"We are amazed at the friends you have made here on your trip. Ride, Captain, Ride, upon your mystery ship
on your way to a world that others might have missed."  - BLUES IMAGE, "Ride, Captain, Ride!"

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PEOPLE WHO FEEL THE SAME WAY

Submit your feelings and support to BLACK ECHO

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Hello, Black Echo!

As a recently divorced sport bike rider, and still being what I consider in the dating age (32), I've had plenty of time to visit your site.  My ex-husband was a Harley owner, NASCAR fan and he cared more about that bike than he did for me.  He wasn't like that when I married him, but he got seduced by the flock and he started letting his mind go down hill (what you call the lowest common denominator stuff) and he just never pulled out of the nose dive.  I got even though, when he went through his mid-life crisis and decided not only to spend our money on that ridiculous chrome vibrator he called a motorcycle, but to start banging his secretary, I took him to the cleaners.  The Harley is gone now, and I used the money to buy a nice used '01 GSX-R750.  What did I do with the rest of the money from the sale of the Harley?  I used your advice and put it in the bank.

I really enjoy your site and I've been meaning to ask you... I don't guess you have an identical twin brother, do you?  One that's single?

-DonnaW

Ex-Harley owners wife
Proud owner of a '01 GSX-R750
Fuck you, David

An identical twin?  Lady!  They don't know what to do with just one of me!  : ) -BE

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Hi Chris (or do you prefer Christopher?),

I found your site via a link and I must say, I haven't laughed this hard in quite some time. Your wit is refreshing. I ride a Triumph and do not subscribe to the Hardley (intentional!) mystique although I have many friends who do. Of course, they bash me constantly. I am SO going to point them to your site! <GRIN>

I also really enjoy your insults and for the furtherance of them, I have included a text file full of excellent insults that I have gathered over the years. Use anything you want or throw it out, no big deal.

Thanks for the site. It's going to cost me lots of time to read it all!!

Phil Earnshaw
 

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..just wandered in and found your thoughts and style refreshing. My
brother-in-law and a few other friends had encouraged me to buy HD. As
a new rider the appeal is enormous, of course. I sat on a lot of them,
none of the dealers in my area were interested in letting a greenhorn
ride one. I sat on a 2003 Triumph America and abandoned HD on the
spot. I have essentially nothing to compare it to, but I love the
bike. I'm sure you have plenty to keep you busy so I don't expect a
response, but if you find the time, know anything about the bike and
have an opinion, good or bad I'd be interested in hearing it. If it's
not complimentary, I doubt you'd hold your tongue, but I'm a big boy and
after 43 years, my ego is pretty much adamantine, I'd still be
interested in your thoughts. After all, I do like the bike for no other
reason than it's a fun ride, it goes when I want it to and it looks good
to boot; I know it's not exactly a performance ride. Thanks for your
time.

Tad

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Absolutely the most fun I've had in a good while! I couldn't agree more about the "Hawgs".

Outdated, overrated pieces of crap.

I can't tell you how many times I've sat in traffic, watching some arrogant bastard on his "Hawg", wondering what the hell these people are thinking. Leather chaps?! Tassles?! Saddle bags?! Army Helmet?!

They look like rejects from the Village People!

If HD was the only bike we could get here I'd hang up my helmet.

You are too kind to them you know.

Keep taking them to task!!!

Dan.

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"I?ll sell you a like-new circa late ?70?s 8088 processor based computer
system for three times the price of a brand new Pentium IV. If I tried that,
you?d be the first to scream ?Rip-off!?

Just slap a stupid Harley sticker on it and one of those idiots will buy it.

You're site is great. I don't even own a motorcycle and I am laughing my ass
off.

Al



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Thanks for the site.  It is the same thoughts that I have had for years expressed much better than I could have.

AHeath

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Just wanted to drop you a line to tell you how much I enjoyed your slam against HD. Although I disagree with your stance "faster is better" (I'm 44 and am way past those days of my youth), I thoroughly enjoyed your rant.

I used to think I wanted a Harley, but a few months ago, I began to realize the foolishness of the HD image, and have been researching alternatives. Although I used to own a little Yamaha RD400 (which was a blast to ride), I am older now, slower, and am in need of a cruiser. I don't know what I will end up with, but I know this much ...

It won't be a Harley. (8=

Thanks again,

Bjorn


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“It (Harley Davidson) is a pagan religion disguised as a corporate entity.”
You got that right. Keep up the good work.
MJ

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A friend sent me a link to your website and response to Pete with his bad choice in bikes. I don't think I have ever heard that argument brought to words more beautifully or realistically than that before. Great website man! And by the way, I'll match my stock original 21 year old 83 Honda V65 Magna To any stock POS Harley any day.

LV

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Dear Black Echo,

I am so sick and tired of the traffic congesting, ear splitting, chrome
eye blinding crocks of Harley crap on the roads. Your site and writing
was food for my soul. More power to you brother!

An order for one of your T-shirts will be in the works soon.

Eugene Burger

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That was the most awesome rant I have ever read! I really like your Ferrari reference. I wish there were more females riding sportbikes instead of always getting the impression that every woman who rides a bike is 30 pounds over weight and on a Harley. I’m female, 5’ 9” and 145lbs, I ride a Katana-600 and I wouldn’t give up my sportbike for the world! Okay, maybe for a faster sportbike bike :)

--Janel

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Hello,

I just spent a couple hours (at work) reading the HD
section of your website. Funny shit! I love it... I feel
the same way about HD. I bought a Yamaha YZF600R
a couple months ago. What do you ride? Actually I found
your website from a link at www.yzf600r.com.
Honestly, I think you speak the truth about HD. I also
think that you are a talented writer and could write
books and make $$$.

Thanks,

Ben Cabral

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(Good Day to you, Sir!)

I ride a Ducati 900 Supersport - the Pierre Terreblanche redesign (i.e.
a post-1998 model). I am hoping to buy a second bike soon - it will
probably be a Ducati, again, although I could live with a GSX-R1000.

(That was my disclaimer).

As a Ducati rider, I notice a disturbing tendency among some Harley
Davidson owners to think that a Ducati is somehow in the same class as a
HD. I find this rather distressing. I think it is the fact that the Duc
has a 2-cylinder air-cooled V-twin (albeit a 90 deg. V) engine,
misleading them into thinking that except for the fairing and the
"whacko frame", it bears some kinship with the farm implements they call
motorcycles.

Please, please could you point out to the HD genre that any similarities
in engine layout etc. is purely coincidental, and that there are
otherwise absolutely no reason to think that a Ducati is at all to be
compared with a HD? I will be in your debt, at least for the remaining
length of time I still have on this Earth.

Sincerely
JNienaber
British Columbia, Canada

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Black Echo,

Jesusallahbuddha what a hilarious website! It's been slow at work this week so I've had a chance to read through a lot of your site. It's like a good book you just can't put down. I don't know if which part I like best- the geniuses that send emails full of misspellings and grammatical atrocities daring you to take an IQ / Mensa test or the emails from guys who put down sport bikes as overpowered(?) crotch rockets while boasting about their truly powerful Harleys!

Sorry to hear you were sick recently, I hope you're back to 100%. Sounds like quite a miserable time, so I was thinking a couple of hardly-dangerous anecdotes might help cheer you up.

First one's about Rick, a guy I used to work with. He left the company to go make a fortune in the 'dot com' world. Of course it wasn't too long before he was begging to get his old job back, to no avail. His claim to fame was that he had TWO Harleys in his garage and he made sure everybody knew how superior that made him. Well, I just had lunch last week with someone I hadn't seen in a while who also knew this guy and kept in touch with him. Seems like Rick didn't want to waste his money on taking his bikes to the dealership to have them worked on. Instead, he found some guy who would do the work cheaper and even come to his house to do it right there in the garage. So Rick gave this mechanic the key to his garage and the code to his alarm system. Do I really have to tell you that he came home to an empty garage and the 'mechanic' was never to be seen again? Yep, buying a Harley also buys you a group of people who are your friends that will always stick together and do nothing but good for you.

The other one is about an old girlfriend's brother who was the quintessential Harley guy. At 30 something years old, he was laying carpet part time for a living and rooming with his sister (when he wasn't in jail...). I rode over to her house one day on my Kawasaki Concours and with it sitting in the driveway the conversation about bikes began. After a little Smalltalk, he let me know that he wasn't interested in 'Jap crap' and that "I would rather have some horsepower under my butt." I asked him what kind of numbers he was talking about and he told me that after new high performance pipes, carb and cams he was pushing out a solid 84 point something dyno-proven horses. No, really! He went on to explain in detail about if you are getting one horsepower for each cubic inch of Harley displacement, you have a finely tuned engine. Since he was making 84 horses out of an 80 cube engine, he was really on to something good. I listened for a while until he started telling me a puny 1000cc engine was a good reason to be ashamed of my bike. He gave me a rundown on Harley math informing to me that 1000cc was only 61 cubic inches and what could I do with that? Well, my bike is rated at 93hp (rear wheel) stock and has benefited from a little ignition advancing and carb tweaking. Not that I would ever mess with the EPA detuning bikes these days are subjected to. So at 93hp plus out of a 61 cubic inch motor, wasn't I putting down about a horse and a half per cubic inch without buying any new parts except a new $3 gasket for the timing cover? Weren't the two extra gears in my transmission going to help put that to the ground more efficiently as I shift at around double the rpms that would make his motor explode? I hoped for knowledge and enlightenment from this master tuner and for some reason, all I got was hostility from that point on... Anyway, I asked him if he would like to have a friendly run down a deserted road sometime just to see which one of us needed to change brands. He said "my bike's not up right now" as he motioned into the garage. There among the clutter was a semi-mangled bike and some boxes of crushed/ dented/ scraped parts. Seems he thought riding home from the bar drunk was a good choice until he t-boned a car after running a red light. Maybe waking up in the hospital is all part of the lifestyle? Forrest was right- "stupid is as stupid does".

Anyway, keep up the good work! Some people exhibit far too much ignorance to go unpunished and you, sir, have a gift for giving these people what they need the most.

Bosco

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I've been reading your site for a couple of days now in my spare time and have really enjoyed it. More than once while reading the letters you've received and responded to, I have startled my wife with laughter in an otherwise quite house. I think somebody would have to be a masochist to want to spar with you.

