskey neat. He doesn't drink beer. At all. His occasional vice is a glass of red wine. He can't stand white ....

... can maintain and operate complex firearms and melee weapons. He practices martial arts (American Kempo) and knife fighting. He is very good at being very bad.

... works out to improve his physique, and is a certified PADI scuba diver. He is not scared of sharks or sea snakes. He is scared of octopi (what he calls big effing sea spiders). Really big octopi like the mythical Kraken and the stars of the movies "Tentacles", "It Came From Beneath The Sea", and Peter Benchley's "Beast".

... does not hunt defenseless animals or living things that are either dumber than he is or lower on the food chain, which excludes him from such 'real men' practices as deer and other game hunting.

... believes that there is a fine line between fishing and standing on the bank and looking like a complete idiot. He prefers not to go any where near this line.

... trained his wallet a long time ago to obey him. Therefore, when he goes out in public, he doesn't have to keep his wallet on a chain like some other people do.

... hates neck ties. He thinks the neck tie was invented so that smart people would have something ready at hand to use to choke the stupid people that they meet in the corporate office.

... also believes that the higher you are in the corporate ladder, the bigger and wider a tie you should be required to wear. That way, you could tell how smart a person was just by looking at their tie. People with really thin ties or who didn't even wear a tie would be geniuses. The people with the really big ties would be the complete idiots.

... writes cyberpunk as well as hard science fiction and some fantasy. He has won several awards for his literary works. You can find his award winning stories on this very site. Enjoy.

... scratch builds sci-fi models and kit bashes, when he has time. He's created some pretty amazing things. His favorite garage kit artist is Kow Yokohama who created the trend setting SF3D line of models.

... takes a great interest in Manga style comics and Japanimation. His favorite Manga artist is Masamune Shirow, the creator of APPLESEED, Dominion, Black Magic 66, and the breathtaking OAV Ghost In The Shell.

... is one of two people in the world who didn't like the computer game "Myst".

... does not find Aqueous Humor to be particularly funny.

... sense of humor knows no bounds and is fed by the thousands of megabytes of useless data that he has accumulated from many sources including so-called higher education. Useless data that was put there in school, in college, and from watching too much TV. He is a victim of the '70's and the '80's era of bad TV. The sad thing is that all of this useless data is floating around inside, occasionally colliding, creating spontaneous outbursts of laughter or enlightenment that he feels the need to share with those around him.

... hates stupid people. He does not consider this to be a weakness. He believes that God must truly love stupid people as He created so many of them. A vast majority of them live in Lamar, Jones, Jackson, Harrison Hinds, and Jeff Davis county, MS.

... is an accomplished computer repair technician with more than a small following of loyal, happy users.

... used to own his own custom graphics company, Sons Of Nippon, which was dedicated to owners of high performance Japanese sports cars and sport bikes. He has sold merchandise to import owners around the world. Maybe you are one of his former customers ... ?

... is a dreamer and a hopeless romantic.

... does not worship the devil nor does he play golf. Two activities that he finds strangely related ....

... is, above all else, completely jaded.

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BLACK ECHO

This page is not only a virtual monument to Christopher's glorious yet temporary presence here on the third stone from the sun, but also his own space on the web where others might glean some tid-bit of enlightenment from an individual who has truly "been there, done that, had others imitate me."

Christopher has only one personal motto that he lives by: 
"I don't ask God for things that I don't need. God doesn't give me things that I don't want."


 

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