I'm not a Harley fan because of all the obvious performance deficiencies, yet I do kind of like the way they look. I also like the way sports bikes look, I suppose it's the same sort of feeling I have in liking the Ford GT as well as the Model T.

I do own a Harley though, I have a Golden retriever I named Harley. When he was young, he fit the name better than he does today. He used to be fat, slow, he leaked, stunk and made noise constantly. Now the only thing he has in common with a Harley is that he's a dog.

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Just wanted to tell you that I really enjoy your site.

Take care, Dennis

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Wow, that was some speech. I really got a good laugh out of some of your
hate mail. I also have a Harley (49 FL) a 55 Triumph Thunderbird a 69 CB750
Honda and am putting together 69 Triumph TR6C. I love riding, for my type of
riding I think I enjoy the Thunderbird the most. The H.D. though is kind of
like my wife, a little on the heavy side but she has never let me down.

Enjoy what ever you ride, these are the good old days.

Scott

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Aloha Brother

I being an old fart (63) and ride off road/street/MX, every weekend R/S, here on the Big Island of Hawaii I though you might like this.



My weekend routine commences forthwith

Early Sunday solar appearance in the AM, I feel compelled to arise with alacrity from my place of reclined recharge for the purpose of a Hawaiian Saddle Road vascular expanding adrenalin rush.

Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing the Race Tech Gold Valved suspended crotch rockets containment, whereupon the solar brilliance reflection on the surface of a recent pristine polished fuel containment cell, that might be said to rival that of the solar meridian itself - thus permitting my incredulous optical sensory organs to behold a conveyance of a high velocity G-force Super Bike ride awaiting my procurement.

With my lower bipeds for motive power traveling at what may possibly have been more higher trajectory speed than a Wisconsin Harley, I vociferated loudly, expelling breath musically through contracted labia, and addressed the application of Dunlop rubber on Serpentine Saddle Road (lets rip ass today) shouted are the words of fun ignition.

I then propelled myself in a short vector onto the super bike conveyance, as hemoglobin is pressuring the pukinjie sacks in the lower grey matter of my Hippocampus, preparing for the G-force that is only a rotation of the carpals away in thought containment mode.

As I projected my cranium to its erstwhile carbon fiber safety location, and was performing a 180-degree pivot, with my right lower appendage arcing over the thorax of the shining liquid cooled 900 RR crotch rocket.

I directed a musical expulsion of air through a contracted oral sphincter toward the vinyl covering of burden. I was clad entirely in a 1.5 mm outer dermis layer of Bovine hide soiled by the insect residue from direct annoying 170mph insecticidal collisions, which had accumulated on the front leading rotating spatula edges thereof.

Freedom and joy was expressed by my orbs being scintillate with reflected luminosity, while my sub maxillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of engaging amiability.

The capillaries of my molar regions and nasal appurtenance were engorged with blood which suffused the subcutaneous layers, approximating the coloration of official mirror luminosity reflection of law enforcement in rapid pursuit, or cherry red, I felt haul freaking ass healthy.

To commence completion of this rhythm of exotic compound rubber meets tarmac, I executed an abrupt about face, placed a single manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to my olfactory organ, inclined cranium forward in a gesture of leave- taking, and forthwith effected my egress by negotiating the twisting of the right wrist in a downward motion, and coincide flicking the left digits off the aluminum leverage manipulator, causing volumes of smoke and a single long black strip marking the Saddle Road passage.

If this makes sense to you, you’re a motorcyclephile

~~~Gasser~~~

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Harley Davidson is coming out with a new vacuum cleaner!!!..........It's the only thing they make that doesn't suck!! Hey great site! enjoying every  word. Currently own a 1984 v65 Honda sabre.

Jerry


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Black Echo,

I laugh my ass off EVERY time I read material from your website. I'd say you're right on the money. Keep up the good work

Pete V.
96' Honda Magna

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I've got to tell you, I enjoyed reading your rant on Harleys. 90% of it is true, and I've been riding Harleys for over 25 years. Too many people have too much money and don't know what to do with it. I would rather build my bikes than buy a new, $15k, ready-to-be-customized-right-from-the-factory-with-lots-more-money-so-I-can-have-the-same-"custom" Harley-as-everyone-else. Damn yuppie wannabe bikers, but they couldn't tell you what a "biker" is. I get more waves from guys on Jap bikes than I get from H/D riders these days. To me, it's more important that you ride than what you ride. One of my best friends rides a VTX that's tweaked a bit.

Harleys were always about more than just the bike, but not anymore. Nowadays, these assholes think they're hot shit when they can go to a dealer and pay more than the list price.

A couple of days ago, I called Mike's Famous H/D in Delaware for a price on the 2004 Sportster 1200 Custom.

The girl tells me "We don't sell at list, we're a Premium Dealer."

I said, " I know the MSRP is $9845 in 2-tone paint, what are you asking?"

She tells me, " $13,700".

I said " You won't be a premium dealer for long at those prices."

The scary part, or maybe just pathetic, is that some ass will probably pay it. I like my H-D, but to each his own. I've worked my bike into a fast runner that cruises comfortably, and I am not comfortable on a sport bike where I have to lean over and can't put both feet on the ground. But that's me. I like to do my own work, and a HD is the easiest to fix and modify. I also like the look of the older bikes, they had something there that I can't put my finger on, but I will call "character".

The new bikes look like the came out of a cookie cutter, and the Lookalike BIG $$$ customs all look the same. Give me $40K(or more) and I'll build you a real nice bike, too.Orang County Garbage, if you ask me. That said, you should calm down before you give yourself a heart attack. There are a lot of more important things to get bent out of shape about. We all know Harley is a big, greedy corporation only looking to make money. The H.O.G. thing really makes me shake my head in disgust. Yea, let's ride 6 miles on Sunday morning to a diner, then go home and spend 9 hours polishing all the chrome. I clean my bike occasionally when I can't see the motor under the dirt. I'd rather be putting a few hundred miles on it and riding every spare minute than making it shiny so all the RUB's can see how shiny it is.

Someone sent me the link to your page, and, like I said earlier, the sad part is, it's all too true.

Take it easy,

John

1947 FL, 1958 FLH, 1989 Softail, now, 1980 Superglide ( a sleeper since the motor grew a bit...)


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Sir,

Once in a while, you find something on the net that is truly funny.

Well done. Dale

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Your a funny guy. A lot of the people that hate your site because you bash their beloved Harley will agree with some other guy bashing anything 'non-harley'. I like all motorcycles, Some more then others. Many of my friends have either gotten away from motorcycles completely, or been driven to different marques because the lemmings have all flocked to the Harley "Biker Lifestyle". When I want to make a little money working on a bike, I go to the Harley shop. When I want to have a good time talking bikes I go to the Honda shop.

Thanks for the laughs, Keep your face in the wind

 Kurt

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Dear Sir,

I am an ex-policeman hailing from South Africa. I was in the police in Zimbabwe (patrol car driver, then ballistics examiner), and gave that up to farm and become an auctioneer in 1982. Lost my leg in a bike accident on the farm, in '92, through a moment's inattention. That's what qualifies me as a really stupid rider. I left Zimbabwe in October last, after being booted off my farm, and am now living in Cape Town, South Africa, and have come back to biking and ride a Honda Shadow 1100 Ace - I find that I can manage the gear change with my wooden leg, and the cruiser riding position suits me. I am a little disappointed with the performance, and may move up to a Valk if I can find one at the right price, and if my fixed ankle doesn't cause my toe on that side to snag the engine.

I found your site earlier today, and haven't stopped laughing since. What a refreshing site!

Larger bikes were quite hard to come by in Zimbabwe, and although the market here is booming, the number of models available locally is very slim. Needless to say Harley have a dedicated following, and offer their full line-up, but the only folk that can afford them are the ultra rich weekend warriors. The contents of your site have explained a great deal about their attitude, as I have seen it.

Thanks once again for an enlightening mornings reading, regards,

Mark

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Dear Mr. Shields,

I'm from Germany, (so misspellings might occur ) and an addict to Italian V-Twins.
I'd never even park one of my bike close to a HOG, god knows what disease it might catch.

Your site is really something to see, but I think you're wasting your talents.

With your knowledge of the scene, and your ability to talk to protozoa, you should definitely open a H-D shop.

You'd make tons of cash with chromed ignition sparks, internal fuel tank illumination and hundreds of other useless gadgets.

To avoid braindead hire a H-D rider and pay him in parts. ( might be just the job for an Iron hour se man )

Keep on kicking the butts that deserve it.

Tuscon

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Found your site following links from the ratbike zone, then motorchyco then you.  Best of the best man. You have made me laugh ('kin hysterically ), you have made me cry, but most importantly you have made me think. I know where I will be spending my free time for the foreseeable future, checking out the rest of your life enhancing output. Your site(s) should be required reading for all those sniveling fekwits who cant see the world around them cos they have their heads firmly rammed up their own arse. I can't remember where I saw it but check out www.chainoiler.co.  UK's hardly dangerous riders may not see the funny side but I guess you will.

Best wishes man and remember ratbikes will one day rule the world.

Respect, Ratbloke
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You, my friend, have a very powerful website.

Since I first discovered your website two weeks ago, I have enjoyed it immensely. I also have tried to share the love that this site spreads with neighbors who ride the almighty H-D.  I have not heard any comments...yet.  I have one neighbor, who has just extended his family's personal debt by $17,000.00 to ride a used Harley with a Springer fork. Can you say...Dumbass...?  I know I can.

I ride a Kawasaki Vulcan that I call "The Lawn Ornament Special"

It cost only a couple of hundred bucks and one afternoon to get it going.  I ride for the enjoyment, not for the Status. I wrench for a living and can afford to ride anything I want to, but I get the most enjoyment hearing from my ever-loving H-d rider friends who ask if I can help them with something they can't fix or if I do something, will it void the warranty?  Please pardon any grammatical fallacies. If you do post this on your site? Please use the only the initials J.D.

I like having neighbors that I can still ride with...

"J.D."

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To Black (Christopher) Echo (Shields),

I sent you an e-mail some time ago, to which you eventually responded. No big deal. You're a busy guy, this is a hobby. I don't drop by too often anyway. But...

I happened to slog in tonight and spent some time reading the swordplay (ever notice how close "sword" and "word" are so closely related) between you and coach Mike. The Mikey Chronicals. Admittedly, Coach needed to run a sharpening stone across his blade a few (hundred ) times more just to cut butter but still, it was very entertaining. Please forgive me if I misspell/misstate, since the hour is late, I'm somewhat laden with vino and I've come to rely too heavily on spell check.

I must commend you on your concise, systematic decimation of the aforementioned educator. In reading his replies, I was struck by the image of he, and his "staff", franticly pouring over a lexicon of "intellectual sayings" to find a few sentences to complete a paragraph in response.

I am somewhat awestruck (must be the wine) by your incredible ability to so eloquently eviscerate your debatee. I love it. On a less eloquent, but equally effective instance, I am reminded of one of my personal favorite movies, "Aliens". In the wakeup scene a female galactic Marine, Sanchez (I believe that was the name... blame the wine again) is waking up by doing some chin-ups on a overhead pipe on the spaceship . Bill Paxton (movie name forgotten at the moment) walks by and says

"Hey, Sanchez... even been mistaken for a man?".

To which she replies "No... you?"

Concise... caustic... classic.

Sanchez's friend adds "You're so bad".

That's what I say to you. Black Echo... you're so bad!

Later.

Tim

Her name was Vasquez and she kicked ass! -BE

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Tremendously funny (and true) site. I've visited again and again, often several times a week hoping that you've updated again! Keep up the good and necessary work!

By the way, here's a link (on a pro-Harley site, surprisingly) which summarizes the way we all feel about Harley(R) Bikers(TM).

http://www.harleyrendezvous.com/98poseur.htm

- Chris (Yamaha FJR1300)

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Hi Black Echo,

A nice site, I found it by chance from a link off the UK Honda forum www.hondarevolutions.com.  Very good observations and the backwards cap idiots are over here too.

I shall keep a lookout for any updates in the future. Don't like the Harley rider much do you?  hehehe

Cheers
Steve

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You are a hero to the motorcycle community. I enjoy the thought of you handing out mortal wounds with a wiffle ball bat to these people. Keep up the good work.

-JBlack


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I have to go to work.

I was linked to your website by my Kawasaki riding, Mercedes driving, Bible thumping, has to live in The Netherlands, friend.

Damn him. I am now late to work.

Great material. I was sent the link for the email responses to the Harley rant. I was so amused.

Thanks.

John

2004 Ducati ST3 (Current)

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i stumbled onto your site via some hd web site. your site must be the funniest think ive ever read. i own a harley and there is no question in my mind as to its inferior engeniring comaired to any import. i went to europe last year (by the way im far from yuppie, im a 24 year old broke ass photographer) to tour the alps with some friend (all of whom ride imports). After 2 weeks of taking hair-pins with ease on the r 1100s bmw, when i finally got back home and rolled the harley to the end of the driveway, i was almost totally paralized with fear. i felt like taking this rattling deathtrap out onto the road would be suicide. eventually i got over it and now im back to my scooter trash hd self. i bought my bike (87 sportster) from some fool who couldnt start it for $2500. 15 hrs later the bike was running and 2 years later is still running beautifuly. i say this not in defense of hd, ive been lucky. i personally love and appriciate all bikes. i definatly feel you on the hd attitude. i ride with imports and hd guys, and the import guys are better riders nicer guys and more openminded. every year we head over to europe, i ask some hd fools to come with us, the response is almost alway the same..."i dont wanna go to europe, theres so much to see here in the states..." ture but they never go to see any of it because there afraid there bikes wont make it down the turnpike. they like to ride their bikes down town and park them in a nice line out side the trendiest bar or club in the city, stand next to it and smoke cigarettes looking like wanna be outlaws or something. i get it from both ends the harley guys make fun of me cuz i hate chrome and dont buy any, dont have a hd leather jacket, and dont have stickers and buttons all over me (you should have heard them when i said i was gonna repaint it and leave the logo off), and the imports make fun cuz i got the bike that is tempermental, vibrates is slow and doesnt have the latest brake, exaust, engine chip, whatever system on it (dont even get me started on the bmw geeks, theyre just as bad as the hd guys). i dont know, i just wanna ride my bike, isnt that what its about? im no different then the rest of em i guess (thats why i wrote this email in the ignorant, too lazey to hit the shift button format). my friend brian always says "if harley davidson made an airplane, would you fly in it?"...hell no! anyway i didnt mean to ramble, keep up the good work on the site, i love it.....
..........athan
 

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I found you site a short while ago. Funny stuff--very funny stuff. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. While I own a couple of old Harleys--which I love to ride and work on--mostly work on--I couldn't agree with you more in
regard to most of your sentiments regarding the HD motor company.

Keep up the good work,
S. Mauldin

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Hello from South Africa

Just a short note to tell you how much I enjoy your site.

I ride a Kawasaki zx6rr,and a good friend of mine rides a Harley super dyna glde fxsjrkomg........ . Not withstanding the fact that he rides a Harley, he really enjoys the site as much as I do.

The world must be a very unpleasant place for those who cannot see the humor in themselves. The positive side of life is that there are many more that can than those that can't.

Keep up the brilliant work, and keep the right side up. I have included a small jpg of my bike hope you enjoy.

Best regards
ATaylor
Durban
South Africa


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Even though I ride a Harley, I enjoy your site. Harleys (mine is a
Superglide) reallly aren't that bad - they're just not that great. Mine
was a gift from my wife, well intentioned, but she doesn't know
motorcycles. I'd rather have a BMW or a Honda. Unfortunately, I'm
stuck, at least for awhile, as I don't want to hurt her feelings by
trading it.

Anyway, I came across a thread on the V-Twin Forum I thought you might
have some fun with. It is under the V Twin Genaral Talk, titled, "80
mph Ape Hanger Break Off." Self explanatory, and a funny read.

Keep up the good work!

P. Kelley

80mph ape hanger break off? Yikes! Flying apes!  -BE


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I just read the little ditty about Kutter HD raffling off the opportunity to purchase a new HD. Who is more moronic, the fucking arrogant assholes that came up with this idea, or the nitwit sheeple that actually participated?

BTW, man yer site has grown. Keep it up.

Mike


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Withdrawals? Have the lemmings withdrawn in retreat? Is there no one else? The loyal subjects are craving a new batch of reader feedback. We know you are busy, but we live for this stuff. When I see the flock of posers at the local hang out on Friday night, I smile the secret smile of a man knowing something that they do not. You and your website are truly appreciated.   -Brian.

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Black Echo!

I love your site!  I was riding the other day and thought of a song that reminded me of you.  Have you ever heard Def Leppard's "Demolition Man"?  That song is about you, I swear it is.  You really are the "Demolition Man" tearing down the walls of the redneck wonderland!  I've included the lyrics.

DEF LEPPARD LYRICS

"Demolition Man"

Let me loose, I just got back
I was pushed and I got dragged
I tasted mud, I tasted wine
I've kissed the life I've left behind
So say I choose to stick around
I've got news for this here town
I kick the ball, I catch the bus
And raise the roof for all of us

Destination anywhere
So far gone, I'm almost there
Can't you see I can't deny
I'm out of here like I'm on fire

Living like a caged-up animal, criminal
Television newsman so subliminal
Bringing down the walls of wonderland
Just another highbrow cowboy telling me
Everything and everyone and all the things I ought to be
Here I am, your demolition man

Steal your car and leave a wreck
Kiss your bride, I cash your check
And Tyson plus I'm ripped and torn
Been on the edge since I was born
I kick the jukebox, change the tune
I break the bank and jump the moon
I sink the fleet to catch a buzz
And raise a glass for all of us

Destination anywhere
So far gone, I'm almost there
Can't you see I can't deny
I'm out of here like I'm on fire

Living like a caged-up animal, criminal
Television newsman so subliminal
Bringing down the walls of wonderland
Just another highbrow cowboy telling me
Everything and everyone and all the things I ought to be
Here I am, your demolition man

I'm a beast in space, I'm an acid taste
I'm a primitive gong stuffed in your face
It's enough to bring you to your knees

Living like a caged-up animal, criminal
Television newsman so subliminal
Bringing down the walls of wonderland
Just another highbrow cowboy telling me
Everything, everyone and all the things I ought to be
Here I am, your demolition man
Living like a caged-up animal, criminal
Television newsman so subliminal
Bringing down the walls of wonderland
Just another highbrow cowboy telling me
Everything and everyone and all the things I ought to be
Here I am, your demolition man

Keep it up!  I visit your site often!  I love the way you tear those Harley clowns a new rear exit!

Janna K.  ('03 CBR600F4i)
NY

Thanks, Janna.  I like that song and I think you for turning me on to it.  Catchy beat.  Here's another favorite song of mine that I like to think of as theme music to play when I'm composing an update.  It's called "Won't Back Down (Bring You Hell)" by Fuel.

-BE


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I checked out a link to your Harley bashing article and found it to be interesting and mostly true. I also checked out other areas of your website. I especially enjoyed the quotes and decided to send this one along.

"Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people."  -Hyman G. Rickover, "father" of America's nuclear navy (1900-1986)

Even though you may not believe it Harley riders are people too, no matter how misled. Thanks for the laughs, and yes I own one.

Great site, or is it sight? Perhaps all that vibration confuses them? I always smile at Harley riders, as being of mature age I might be the father they didn't have. A paternal smile may go such a long way.............

San Tah

Thank you for the quote, sir.  I have a quote I too am fond of, San Tah.

"Education is not the filling of a bucket but the lighting of a fire."  - W. B. Yeats.

I believe that I am doing my share of fire lighting.  -BE

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Just found you through fz1oa board.

What a riot! I've owned Harley's in the past (I'm sorry).

Recently owned a valkyrie (this is not a Harley "knockoff" but one of the best cruisers ever made.) now own a Yamaha fz1 and love it. look forward to visiting your site often.

BTW, I'm ex LEO (in a past life, many years ago) and really enjoyed your sharing the threats that some of your fans have made.

-take care. James

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Some words of wisdom I ran across in a biker forum.

Mike

Some dear truths from down-under (Australia).


• Midnight bugs taste Best.
• Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they can hold everything you need.
• Wear heavy boots. You can't kick things when you're wearing runners.
• NEVER argue with a woman holding a torque wrench.
• Routine maintenance should never be neglected.
• It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed.
• The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rear-view mirror.
• Never be afraid to slow down.
• Only bikers understand why dogs love to stick their heads out car windows.
• Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory.
• Never ask a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to get there.
• If it takes more than 3 bolts to hold it on, it's probably crucial.
• Remember that you will be judged by the Horse you ride.
• Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.
• Pies and coffee are as important as petrol.
• The number of kicks it takes to start your bike is directly proportional to the number of spectators.
• Never ask your bike to scream before her throat is good and warm.
• Sometimes it takes a whole tank full of fuel before you can think straight.
• If you want to get a job, you may have to compromise your principals. You may even have to shave.
• Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone.
• Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town.
• Never mistake horsepower for staying power.
• A good rider has balance, judgment, and good timing. So does a good lover.
• A cold hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by strapping it to an exhaust pipe and riding forty kilometres.
• Never do less then forty kilometres before breakfast.
• If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride.
• A bike on the road is worth two in the shop.
• When you look down the road, it seems to never end but you better believe it does.
• Young riders pick a destination and go. Old riders pick a direction and go.
• Overconfidence can be supplied by spare spark plugs, a set of spanners, and a roll of toilet paper.
• Advice is free and worth every cent!
• Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.
• Always back your bike into the curb and sit where you can see it.
• Work to ride - Ride to work.
• Whatever it is, it's better in the wind.
• Two lane blacktop isn't a highway -- its an attitude.
• Good coffee should be indistinguishable from 50 weight motor oil.
• A biker can smell a party 5,000 km away.
• Keep your bike in good repair.
• Motorcycle boots are NOT comfortable for walking.
• People are like motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently.
• More races were won in the tavern than on the track.
• Never loan your bike to someone else, and never ride another's.
• If the bike isn't braking properly, you don't start by rebuilding the engine.
• Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburetor.
• Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes.
• Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck.
• The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome.
• Learn to do counterintuitive things that may someday save your arse.
• Beware the biker whose ink peels off.
• If you really want to know what's going on, watch what's happening at least 5 cars ahead.
• Don't make a reputation you'll have to live down or run away from later.
• Smoke and grease can hide a multitude of errors, but only for so long.
• A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2 am to drive her/his Ute to the middle of nowhere to get you when you're broken down.
• If s/he changes her oil more than s/he changes her mind -- follow her/him.
• The thicker your oil, the hotter you can take it.
• If you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can't stop at every tavern.
• Hunger can make even road kill taste good.
• You gotta be smart enough to understand the rules of motorcycling and dumb enough to think the game's important.
• The older I get, the faster I was.

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Thanks for the laughs!

Firstly, I must blame you for spitting coffee all over my keyboard. Your website was posted on a motorcycle forum, accompanied by much bleating and stamping of hoof, so naturally I had to check it out. You turn a powerful phrase, Sir, and I admit to the usual knee-jerk reaction...I quelled it, and read on. I am glad I didn't snap out an ill-thought flame, as you obviously have no patience for insults returned in the manner your initial rant would seem to invite. I resolved to have some substance to any arguments I engaged you with. Spluttering "but...but...wait a minute..." to myself, I continued to read - gathering the ammunition that I would use to destroy you utterly. I then got to FAQ, where you address reasonable questions - err...more reasonably. Some of my steam boiled away there - and some of my arguments were derailed. Then I had to laugh at myself a bit. I've had some of the same arguments as the ones from your side of the fence at one time or another - (the urge to play "devil's advocate" is strong in me) - but never with such utter conviction or - ahem...colorful language. In the end I sighed and clicked out, to go along my way, but 4 burning questions/comments wouldn't leave my head. Alas, curiosity forces me to expose my throat to the...I believe you called it a "rabid gin-mill".

1. Trends...Many of your chief sources of complaint regarding HD motorcycles are inherent across the board in cruiser motorcycles of ANY stripe - including the Japanese brands - and seem to be getting worse. I am dying of curiosity to know what your opinion is on the recent developments in this area. Examples being the Valkyrie line (forward-thinking 6 cyl) basically getting sacked for the VTX (pushrod v-twin), The V-Max's questionable future matched against the aluminum-framed-but-otherwise-archaic Warrior, and the SUV proportioned, pushrod-equipped Vulcan 2000. While you'll get no argument from me that a 45-50 deg. v-twin is perhaps the most inherently flawed design ever developed by man...there does seem to be an awful lot of them. Cruiser sales are up - sport bike sales are flat. Aprilia and Ducati - both major (if overpriced) technological leaders in sport bike technology - specialists really - are having serious financial problems. Kawasaki and Suzuki have in effect "joined forces" to improve both their positions. Triumph is backing way off the pace in their sport bike development, canning the 1300cc Daytona to go whole hog (pardon the pun) into the cruiser market with the Rocket III, and the remaining 2, Honda and Yamaha - have vast diversification to offset any losses they take on their racing programs and development. What will the future hold?

2. Form follows function...but to what degree? The big four have been making cruisers for over 30 years, but only in the last 10 or so has the style been what is now called "clones". If the form is really restricted by function to that extent - The big four, the "Knights Templar" of technological innovation, are about 25 years late to the party. The Virago's and Intruder's of my youth would never have been mistaken for that's years HD...but they were outstanding models in their own right. The "fat-bob" tank with gauges is NOT a cruiser requirement...and in fact is a major inconvenience - (I'd like my gauges in my line of sight, please...) This cloning is a valid argument HD riders use, vocally and often. Comparing apples to apples, the HD's frequently do rather well lately against the competition - price excluded. I believe Cycle World has a comparison that includes The Fatboy, Victory, Marauder/Mean Streak, and 1600 Classic this month...(I believe the HD came in second.) If you truly believe the technology is 40 years old...then the big four are devolving...regressive evolution at it's finest. This one is my personal pet peeve, as HD will NEVER improve cruiser technology or design when the other manufacturers are following them. Personally, I like cruiser ergos - but why can't I get Brembo brakes? ground clearance? decent shocks? more than 65 hp? AND shiny parts/customization? Can't get that from anyone at the moment.

3. Use (or lack of it...). The design of a bike determines it's purpose - and vice versa. There is no all-purpose bike, and the ones that try manage to do everything - poorly. In my dream garage I would have about 5 bikes - as the R1 is no cross-country tourer, the Goldwing sucks off-road, etc... That said, most people find they have to choose which bike serves their purpose best. At the moment you are an avid sportbike fan...how about in 30 years? What if you start going cross-country? With passenger? What if you were 5'0" tall? While I will certainly not dispute that the power, weight and handling of sportbikes are in a different league...what league are we playing in here? I once had the reverse of the typical Harley story happen to me. A younger kid pulled up at the library to pick up his girlfriend...admiring his bike from my own, I ventured to ask him what kind of horsepower it made (It was a CBR-type bike)...his cocky reply was "You could race me and find out!" I sat silent a sec. Then I said "Sure thing, kid...I'll race ya - first one to get to Alaska with their girl and two bowling balls wins..."

4. Last...thank you if you've read this far, by the way...is speed. How much horsepower is enough? The current 600 Honda I believe makes about 125hp (115hp at the crank. -BE)...at a tick under 400pds (370 dry/ BE)...put into car specs that would be equivalent to a roadster class car making 1000hp. Most people get on the forums asking if this is a good starter bike. The current R1 makes about 180. I have read your opinion regarding these bikes requiring alertness and presence of mind to drive properly...I certainly agree, and I'll go one step further. I wonder if the latest bikes on the extreme edge of performance can be properly street-ridden at all. The horsepower is enormous, the powerband is shockingly small - (i.e. abrupt) on some...and the trend continues. I would say HD riders overall have a lower skill-level than the average street rider. That said, the average street rider in my opinion is not qualified to pilot an R1. Do I want more than 80mph in top gear? Yes. 80 in first gear? NO.

Thank you for your time if you made it this far...I shudder at the thought of your reply. Good riding to you.

William F. Skees...aka Fairchild

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Your site is a beacon of truth shining across a vast sea of bullshit.....maybe those teetering on the edge of H-D indoctrination will be lucky enough to find it, and be stimulated/challenged into making rational motorcycling choices. The Cultural Cancer that is Harley-Davidson has deep-seated roots and unlikely allies, however. The July '04 issue of Cycle Word offers the H-D Sportster an "Honorable Mention" in their year's ten best bikes article. This is for a machine that has ADDED (no, that's not a typo) fifty pounds to it's overall weight, but has seen no commensurate increase in RWHP. Can you imagine any other motorcycle manufacturer being lauded for such bass-ackward "improvement"? Ah, but such are the tentacles of stupidity which H-D has managed to wrap around American motorcycling. Like The Shadow, they have the "power to cloud men's minds". Fortunately for me, I am immune to specious bullshit logic, no matter how skillfully spun. When I see an overweight, under-powered, overpriced, two-wheeled relic...I recognize it for what it is.

Keep up the good work, Fred Erhardt


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The real scary thing is the movement to fully chopped Harleys. They have taken a poorly handling underpowered bike and made it even worse by kicking out the front forks. Then they expect you to pay forty or fifty thousand for it.

Famous last words of a Harley owner "Hey you all, watch this, I'll catch that there little ol motorsycle youall is riding"

We need more chlorine in the gene pool!!!!!. Love your site, keep up the ranting, the educated listens to the voice of reason, the uneducated are deafened by their ignorance. Ride fast and long. Ed L.

The only bad thing about the gene pool is that there are no lifeguards on duty- BE

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Chris: (I hope I've got the name right)

Great rant! I laughed my ass off reading that. I am one of those
ass-clowns that wanted a Harley. I even took a tour of the York, PA
plant and was thinking really hard about how to convince the wife I
needed one. Then, one day, I took a wrong turn down a side street in
Aurora, IL. (which is where I live) and there sat a beautiful 1995
Honda Magna for sale. 750 cc and 80 HP of V4 with the look of the
cruiser. The PO had put on a set of (ahem) studded saddlebags and a
studded tank strap. Of course, I added a studded seat to match.

My decision to buy the Honda was simple: I like to ride. I have friends
with Harley's and they are mostly driveway ornaments. One friend who
was trying to convince me I needed a Harley explained to me that, when
I get one, I should be ready to have it re-built at 25000 miles! 25000
miles! My Honda will be just about broke in at 25000.

I look at these guys, (and girls) with black leather everything, even
in 90 plus degree heat, metal stud everything and butt-less chaps right
out of police academy's Blue Oyster Bar, and laugh my ass off. They try
to look down at me for riding a foreign-made bike and I just think
about the $16000 I didn't spend for a bike that looks just like theirs
and will leave them in the dust in 2nd gear. Gee, how about that, I can
own a well-built, high performance, smooth handling cruiser and still
afford to send my kid to college.

Now that I think about, maybe I'm not an ass-clown after all.

Chrome side up!
Good riding.

Brad.
 

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Thank you for this site. Best laugh I've had since the time I was visiting Manhattan
and witnessed the excruciatingly embarrassing site of HD riders in Greenwich
Village all in brand new stiff squeaky chaps...you get the picture. (I'm
cringing just thinking about it)

Your wife is a very lucky women. If you weren't married you would have your
very own stalker now. How can a girl resist a sense of humor AND a uniform?

Keep up the good work,

Kim

(a Suzuki SV1000 owner)


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WOW!! Your site states, with amazing accuracy, the absurdity and asinine attitude of an incredibly large percentage of, but not all, Harley riders. I love it. I have been a "biker" for more years that I care to disclose. I have had the pleasure of riding Honda (my father was a dealer), Kawasaki, Yamaha, Triumph, as well as many other makes. I have taken great pleasure in bringing some of those trumped up, white collar, wannabe Harley riding posers down to size with my somewhat limited intellect (I'll be the first to admit I'm not the brightest bulb in the box) simply because I am a blue collar worker that delights in watching the dumbfounded, blank stares that are returned when they are at a loss for words. I'm a runt (nickname is Gremlin for a reason) that will sometimes take on a Harley riding Luddite in a battle of wits. It never ceases to amaze me how many of these professional, white collar, lookiesee my new tattoo, supposedly intelligent, trailer pulling posers don't have the necessary ammo to do battle.

I salute you sir. You have put into words what I could not have done. I am an old school biker who wants to give you a sincere "Thank you".

Thank you.

Gremlin


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Hey brother, first I want to give your props for a
great site. A good, BMW-riding friend turned me onto
it, and now I've got a new web destination. I just
hope that all of the muffled laughter it causes won't
get me fired!

Paul

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You know, Harley-Davidson is really doing one helluva job marketing
these substandard washing machines to the idiot masses. If you look at
it from an investors angle, they are doing what any corporation should
do: Market their product and make money with as little investment in
the product as possible. They have, through good marketing and sheer
dumb luck, cornered the market on "American Made".

The problem I have is with their customers. These dumbshits just keep
buying their crap without demanding better quality. They're Cub fans.

Take the blue pill.

Brad


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Hello Mr. Shields,

I did not stumble on you site I looked for it!

I was on Google and put in anti-Harley and there you were. Back in the late sixties my dad made custom fiberglass tanks and fenders for Hardleys. It kept a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs. When I was five my dad bought me and my brother our first bike..........a Honda 50. My dad knew back then that Japanese technology was getting better.

Flash forward to 1975, my second bike...Honda xr75. I loved that bike and still wish I owned it today.

My eighth grade graduation gift, a 1977 Honda CR 125 Ellsinore. All gifts from my parents. I guess my point is my dad had the foresight in what was going to be advanced motorcycling experience. I am now 41 years old and own a 1985 v65 Sabre (Honda of course!) This bike will blow away any Hardley and get some respect from some sport riders too.

Great site and keep up the good work! Jerry

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I can tell you've got a sense of humor about you, Christopher, and that's
always cool to read. Keep doing what you're doing, your site is awesome!
Thanks again.

Ralph L. Angelo Jr.

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Definitely an entertaining website you have there. I don't think you should be commenting on anyone else's grammar or spelling because yours are mediocre at best, but that's not really relevant.

Huh? -BE

I understand you're pissed that America has failed miserably in its production of innovative motorcycles. I agree completely. Personally, I like really old motorcycles because they're cheap and nothing stylistically inspiring was made after 1990 except the V-Max, in my humble opinion. Consequently, the V-Max is on a very short list of Japanese bikes that keep value, which sucks for a guy like me who wants to buy everything long after it has depreciated and keep it running as cheaply as possible. (Yes, I have an old Harley, but I usually ride my old CB750, or Yamaha Virago 920-one of the ugliest of Japan's creations.)

You neglect to mention the main reasons the American V-Twin fails. It is not merely the V-Twin-look at older Viragos, horsepower was easily 25% more than Harleys of similar displacement. It is the crankshaft arrangement, and bank angle as well. As passionate as you are in your writing, I don't see any real indication of technical knowledge in your writing, so trust me on this one. Feel free to use it in your rants.

I don't put in technical highlights because quoting specs isn't funny.  Hell, the Harley owner I work with couldn't show me where to put oil into the engine so I doubt using numbers is going to make my work any funnier.  Sorry.  This is humor, not a technical dissertation.  If Harley Davidson wants me to tell them what is wrong with their bikes and to improve it, they are free to hire me as head of their R&D department.  Until then, I'll let them juggle the numbers. -BE

Although I would never be caught dead on anything after about 1985, and definitely nothing HD built, I have to say, I love new Harleys. As soon as I see one, I know I'm probably in the wrong place, with the wrong people, and I go find some joint full of beater bikes of all varieties, so I know the intelligence level is a bit higher, and the sheep mentality is at a minimum. Thanks to HD for starting the HOG, so real bikers can see the patches and know to avoid them. Whether they rot in hell or continue riding every Sunday to recapture a false sense of some stupid youth they never had, I don't care-I'll avoid them all the same. They remind me of high school football players. They think they're some cool bunch that everyone wants to be a part of, but in actuality, the whole scene is just dumb, and the other 95% of the world knows.

Anyway, thanks for the entertainment. Ride safe.

Mike

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http://www.jsonline.com/bym/news/jun04/235161.asp

Make no mistake about it... in order to sell in that... ahem... communist
dictatorship called China (where tanks tend to roll over students on
Tiananmen), a foreign company needs to "associate" itself with a chosen
Chinese "partner" which will own roughly 51% of the stakes at a minimum.

That "association" generally implies exchanging know how, and building
a shiny new factory, after which the Chinese side will collect 90% of
the revenues or kick they foreigner altogether (Audi learned the hard
way after the Audi 80 became the "red car"), or become an exporter of
products for that foreigner (or else the Chinese will simply threaten
to flood the market with copycats good at dumped prices, so not much
choice there).

What is disguised here is simply plain and simple outsourcing. But for
a change... I might argue that the Chinese product would be certainly
superior!

Given Harley has about as much social conscience as those snack vendors
at concerts charging $8 per 2 oz burrito, they will proudly follow Levi's
footsteps and close all their significant US production facilities.

-Nitinol

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Finally a website to bash those stupid, arrogant bikes. They're loud and
obnoxious sounding and usually so are the people that ride them. These
people act like they're so elite - "Look at me on my shiny chrome bike with
all the leather. I don't need a helmet cause it's a Harley. I'll never smash
my head on a curb. I'm so cool. What? Sorry. Can't hear you over my loud,
obnoxious bike."

I'm sick of seeing these bikes. They disturb my peace. Seems like whenever I
want to take a nice little afternoon nap, the leather clad biker bozo down
the street likes to roar through the neighborhood. Same thing goes for the
guys who ride those fast looking motorcycles. You know, the Ninja types where
they have to lean way forward. Now if there were ever true fools on the
earth, its those guys. They recklessly weave in and out of traffic like
they're invulnerable - without helmets, of course. "Look at me on my fast
bike with no helmet or shirt. I'll never get road rash. And don't you love
my earring? And what about the bodacious babe sitting behind me? We can only
go out when it's not raining. I don't have a car cause I can't hold a job
down. But don't you love my fast looking bike?"

They're all idiots. Especially the ones who don't protect their own heads.

Keep up the good work.

-Rooster_Dude

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I just discovered your site. Outstanding! Your ability to "verbalize" creatively reaching far below the substratum hating you... and painting that perfect portrait of what they are! I'm a bit envious for not having quite the talent you have for communicating to that breed. I've had my battles, too. I belong to a biker group from Sweden. All are Harley guys, but me. I've got the lil' Triumph Speed Triple rocket that they dream about (black and the true "hooligan bike"). Funny, but I got it all in a bike for $2800! You can buy these bikes like cheap candy, and it still pulls 95 hp, and with that funky total-range 3-cylinder torque, I can enjoy my ride all day long, and when I "need some", just throttle down and get it! Last summer was a good example; I was biking up to Kansas City from Wichita with a couple buds. One on a BMW 1100, the other a Suzuki 750. We were humming along at 145 mph and zipped by a whole herd of Harley guys that were enroute to Sturgis for the big "ho down." They were hauling ass at 70! Man, those hogs are fast! An hour later we stopped for a nice long break in the beautiful Kansas Flint Hills. Those guys never went by. Guess one of them had a different kind of break... Oh well, they are living the dream! I'm just doing my thing... for $2800! No loan, no high insurance, no worrying about where I parked it, no worrying if it will start, and no worrying about having enough thrill!

Real girls don't give a shit about bikes. "Trailer roaches" love Harleys, because they know that any guy on one is most-likely into gang-fuckin' and doing jail time every few weeks (more gang-fuckin'). Real women might enjoy a bike for the exhilaration, acceleration just like us. No one digs breakdowns, and loud engines that don't do anything but clear their throats.

You'll enjoy this story. I own www.harleyssuck.com . I don't think I have anything up on that site now. I used to always keep up a nice background of daisies. I wanted to make a big event where Harleys took on jap bikes, euro bikes, etc. It was just meant to be good ol' competition at its best. Problem was... Harley didn't want to play. Before I did anything on that site I received a nice certified letter from the lawyers at Harley Davidson. They wasted no time laying down the law, and if I twitched slightly, I would be corrected in a Federal court of law. So I've kept the site all these years and typically planted daisies every spring. Funny, but according to my attorney, it is not illegal for me to operate a gay site... all guys named "Harley." Tempting... very tempting... however, life goes on, and I have no desire to fight this out in court and have it go national on network news. Very itchy deal... makes me feel like Monica Lewinsky holding that damp dress and also wanting my own fashion line. She got her line. I think you can still buy it in Kmart.

I'm a 45 year old male, who has lived about 15 of those years in Europe... and not in the Armed Services, but as a business man. I like the way European way of life. America is growing ill. America got rich too quickly and is only a baby country (except for the advanced indian cultures). People are hungry for identity, and look for things like motorbikes to make up for misdirection. Identity comes through hard work, direction, faith, struggle, and taking notes on it all and developing a consciousness. People are looking for a fast solution to life, and a Harley seems to offer that golden "mystique." I've never been to Sturgis... but I'm imagining it is filled with all types of trash and then pockets of doctors having a "kinky weekend", and proving to their secretaries that they have a desireable "edge." Never negate the "power of the pussy."

European bikers, including European Harley bikers, think different. Uh, they think. I've spent many hours at a biker bar, full of hogs and hog owners. Many of these guys get off on classical music, and read constantly (and write)! They actually gave me the understanding why someone would buy a Briggs-n-Stratton... I mean, Harley. They make pretty good fun with it all; having lots of parties, etc. Its a clan and that clan is famous for parties. I give them "thumbs up" on their hogs, and they respect (and admire) my choices in bikes. Mutual respect. They like all bikes there and respect all since everyone riding lays it on the line. Then I come back to the good ol' USA and see mostly Harley trash! None are wannabees, they have arrived... trash! If I was an attorney for Harley Davidson, I would start suing these "sonssa bitches" for ruining their fine name of chrome lawnmower bikes.

I like affordable fast bikes. I can afford to spend more on a bike, but I like to keep it "expendable." My next desire is to build a "rat bike." Have a $1k budget and build a crazy machine... from an old survivor, like an old Suzuki 1100. Flat black paint, clipons, and a few extra dents and my bike will be 1000 times meaner than any hog (and faster)! Heck, I can run straight pipe, too! Heck, I can take a pint of ethyl and pour it in my hot tailpipe... start my bike... and light it! Wow, all the skank will surely gather over that! "Me biggest man in tribe!"

Wheww... that felt good. Anyway... keep up the excellent work! I just wanted to contribute to the one who runs a jackhammer on the "concrete of dreams" held by all that trash!

You might get a thrill out of some of my commercial net ventures:

www.bumperpower.com

www.bumprstickrz.com  - redneck section has some funny ones.

Best to you,

Dave

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Dear Mr. Blackecho-person:

I'm not a Harley owner and neither do I aspire to be one. I own and ride two motorcycles at the moment (tough, I know, but I manage); a 1995 Honda 1100 Shadow ACE, and a 2003 Triumph Speedmaster. The '95 Shadow is an admitted attempt by Honda to compete with H-D in the cruiser market, and they must have succeeded in some respects since it's certainly as weak as an H-D in the performance area. In fact, I believe this model was the reason behind a lawsuit that H-D filed against Honda citing patent infringement. Honda had incorporated a single pin crank into the engine design that causes the engine to vibrate and sound like a Harley. H-D won the lawsuit, and Honda was actually forced to redesign the engine with a two pin crank and smooth out the vibrations. I think it's a hoot that H-D was SO proud of their inferior design attributes that they sued when another manufacturer semi-replicated it. I often get comments when riding the Honda from people who don't know one V-twin from another. They usually are in the vein of, 'Nice Harley.' If I had your evident gift for extemporaneous witty repartee', I'd respond accordingly.

Although not a performer, I do enjoy riding the Shadow on a nice day when I'm in no particular hurry to be anywhere, but the Triumph is certainly my favorite of the two. It has its own identity and heritage, there's not a lot of them around anywhere, and it's just a blast for me to ride.

I enjoy your site, and I'm glad you found a constructive and entertaining way to show your dark side toward the lemmings.

JB


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I don't know who you are, but today I read this:

http://www.goingfaster.com/angst/harleypete.html

It was hysterical. It said so many things I've long thought but never been able to verbalize as well as you did. Kudos. –Rich

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Hi There,

I haven't laughed so much in ages !!! I live in the United Kingdom and currently ride a Honda Super BlackBird ........I believe it's called the CBR1100XX in the U.S.A. I'm looking to buy my first Harley Davidson later this year....and came across your site whilst surfing the 'net for H-D information.

I'll still buy one.....but I just had to tell you that your site is one of the funniest things I've seen on the internet in years !!!!!

But tell me.....are they really THAT bad ??? I'm waiting for a test ride at the local dealers right now, so I suppose I'll find out for myself in due course !!!!

Keep up the good work.....you've brightened my day !!!!!

Cheers now,

Steve


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I have a blast reading your stuff and email you publish on your site, continue your great work.  I had a Harley once, but when my friend let me try a real bike, well you must know how the story ended,

My regards!

Bcopeman, Quebec Canada
 

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A great laugh..... I'm practically crying.-Tom

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From one 'rice-rocket' rider to another - couldn't've said it better
myself! As the gyrenes say: Semper fi!

Cheers,
Ed

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Mr. Echo,

I emailed you once before to tell you I appreciated your website.

I recently got into an email battle with a "buddy" who rides Hardleys. I wrote this little letter to him and judging
from his heated response I think it really got to him. I must admit I got many of my ideas for the content from you.

Although my rambling letter is nothing like the literary masterpieces you have created, I still wish to share it with
you if you have the time. It is attached below in Word format.

Thanks and keep up the good work.

Arman (aka Johnnycrash)

2003 Honda CBR954RR
2002 KTM 520SX
1987 Honda TRX250R
1972 Husqvarna 450WR


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I must compliment you on your site, I think it is hilarious! You do make alot of good points on how most HD owners are idiots, I associate with most of them myself. I will admit to riding a HD, but I don't believe in all of the stuff about if you don't own one, you aren't American, I personally think that is a bunch of bullshit. I also own a Kawasaki, and I love it. Need to get 2 new carbs for it, and I haven't had any luck trying to find parts for it at the moment, but I am hopeful. When the Saki ran, that thing would scream! would walk off and leave the HD behind. I don't preach about the stories that Harley's have more power, if they do, it isn't used appropriately, and they are too heavy in most cases. My dream import motorcycle is a Hayabusa, I cant get over how they ride, and how fast they are. Another thing, maybe I'm wrong on this one, but don't we all have to deal with the same idiots on the roads every time that we ride?!? No one cares what kind of bike you are riding, they will run you over just the same. I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but as long as you have a bike, and you are intellectual enough to ride it, and have a deep enough understanding of human behavior to not act like a baboon, you can park anything in my garage at anytime, and will treat you like family. But that is quite contrary to most of the people on the road with bikes, HD or otherwise (but mostly the mantra shouting cunt excrement that ride HD's). The reason that I like to ride the HD, is because I do like the way it sounds, I don't have straight pipes on it, I do have mufflers, and it has a sweet mellow sound, but the Saki, it just sounds mean!!!!! I hope this reaches you well, and please feel free to reply, I would like to know some of your opinions on some of the things that I have written. Please be safe in your occupation, read that you were a Police Officer, and I must say that you have some BRASS doing that job, and I respect you for what you do, I know I couldn't do it. Have fun, and Ride Safe.


Sincerely,

Mike

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Fine... Mr. Echo. I'll let you enjoy your own opinion about Harleys, but I'll have you know that the August 2004 edition of Cycle World on page 28 talks about the 125HP Harley that beats the "50HP" model Harleys you always cry about.

Wait...

This is 1967cc's? 120c.i.d.? This is an $8000 "Accessory" to add on top of the original FPOS pricetag? What an effing joke. My 1994 Yamaha YZF750 makes that much power. So... ten years newer... 2.5 times the displacement, and God knows the price difference (I paid $6000 out the door- tax, title, plates included), and NOW they're finally catching up on power? Don't even get started about dry weight, handling, or Dumbass IQ loss. Wow. I didn't buy a Hardley why? Oh, yeah, they're Too! Too heavy, too loud, too slow, too crappy, too ____ (fill in the negatives).

Oh, yeah. BTW- I knew about 20 years ago Hardley's used Jap carbs- Keihn. All American my arse. What a load of lies. Hey! I bet they vote Democratic party too, don't they?

Mr. Echo, when you want to start the roadracing club in the MidWest, let me know.

–Roadrunner

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Whoa guy!

Your website reminded me that there still are some intelligent-minded bike
buying public out there, which dismays me because you see I'm one of the grunts that
works for The Company.....at this rate I will probably be getting my lay-off slip by the
end of the year! ha! ha!

Seriously though, I am employed by your subject of scorn but, you do have to hand it
to my employer; they sure know how to exploit the masses and judging by the projected
production numbers for 2005, doesn't seem to be letting-up anytime soon.

However, not to be accused of biting the hand that feeds me; I thought it might be
interesting to inform you that this brainwashing is not confined to the general public
only but has its genesis at the factory level also. This indoctrination is far more shrewder
by holding your very employment at risk if you do not conform...as seen by some of
the cyborgs I work with.

My rides of choice? an '02 V-Rod and a Triumph TT....why the Triumph you say?..
....one has to have his priorities!

Yours truly, a rebel within a cause.

– L
 

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Keep puting the good word out there, alot more people actually know what a
Valkyire is, probably because you help put that nagging doubt in the back of
their mind 'maybe a Harley isn't the best bike in the world'!

 –Tom

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Just ran across your website and as a Blue Knight and Ex - Harley rider now on a Valkyrie Interstate, I couldn't believe how well you describe the Harley Snobison rider and how corporate manipulated they are. I thought I had some good descriptions to express my ire with them, but you are the best I've seen. Keep up the good work. I will be referring back to your site often.

Jim , AMA, VRCC, ABATE, Blue Knights
 

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Hail!

Awesome site, man. I live in the Midwest, right smack dab in the middle of the biggest pen of sheople that subscribe to the “American Way” of being Schlitz guzzling, mouth-breathing, slack jawed NASCAR fans riding Harley-Davidsons. I can’t sit on my own front porch and carry on a conversation with my girlfriend, because every thirty seconds, some cretin on an open piped hog has to blast by with the trademark “look at me” sonic fanfare of a dickless, inbred bastard-child with self-esteem issues. I would bet that should I follow said cretin, I would certainly find him wearing a Dale Earnhardt shirt, or have the #3 plastered somewhere on his hog, that is if he hasn’t already gone and had the “# 8/# 3 guidance from above” logo tattooed on his left arm, right next to that kick ass naked chick tattoo he got in the slammer for giving the best head in the whole cell block. Thanks for the best internet reading I have ever found! -Bruce


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Great site. I just found it and laughed myself silly. I'm a Honda rider, and a cop as well. Keep up the good work.

Jesse

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My brother had a 94 Sportster that he bought for about $8000 a few years ago. He added about $3000 in upgrades (screaming eagle kit, etc) to the bike. He came to me wanting to sell it, knowing that I had sold various items on Ebay. I asked him what price he wanted to get for it. He said at least $6500. I found out there were around 100 sportsters selling on ebay that were newer and had the same upgrades selling for less. After informing him of that bit of information he sheepishly said he'd go as low as $5500. I went ahead and listed it for $6500 with nary any interest. I dropped the price to $5500 and still no interest. Someone finally called him and said they saw it listed for $5500 and could they take a look at it. He eventually sold it to this person for a price he wouldn't tell me. I would imagine it was for less than the asked price. There are several points worth mentioning here. One is my brother always gave me a hard time for my "pos" (his words) 83 Nighthawk and that I should buy a Harley because of their resale value. The price I paid for my nighthawk was $900 and I put $400 of repairs in it. Secondly he said mine was unreliable and I should get a newer Harley for their dependability. I still ride it and it's now 23 years old without a problem (50k miles). His leaked oil and vibrated and it only had 10k miles on it. Being the older, wiser brother I did not rub in any of these points to him. I've since bought a 2002 Yamaha FZ1 for $4500 (a look of shock from my brother) with 10k. I still have the Nighthawk to lend to my brother to ride when he's in town. He rode my FZ1 the other day and had the biggest grin on his face. Do you think we have a convert?

David

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One of my friends sent your rant to me as I have recently purchased a new motorcycle and struggled with much of the issues you present. I was impressed with your ability to point out what has become a cult following based on a motorcycle design. I have ridden motorcycles for 40 years and during that time have owned bikes from different manufacturers and enjoyed riding each for the pure joy of the ride. Since we do have posted speed limits there really is no reason to have motorcycles or cars that will do 150-180 mph yet they are available. The major issue for most riders is to ride what makes them feel good, look good and provides the most pleasure. Biker Boyz showed what awesome bikes are out there and how crazy you can get while riding them. IF that is your preference. You ride your bike based on your criteria and personally it doesn't do it for me. I ride 65 miles one way to work and find your riding position uncomfortable for long rides. I refused to purchase the overpriced Harley for many of the reasons you pointed out. I didn't wish to pay to be a member of the Harley club and worried that I might not make it to work because of the unreliable nature of the beast. BUT I like choppers and the classic lines of the v-twin and the sound of motor. It's great to be seen but to be seen and heard is better. I never was into the Nazi helmet but chaps come in handy when the temperature is cooler and should you meet asphalt it is much better to lose some leather than it is to lose some skin. I didn't buy a leather jacket with all the zippers and chains just a black Joe Rocket with some protection and weatherproof. To many riding is a fashion statement, it doesn't have to be a Harley rider your rice boys are just as bad with matching jackets and pants. Helmets that cost $400-500 dollars and are air brushed works of art. In essence what really is the difference? Your perspective, you come from one group and dislike the other. Why, did someone snub you or forget to wave?
 
I read an article the other day in a v-twin mag where a Harley rider pissed and moaned about how he wouldn't wave to a non-Harley rider. What a moron. When I first started riding you waved at everyone because there weren't that many of us. Now you need to look at the style and manufacturer of the bike before you say hi? By then most have blasted by and couldn't care less about you. While I agree with your statements which you obviously feel strongly about it's really no different than the Harley rider pissing and moaning. Who cares? I ride because it is the most pleasurable way to get from point A to B. If you wave at me I will wave back no matter what your ride. If you split lanes faster than me I will get out of your way and wish you well and a safe arrival at your destination. I think all riders are special people if for no other reason than they aren't locked into that cage, strapped into the seat, never feeling wind, bugs and rain in the face. I feel sorry for the automobile driver who can never really have the free feeling we get every time we sit on the seat and crank up the beast within. The true joy is the ride if all you can afford is a moped it's still the same wind. Step off your soapbox, forget the cult and enjoy life it's way to short to worry about the pissant. I ride a Roadstar and so in a way you might say I'm even worse than your Harley wannabe does it make me a wannabe wannabe? I like the rumble I like the look. I have done some customizing to make it my personal ride and may do more. If you pass me and wave I'll do the same if not, your loss...In the meantime I'll still be picking bugs off my bandana (protects the teeth) and enjoying the wind in my face. I'll also have the same joy of twisting the wick and feeling the surge of power that moves me in a way a car driver will never feel.

In the wind,

Pat

I had a nice discussion with Pat and received this email in return. -BE

Thanks for the nice reply, I was sent your Harley discourse by a friend and after I wrote to you went deeper into your site and will have to admit I was a bit apprehensive about the type of reply I might have gotten back. It is too funny that people take things to heart like they do. In working my way through your site I did appreciate the laughs reading some of the mail. I will spend more time looking through them and I'm sure laugh even more. My favorite chopper was a Honda 750 very hi-tech for the times and rocket fast considering what bikes were available then. I've owned the Roadstar for 4 months and have over 7,000 miles on it it pulls like a tractor and does everything I want a bike to do. I am glad to hear from you keep up the site it's way too funny and entertaining. Ride safe and be well and may God bless you and yours as well.

Pat

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All I can say is "hallelujah brother!" Your sermon on the wonderful experience of sport riding and what it means to be a true MOTORCYCLIST made me all warm and fuzzy inside. I underwent "conversion" about 1 year ago and I have been "preaching" the word to all of my comrades who havn't straddled two wheels yet. They don't know what they're missing! Only people such as us will know the ZEN that comes when you're tracking like a laser down your favorite sweeper at 2 am out in the middle of nowhere. Frankly, I don't know why people drive cars at all. We should be teaching the youngsters at age 5 already. I own a sports car and drove that all the time before I started riding...I thought it was great...until I started to RIDE. Now the thing just sits in the garage and gets used to ferry "stuff" on weekends. Many people, especially the Harley crowd...ride on WEEKENDS. Not I. I ride whenever I can...and when I'm not riding, I wish that I were. So my brother-in-handlebars, I say Amen. And kudos to you. Spread the word! Ride safe!

-Chuck, Florida

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Hey Import Brother,

I love the site. I have a 1993 Suzuki Intruder that I've never had any
trouble with. I will admit that I think HD makes some good looking bikes,
but until they upgrade their technology, I will upgrade to a Volusia before
I'd buy an HD. I agree with almost everything you say about HD, and the
automatons (as you put it). But one thing that I feel needs to be brought to
your attention: As you use the word "scoggins" frequently, it makes me
think of one of the sexiest actresses alive today, Tracy Scoggins. I'm not
saying she's a great actress, but that name association just doesn't seem
right considering her attributes.

Mark

Tracy Scoggins doesn't drag her knuckles.  She probably also doesn't walk around in Walmart on a Sunday morning wearing pink fuzzy slippers, a bathrobe, curlers in her hair and buy $40 worth of trial size beauty supplies and a case of Pabst Blue RIbbon. -BE

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Just want to let you know, We agree 100 %! I was looking for a fork seal and bushing tool, ran across your page. Found 1 for 59 big ones, Harley acts like you aint supposed to have one unless you are a certified. 20,000 geeze later. I don?t claim to be a know it all but I do wrench on my own as much as I can. Nice to run across something like this every now n then. You should send your page to every dealer stuff shirt wanna be yuppie do rag clean leather shiney boot mother------, in town.

Later Man,  -Roadking

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You fucking rock!! Stumbled onto your Harley Site. I ride a ZX11, really
dont give a shit what anyone else rides, but I am sure as fuck glad you do!
Keep those guns blazing.
Franchi

and two hours later...

I know I just emailed you, but oh my god!! the further into the site I
go....
I just cant breathe its so funny. I have a friend with a VTX, his bro. is
about to "order" a Harley.
Finding this site tonite must be a sign that there is still hope to snap him
out of it.
Lata Buddy, and thanks sooooooo much for the laughs!!

Franchi


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If you don't own a Harley now, don't get one because if you haven't been
riding one since 1903 you're not a real Harley rider so don't bug me you
poser fag. Big twins are real Harleys; Sportsters are training Harleys
you poor confused fool. Shovelheads are real Harleys; EVOs are just like a
Honda cheesy
commonplace and boring. If you had any class, you'd own a shovel.
Even old Sportsters, yuck, are better than an EVO yuppie scum!
EVOs are for smart people, Shovelheads suck and leak oil. You'd
have an EVO if you could afford one you impoverished peon.
Panheads are real Harleys; Shovelheads are just like a Triumph.
If you had any class, you'd own a Panhead you fucking pussy.
Big twin riders who say that Sportsters suck are confused assholes
who are too stupid to get "it" you retard!

Hardtail riders are insane; their values are not the same as mine
so they're wrong you psychotic stuck in the past indigent scumbag.
Hardtail riders are more manly and virile than people who ride
bikes that have suspensions you spineless wimp.

TC88s are just like EVOs, but more so. Jap-like, soulless, and
aimed at wussies that can't handle a bike that they need to maintain
by themselves. You gullible, overly impulsive, slave to
marketing, zombie!

TC88s are just like EVOs, but more so. Firmly based in tradition,
but really modern too! Plus, all the power I need to ride it up the
trailer ramp without stalling! I want to go to rallies, damn it, not
spend all my time wiping the embarrassing little stains of oil that
darken the crinkle paint on the big thingy around the bottom of
those two things with the fins on them. You stinky, oil seeping,
stuck in the past, Neo-Ludite, slimeball!

TC88 "riders", if you're generous and stupid enough to call them
"riders" at all, are the new bred of trailering, moneyed, losers that
are ruining it for the rest of us. The real, anointed, holy, badass,
mutherfuckin, true grit riders that have earned it. I'm sick of these
parasites infiltrating our ranks. They should be rounded up and
forced to wear little furry brown triangles to mark them as the
pussies they are. They want tattoos; I'll give um fuckin' tattoos.

We'll number these chino-wearing cocksuckers so they can be
counted, tracked, inventoried, and then in some glorious day in the
future, we can be rid of them, once and for all. Pile um up on their
own fuckin' trailers and haul them to a pit I say. At last, a world
filled with nothing but pure superior Ueberbikers like me. You
poser, ruining it for the rest of us, piece of shit!

I've been riding for 50 fuckin' years. Course, I don't ride no more
on account of my piles. We didn't need no fuckin' pussy MSF class
in those days. No siree bob. We didn't need no fuckin' pussy new
fangeled front brake neither. I can't tell you how many bros. we lost
because they had a couple or three too many, forgot NOT to use
that stupid thing, flipped over, and ended up in a ditch. You callin'
me a liar? Were was I? Oh yeah! You, think you're so fuckin'
smart, I'll fuckin' show you a god damn thing or two, if I git my
hands on you, when I was your age, greenhorn, jagoff, hit you
so hard your kids'll be born dizzy, pansy, diaper boy,
rapscallion!

My dad can beat up your dad.

The brand X riders just don't get it. They blow huge amounts of
money on the latest new "advanced" technological "innovation" just
to be the first guy on the block to have one. Well I'm fuckin'
impressed, let me tell you. How fuckin' shallow. The really great
thing about Harley is that you can be the first guy on the block to
blow huge amounts of money on something without risking that it
might be advanced or innovative. That's fuckin' tradition, you
imitation Ricky Racer fudge packer!

Bikers aren't the lowlifes that they used to be; now "real" people
ride Harleys you lice infested worthless loser.

Riding a Harley used to mean something, now any butt reaming
wannabe can get one. I don't care if people think I'm an indigent
scumbag but I don't want them to think I may be a lawyer or a
stockbroker. That would be yucky.

If you have a job and can afford a Harley, you're a yuppie RUB.
BTW, an EVO motor is a dead give away. Oh yeah, and you're gay
too.

I don't get it. I bought the bike I wear the clothes. I buy them rounds
of the cheap fuckin' piss-like domestic swill-beer they seem to like.
I call my wife "the old lady", the police "the man" and cars "cages".
Still, I suspect that I'm not given the consideration I should be given
for not flaunting that I'm too good for them. If they could see me at
the firm during the week, they'd understand the effort I'm making to
blend. You lower class, reverse snob, blue-collar underachiever!
If you don't put several thousand dollars in performance mods on
your bike, you're a spineless wimp with no real soul you insecure
poser loser.

If you do put several thousand dollars worth of mods on your bike,
you're a poser scumbag out to impress sixteen-year-old girls you
insecure poser loser.

Real Harley riders have no respect for those who are not one of the
elite.

Real Harley riders attend H.O.G. meetings every Wednesday and try
to improve the image of Harley riders and encourage others to start
enjoying the thrills of being one of the Harley family.

H.O.G. members are like "pod-people" following their herding
instinct, They are weak and are also toadies for Harley.

Ex-Jap bike riders are like ex-alcoholics. Hi, my name's Bob and
I once owned a Suzuki. I've been clean for ten years now....

Ex-Sportster riders are like ex-alcoholics. Hi, my name's Bob and
I once owned a XLH. I've been clean for ten years now.... One oil
change at a time.

Buells are for the confused. It's not a Harley, it's not a real sport
bike, and if they could afford it, they must be yuppies. Scum!
Harley should dump this retro shit and build a real bike.

Ducati riders are gay. This guy I work with bought a Ducati from
someone that everyone knows is a Homo. He's too stupid to see
that this means he must be one too. Got me grinning like one of the
fuckin' rednecks from Deliverance for fuck's sake. Even though he
does have a real purdy mouth, he's doesn't understand that no
Homosexuals ride Harleys, or he'd go out and buy one of those like
I did to prove he's not a Homo. You dumb, out of touch,
effeminate, chickenhawk patronizing, trend monger!

If it's not a Harley, it sucks. If you ask why, you're a fag. Love it
or leave it. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Fuck you.

Helmets are for fags.

If you had a brain, you'd protect it. Since you don't, I'll pass a law
you dick.

Rare bikes should be bought for collectors' value and never ridden
so that they'll be around for years. `83 XR1000 0 miles,
$50,000.00

Every bike should be ridden. If it isn't, you shouldn't own it you
poser yuppie born insecure motherfucker.

People who ride rare bikes have no respect for the importance of
the history they are destroying you lowlife redneck.

Drag pipes are a sign of a lowlife moron with no respect for
others. Who you trying to impress? You insecure poser loser.
Drag pipes are the sign of a real Harley owned by a real Harley
rider. They are as American as date rape on prom night! You
insecure poser loser.

It's nice that Harley is attempting to clean up its image. They license
their logo only to very good quality vendors these days you get
what you pay for but you pay for the name at the same time.
Harley dealers now suck. They are full of overpriced Taiwanese
clothing and lick and stick tattoos for poser balding accountants
and their porcine issue.

Tell you what, I'll stop bathing, start dressing like an ex-con version
of the biker guy from the Village People, threaten my boss, and
then I'll run right out and get a fuckin' lobotomy so I cam hang out
with these knuckle dragging lowlifes. Will that make you happy?
Jeez, I can't fuckin' wait. How come these new order pseudo
Bolsheviks always associate themselves with Vietnam? Apparently
they fought on the communist side the way they preach class
warfare. Bikers of the world unite! Excuse the fuck out of me for
not being semi-employable. Fuck you comrade Gomer! Go fuck
yourself, you cheap semiskilled laborer!

The fuckin' MoFoCo is totally ungrateful to me for that Sportster I
bought in `74. It was a piece of shit, everyone knew it, but I
bought it anyhow. That's what I call fuckin' loyalty. They fuckin'
own me! If it weren't for me, where would Harley be now, huh? I'm
more loyal and worthy than you are! Harley only wants you for
your money! Harley doesn't love you. Harley's just using you. You
just can't understand the special thing we had together. You could
never understand! Even Harley doesn't understand. What we had
was beyond love man! That's why I cut my ear off and sent it to
Harley. Harley will understand now, oh yes. Harley will come back
to me someday, you'll see. Then what'll you do, huh? Whose gonna
buy your bike then? Then you'll be the one with the 500-ft.
restraining order on you. You Johnny-come-lately, good time
Charley!

Harley is in league with the trilateral commission and the United
Nations to subjugate us all. They are using marketing and black
helicopters to artificially inflate the prices of the bikes we have a
God given constitutional right to. It will leave us weak and
economically defenseless from their blue helmeted coming
oppression. WAKE UP!! You head up your ass credulous fool!

Look, it's just that they plain don't get it that's all. It's sad really
`cause it's like so obvious what's really important in life, but they
just can't see it. They all dress alike and cop this fuckin' `tude that
their bikes are better than our bikes and what they want from a
motorcycle is the only thing anyone should want. I mean, fuck
them! They all think they're God's gift to motorcycling . Keepers of
the fuckin flame, give me a break. Their bikes are fuckin' stupid. I
hate those fuckin' Sportbike riders.

Look, it's just that they plain don't get it that's all. It's sad really
`cause it's like so obvious what's really important in life, but they
just can't see it. They all dress alike and cop this fuckin' `tude that
their bikes are better than our bikes and what they want from a
motorcycle is the only thing anyone should want. I mean, fuck
them! They all think they're God's gift to motorcycling . Keepers of
the fuckin flame, give me a break. Their bikes are fuckin' stupid. I
hate those fuckin' BMW riders.

Look, it's just that they plain don't get it that's all. It's sad really
`cause it's like so obvious what's really important in life, but they
just can't see it. They all dress alike and cop this fuckin' `tude that
their bikes are better than our bikes and what they want from a
motorcycle is the only thing anyone should want. I mean, fuck
them! They all think they're God's gift to motorcycling . Keepers of
the fuckin flame, give me a break. Their bikes are fuckin' stupid. I
hate those fuckin' Harley riders.

Look, it's just that they plain don't get it that's all. It's sad really
`cause it's like so obvious what's really important in life, but they
just can't see it. They all dress alike and cop this fuckin' `tude that
their bikes are better than our bikes and what they want from a
motorcycle is the only thing anyone should want. I mean, fuck
them! They all think they're God's gift to motorcycling . Keepers of
the fuckin flame, give me a break. Their bikes are fuckin' stupid. I
hate those fuckin' EVO owners.

Look, it's just that they plain don't get it that's all. It's sad really
`cause it's like so obvious what's really important in life, but they
just can't see it. They all dress alike and cop this fuckin' `tude that
their bikes are better than our bikes and what they want from a
motorcycle is the only thing anyone should want. I mean, fuck
them! They all think they're God's gift to motorcycling . Keepers of
the fuckin flame, give me a break. Their bikes are fuckin' stupid. I
hate those fuckin' TC88 owners.

Look, it's just that they plain don't get it that's all. It's sad really
`cause it's like so obvious what's really important in life, but they
just can't see it. They all dress alike and cop this fuckin' `tude that
their bikes are better than our bikes and what they want from a
motorcycle is the only thing anyone should want. I mean, fuck
them! They all think they're God's gift to motorcycling . Keepers of
the fuckin flame, give me a break. Their bikes are fuckin' stupid. I
hate those fuckin' Shovelhead riders.

SCrawford

This reinforces my firm belief that decaf was invented by a masochist. -BE

_________________________

Where to begin?

Eloquent, verbose, dynamic, curt?..

These are just a few terms I thought of to describe your site and the various items found within. I am a long time rider and have been on everything from HD to the imports. I don?t own nor will ever own anything that is equivalent to a down payment on a house. I like to ride my bike and not have it spend more time in the air than on the ground. During the course of perusing through your site I saw a lot of things that I agreed with and disagreed with. Overall I have to admire what you have accomplished. If HD owners were not so insecure in their modius operandi (sp?) you would not get the plethora of intellectual emails which populate your site (and amuse the shit out of me).

I neither condone nor condemn your practices, they amuse and inform. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing endeavors with this website. I will be pointing my rider buddies to it for their own edification. Job well done.

BTW one question, where do you ride (I am just curious) because I am wondering if the HD experience in your neck of the woods is similar to mine out here on the west coast.

I have also attached a rant I came across in the past, lots of colorful vernaculars which I am sure you can put to good use.

It is below.

"You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly
with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts that sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, and a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

Try to edit your responses before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to people, but they will be able to recognize it more rapidly. You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe
that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid that it goes way beyond the